Well this weekend was a complete bust. I blew it and blew it big. I wasn't prepared to a temptation like vacation. We went on our trip to Great Wolf Lodge for only one night & I consumed burgers, fries, candy and even more junk. I weighed myself on Saturday morning to find myself at 179.8. Granted I over ate a little on Friday but that is only a 2.4 lb loss for almost a week of striving after not trying & binging. Normally I can get rid of that in one day by drinking water. So to me it looks like not a loss at all cause it could be just water weight and after almost a week, really??? Now I can't outright blame the cleanse. The cleanse which I didn't complete, I was suppose to drink the fiber drink this morning and I didn't, was making me feel better. And I wasn't tracking calories I just thought I was doing good by eating what I knew was good food but I was probably sticking to 1500 calories a day ish. So I blew my 10 days and now no 10 day reward. So do I pick the cleanse back up and complete it after all the crap I ate this weekend or do I look for something else? I know I need to eat 1300-1500 calories a day and burn 2300-2500 a day for my goal of 2 lbs loss a week.
This weekend my lungs were burning and my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. Why you ask because I was going up stairs to go on water slides. My legs are sore, I have never been so out of shape in my life. I've always been at least a little fit when I was younger. I couldn't run to save my life at this point. I have got to get in shape. My BFF wants to sign up for like 3-5 more 5K's this year. I remember how motivated I was to get in shape after the Warrior Dash and I still desire to be in shape yet don't put forth the effort. I set up an alarm across the room so I would have to get out of bed to turn in off in hopes that would help me get up earlier and it doesn't. I have researched and blogged about how discipline is a learned skill. I need to earn this skill! I have my drivers license photo coming up in March and a trip to Disneyland in March. All only 7 weeks away and I'll need to renew my license before our trip so there is no way I can lose like I want to to make a difference on my photo. But hopefully I can lose enough to help w/ the walking I'll be doing at Disneyland. I told DH I am feeling like I can't do anything and of course that means I am preparing to fail w/ talk like that. Well I don't know what I am going to do just yet, just frustrated and sad that I willingly accepted failure again.
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