So in the Chapter Change your mind, Change your body. I highlighted so much. He talks about how your body is a machine and at first I am like yeah yeah but then he gets deeper. He goes on to explain how "If you don't take control of your machine, it will eventually wreak havoc on itself- and you." He talks about how you need to control you machine w/ your mind because It will always be tired, will want to say in your current habits & it's ran by your emotions. but with "Each daily victory will build upon the last until you reach the point where your emotion-fueled machine is no match for you. When your machine submits to your mind, they work together in harmony.... and are unstoppable. Together, you can accomplish anything and everything you set out to achieve, from breaking destructive habits to loosing as much weight as you need to!" He then asks you to do something silly and get to know your machine. So he his having you making silly faces, squishing your face around and then he gets to your stomach and tells you to "Feel the layer of body fat. Grab it. Squeeze it." At this point I am thinking he is nuts cause this is just not a happy thing to do. then he says "While holding it, understand that your body fat is simply a layer of unused energy-- that's all. It's a sign that your body is beautifully efficient." WHAT??? I've never EVER thought about it that way. So I am now thinking, ok so my body is doing what is suppose to do and it is doing a great job at it. No matter how hard I've tried it the past I've never been able to come up w/ something positive to say about my fat and OMGoodness there IS a positive way to think about it.
Then he started talking about Integrity, I don't know if I've never really thought about the definition of integrity. I know some people that I would say yes she has integrity. This is where I started feeling the lump in my throat grow. "Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It's our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves, to 'walk our talk.' It's honor with self, the essence of proactive growth.(quoted in his book from the 7 Habits of highly effective people) To live with integrity is to honor your word and commitments, to yourself first, and then to others. By following through on your daily health commitments, you grow your won self-worth so that you can take greater and greater control of your machine. As this happens you begin to see your potential to take on bigger challenges. Your machine is at your command. You start to see that your target is within reach." "Look into the mirror and say to yourself, I have not fulfilled promises that I have made to myself it has hurt my self-esteem and confidence. But now I am re-comminting to my goals!" It made me realize I have no integrity. I am not true to my word to myself ever. Things I feel are important to me never happen.
In a later chapter he said to take your measurements and your before pictures. My measurements are so horrible. I had my Mom double check my waist one. I've NEVER been that big. I had her measure the largest part of my waist right at my belly button and I and I am going to post my measurements and my pics.
Biceps: 14 1/4 (right)
14 1/2 (left)
Chest: 47
Tummy 50
Hips 48 1/2
Thighs 25 (right)
24 3/4 (left)
Calves 15 1/4 (right)
15 1/2 (left)
These pictures have me not at my heaviest because this morning my weigh in was at 179.2 and my heaviest is 182.8 however they are the largest measurements I have ever recorded even from back in Nov I had a starting weight of 181 and my measurements were slightly smaller. The circumference of my stomach at it's largest point is 2 itches taller than my 7 year old. Not sure how I have gotten to this point but it stops here. It has to. One of my goals is now to live w/ integrity & be in control of my machine. By Sept 1st I will be 54.2 lbs lighter. closing out today w/ some more quotes from Choose to Lose: "From this moment on I will face each and every downfall in life as an opportunity to become stronger. I will use my resolve, perseverance, and resourcefulness to find solutions and meet my daily commitments." "My current lifestyle is not working of rme. I am ready for a change. I choose to use my inner strength and resourcefulness to fulfill the daily commitments that will lead to a thinner, healthier, happier me. I am now and athlete in training.
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