So we registered for the Warrior Dash again. It is not until Sept of next year and I really want to kick ass this time. We registered for the same one so I can compare my time & efforts. Today I am so cranky. Just sitting around doing nothing. Been thinking allot since my last post about what I need to do & where I want to be. That whole structural tension thought process is really making me think about what I need to do to get where I want. It involves allot of things I don't want to do. LOL!!
Does anyone really want to change there eating habits, start exercising, start working hard? Change is uncomfortable, change isn't easy, change is frustrating. And the hard cold truth is that I do want to change. I want to be a better wife, mother, business woman and be healthy athletic person. And presently not changing I am uncomfortable, my body aches after I spend the day cleaning the house, I am frustrated all the time at the situation I am letting myself live in. So the only reason I am here is right back to laziness and not wanting to work hard. To think that after I am in the habit to eat healthier & exercise I will have the energy I am lacking to do all these things I am wanting to do. Maybe the key to starting this all is to be willing to drink a spark every morning. LOL!! If I haven't talked about spark before it is a great vitamin energy drink type thing from Advocare. It is full of vitamin B and not very much caffein but after drinking that I can hardly sit still. So Maybe on work days I will have to not drink it cause I am stuck at my cubicle.
Our family pictures are a week away & I am making us take them cause I am tired of not being in the pictures. However I am also very upset that I didn't lose any weight and that I will be this over weight in my pictures. I remember when my Mom weighed 160. I remember because of all the complaining she did about it and I was 12 or 13 which actually would have made my Mom 32 or 33. Holy cow, I didn't realize how closely I was following in her footsteps. I can see my future by looking at where my Mom is today. However she has spent much more time losing weight than I have. She lost weight several times once she was down to a size 12 when I was like 21 but then she gained it all back. This is why I have such a hard time even thinking of using some program, pill, HGC, or vitamins to "help" I have only seen my Mom gain the weight back over and over again. Once when I was really young she did lose with diet and exercise and got all the way down to like 111 lbs right before she had my little brother. I truly believe I have brain washed myself because of my fear of gaining the weight back. Every time I think about losing I feel the fear. I need to push through that w/ positive self talk. I have to retrain my brain that I can do whatever I put my mind to.
This changes will bring about so many positive things for not just me but my family. I truly believe if I am healthier I will succeed in all areas. This week is a really tough week schedule wise. DH got called for jury duty and it is messing up his week off and his hours at work. So my Mom has to watch to boys when she normally doesn't and we were thinking about an over night stay next week, DH & I, at a hotel but I just don't think it is going to happen. Anyways, all this to say w/ this crazy schedule again the benefit of me working from home would be so huge. Being able to set my own schedule around the needs of my family would just be so amazing. Pink Cadillac Directors in MK have said they only spend 8-10 hrs a week working outside the home. I can sacrifice 10 hrs out of my home a week to be able to take my kids to school be there when they get home and even make most meals. I would love to have a bigger house w/ a room for my office and a place to host parties in my home then I am just simply running down stairs for an hour and they eliminates the commute to & from the party as well. Now that we are getting a little off topic, I really should go to bed.
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