The fear & what if's

Laying in bed last night tossing and turning.  Trying to figure out why it is so hard to do this.  And it is the constant fear and what if I fail, what if we need to go out w/ friends, what if it doesn't work.  The fear is so debilitating.  This morning I got up and have no official plan. I ate eggs and fruit for breakfast and a lean pocket and grapefruit for lunch.  It isn't perfect but it's better than not doing anything.  I keep on thinking about a prepackaged meal plan so I just don't have to think but this wouldn't help my relationship w/ food.  The problems w/ the prepackaged foods are they are low in calorie because they are processed and they have bars, snacks and all the stuff to fill your habits. So you aren't changing your habits you are simple swapping different foods for the ones you normally eat but they are still filling the need for that type of food.  Which I think well at this might be needed for people can't change and maybe I am to that point where I need to eat processed crap because it is better than being fat & unhealthy.  I don't know..................