-3

No I haven't lost more weight that is wear my weekly points allowance is at right now.  I over ate yesterday including depleting my weekly loins and work out points. So as I earn work out points those I can get to positive points.  So last night as I ate my 6th Chocolate chip cookie, we had company over and I made them for dessert, I told myself I just need to get right back to it tomorrow.  But what happens this morning?  I get up and eat 3 Chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.  :-/  And I want to go get fast-food for lunch and I am stressed about DH leaving on his business trip tomorrow.  How do I stop the massive eating?  It feels like once I start I can't stop.  I have to work out at least twice to earn the 3 points to break even and I have to stick strictly to my points.

 I feel like there is no way I can lose weight this week.  I have eating out at a Mexican restaurant, cinnabar and ate like a pig yesterday on delicious home made food. Where the week before I stuck to the diet and only lost 3.8 so I feel a little hopeless. I am 2nd guessing the amount of chips I ate at the Mexican resturant and I haven't been drinking water like I should.  My kids are sick. they always are right before & while DH is away on business. I am digging myself back into the hole.  Here is a pic I drew right before I started my diet of rock bottom.  I titled it "Sometimes you just need to look up"

I just wish it was a matter of fact for me to just eat right. Why is it such a struggle and so difficult to make good decisions? My BFF that I am running the color run w/ next weekend just did a different 5K this last weekend and she did it in 36 mins and I instantly feel guilty that she is stuck running the next one w/ me. I mean that means she did an about an 11 min mile and I am currently not even hitting a mile in 20 mins on my C25K program.  I always feel behind.  Granted I need to remember she started the C25K when I should have so she is on week 7 and I am on week 2(starting today).  So back again to the fact that I don't make good decisions. I could be very prepared for next weekend but instead I am no anywhere close to it.  I am nervous and want to back out just because of my lack of ability.  The whole last 1/2 of the color run is uphill. I am afraid for my lungs.  I have a feeling I will be posting allot over the next week w/ DH not home. So be prepared for daily or possibly multiple post a day.