My balloon deflated..

I woke up still proud of the work outs I accomplished this week. Thinking I can totally do this just got to get the eating thing planned and figured out. So I started digging into Chris Powell's "Choose to Lose" And was really starting to consider doing the carb cycling. He uses a wood stove as an example of our bodies metabolism.  So when you have a roaring fire you have to keep putting fire wood on it to keep it at a steady burn and the fire burns up the wood no problem and then every now and they you throw a big log on & it burns it up really fast and the fire gets large. How ever if we let the fire die down and then throw the big log on it smothers the fire. His plan has high carb days and low carb days and the a free day where you can eat the foods your craving.  I am skeptical cause I am like come on I have low carb days every other day and the very next day I can fill some of my carb cravings and the once a week I get to eat french fries or go out for popcorn at the movies?? Sounds to good to be true. So I thought to myself wouldn't hurt to try for a week. So I called my Mom to see what she thought. Then remembered that she should be weighing in soon so I asked her how her diet was going and she said today was weight in and she was down 9 lbs. I got this sinking feeling in my stomach.  I am so glad she is losing the weight, she NEEDS to. When she started she was 208 lbs & her BMI was over 40 putting her in the morbidly obese category.  I need her healthy so she can be around for a long time! But then the selfish side of me started thinking about how at this rate she is going to be thinner than me for our Disneyland trip.  I started feeling pretty down.  So I texted DH at work and here is how the conversation went down:
ME: My mom's weigh in was today and she is down 9 lbs. at this rate she is going to weight less than I do by vacation. I don't know what that is going to do to me mentally. Just the thought about it makes me feel so horrible. I am glad she is losing weight just never thought I would see the day, ya know?
DH:That is great for her! You need to not compare yourself to others babe you can do it too.
ME:Thanks for loving me even though I am so crazy
DH: I love you very much. I try to be as supportive as I can
ME: You are very supportive. My blog says that all the time ;-) I just wish I was more supportive of myself
DH:Sorry if I get impatient sometimes. I just get frustrated because I know you can do the things you want to do but you don't realize it yourself.
ME: very true. I do know I can do it but I just get overwhelmed to easily and then go into shut down mode.
DH: I think I know you better than you know you, you know. ;-P

He is my biggest cheer leader and truly believes in me and that I can do anything.  I really just need to make up my mind on what I am doing food wise. I jumped back and forth from just work out & keep your calories 1500 or under.  But after reading some of Chris's book it makes allot of since that if i keep to a 1200-1500 calorie diet my metabolism will eventually slow down to just burn that because your training your body that is all it needs to burn & this is what causes plateaus. But w/ carb cycling and larger calorie days your body keeps on burning. I don't know what to do: WW, Carb cycling, calorie counting???? AAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!