There is no way to remove my double chin, my waist that is the same measurements of my boobs, or my super round face in 4 days. Sunday is coming and I've wasted the month I had to lose weight before pictures. I promised myself I would do these pics even if I didn't lose any weight. I am back teetering between 179-180. The effects this weight has on my physically & mentally is horrible. When I stepped on the scale last night before getting in the shower I was 181.6. Knowing I had just finished dinner and that wasn't my real weight but still man. I can feel my double chin hitting the sides of my chest depending on where I move my head. I spent most of my shower last night trying to phsyc myself up for the picture results. Knowing I will not look good in these pics and I will have to be ok with that because it is more important that we have the pictures as a family. I will have to look past the double chin & fat face and find me in the picture again. It wasn't so long that I was watching home movies and I was Looking through the fat. I could see me, the me I missed the me I really & truly am when I'm not in my own way.
I am afraid to succeed not for the fear of success but the fear of success but to fail & fall after I've succeed. And that leads to the fact that I don't believe I can truly succeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment