Feeling weak...

Here I am negative in my points for the week. Looks like I will not be hitting that 8 lb mark. My BFF who only had 6 lbs to go in her very long journey to lose 80 lbs. She decided to do the Advocare cleanse and in the first 6 day she is down the 6 lbs. She said she finally did it exactly how they say to and BAM the last 6 lbs she's been trying to lose for like 6 months was gone.  I was super excited for her and then I hit my sulking phase. I know I haven't been doing my best I could be working the diet plan better.  And last week I was not negative in my points and I had that .4 gain that sent me into a spiral causing me to over eat yet again but now I sit -8 weekly points.  I am trying to look forward to Wed because at least it is a fresh start and on one hand I do believe that the bingeing I get to do w/ my weekly points has been keeping me from completely saying screw it. However it is also keeping my weight loss at a slower rate. My scale said 176 this morning. No idea what tomorrow or Wed is going to bring and not this Wed but next Wed I have to work so I can't make my weigh in and I am thinking being a little late to work that day just to weigh in.

I need to get up early tomorrow to work out before work because I have plans after work.  I really could go 2 days between my C25K work outs because they are only for 3 days a week and I have never ran in the morning I am wondering if I'd have less stamina to run that I do in the evenings when I have been doing it.

I am so cranky and frustrated I think I wish I could live like this but that is a lie.  I don't like living like this.  I don't want to live like this. I LOVE the fact that I did a 5K & a 20 mile bike ride in the last 8 days & didn't have an asthma attack. I LOVE that my boys are telling me nice running Mommy. I LOVE that my husband is calling me a rock star and that I can see dare I say some pride in his eyes when I he comes in while I am working out on the treadmill. This is a marathon NOT a sprint and just as my C25K training you run and then you walk.  It isn't all downhill. Somedays are easier than others.  I need to keep this going. I can't let my self stop.