Weigh in and Christmas baking DO NOT MIX!!

Today I am up 1.8 lbs thanks to my amazing baking abilities.  So I have learned that I can handle Thanksgiving w/ a date weekend with Hubby no problem but Christmas cookies……not so much!  I'm not sure if it was due to the lack of planning and point calculating or just ate WAY to many cookies.  I figured 2 points a cookie and I finished off two trays of different types of cookies in 4 days. O_O   BFF said it was so worth it and it's only once a year. This is true. I don't make these cookies another time during the year so that is a REALLY good thing. And I will not be weighing in next week because I have to work on Christmas Eve & that is my normal weigh in day.  So in two weeks I'd like to not only lose the 1.8 I just put back on but also my goal of 1.25 lbs a week, a total of 4.3.  That is allot. Not totally undoable but it's allot even for two weeks time.

Christmas is coming and some of my favorite foods are going to be there. The same Broccoli casserole that I made for thanksgiving will be there but I have those points figured out but we are also having swedish meatballs and I have NO idea how many points they are.  I am making them so I will figure out what the point total is for the whole batch then divide them up by how many I make. I am sure there is an easier way to do it but this is the way I am going to do it. We have more cookies to make this week but luckily I am not a big fan of sugar cookies so that shouldn't be such a big deal.

I have to be honest about today. I don't even know how many points I've eaten.  I went to McDonald's for breakfast, had fried chicken for lunch and my hubby picked up fish and chips for dinner and I ATE IT ALL! Plus some carmel corn.  Since my big cookie binge I've been feeling ill. I've been eating WAy to much crap and I've decided to do another cleanse.  You can use the Advocare cleanse every 90 days it has been 120 since my last one so I am due for another. I feel like I need to get this crap out of my system and I am almost looking forward to my cleanse.  I have a 4 day weekend the weekend after Christmas so I am going to start it on the 27th and I'll be done with round one of my fiber drink by the time I have to go back to work.

This weekend my BFF & I also wrote down our Half Marathon training into our calendars. But that is a topic worthy of it's own blog post. :-)

Consistency

Weigh in was today and I am down another 0.8 lbs.  The lady at WW said something to me that NO ONE has ever said to me; You are just being so consistent these last few weeks.  One thing I have never been is consistent. Well let me rephrase that. I've never been consistent at things that are good for me. I've been consistent at eating crap for years and years that is how I got where I am.  Down 13.2 lbs now. No major eating out plans for this week so I should be able to use my points a little more wisely. I went shopping today and need to prep my food but I have lots of good choices ready to go this week.  This will I am planning on reaching my1.25 lbs loss goal. Although the best would be another 2.8 week cause then I would have lost 15 total and the WW scale would show me in the 160's.

All wrapped up...

We are done Christmas shopping except for a couple gift cards we need to pick up and they are all wrapped and under the tree.  Christmas is my favorite holiday and I love the whole season. Gift giving is my love language. Now that all the shopping is done and I am settling in for my Christmas knitting and holiday movie watching, I find my mind wandering to New Years.  The ads have started making there way to the new year and how you can change your life.  Weight Watchers, Medifast, Jenny Craig are all on the move for the New Year New You.

Every year for as long as I can remember I spend a lot of December planning my attack on the New Year. Reviewing my blog from last Dec, I  spent lots of time concentrating on everything I had been planning on doing that I didn't do. How I didn't lose any weight or get in shape.  This year my mind is not in the same place. For the last 3 weeks I've been having successes in my weight loss. In the last 3 weeks I've lost 4 lbs that is just slightly above my goal of 1.25 lbs a week.  Now that I have truly accepted the process I'm not upset with the small weight losses.

3 weeks ago was the week before Thanksgiving.  Never in my life have I been so close to the holidays and actually started losing weight. That is the point were I would normally have said Oh well only a month and a half left of this year and with all the holidays I will just start January 1st.  But for some reason I didn't.  The last year of digging at the reasons as to why I keep on sabotaging myself and my weight loss was mentally exhausting. But if we don't fix our brain and just lose the weight it'll come back.  I feel like I have a better chance now that my thoughts seem to be on the right track.

All this being said tomorrow is weigh in day and I this week wasn't my best.  I am not negative points but I didn't spend my points wisely or eat every 3 hrs.  My most successful week was that wee after all my prep in my food. I need to go to the grocery store and do that again for the next week. I will post my weigh in tomorrow.

Weigh in, the odds were not in my favor...

The odds were NOT in my favor this week. So much not in my favor that just a month ago the me with the old attitude about losing weight would have said: "I might a well give up this week, maybe next week."  Here are some of the odds that were against me.

1. It was Thanksgiving
2. Black Friday shopping w/ snacks

2. I had a weekend with Hubby away

3. Ate out at at Cinnebar (Philly cheese steak & Fries)

4. Ate out at the buffett at the Casino

5. Ate out at Dick's Drive In 

6. Visited a chocolate factory and got candy bar that was worth 12 points! O_O
7. Last but not least, and a TMI, it is that time of the month.

All these sound like amazing and practically valid excuses don't they?? If you read my previous POST about getting ready for Thanksgiving, I was prepared and my points were planned. Granted I didn't spend my points the wisest ways I could they went towards more junk than they should have but I tracked every bite!  And I even brought shock to the lady at WW when I stepped on the scale. I was down 0.4!!!!!!  I've never been so proud of under a half pound in my life!!  With all the circumstances surrounding this loss it is amazing! The lady at WW said Holy Cow you lost weight. I don't think she saw may losses this week with a response like that. MyBFF's respond was "who loses weight on Thanksgiving?"  I'm like apparently I DO!!  Yes it is a small loss but it proves once again that WW works. Even in the midst of everything that went on and everything I ate. I stayed in my points just barely, I was honest, I tracked everything and I lost weight.  

Thanksgiving wrap up….

Thanksgiving morning came and I reach my goal of being under 170!!!! My scale read 169.6!! I thought I would be like jumping up and down but I was in shock!  I was in complete disbelief that I saw that number and on the day that was my goal to reach it.  The sad truth is I honestly can't tell you when the last time was that I reached a weight goal I had set for myself.   After my amazing weekend with my husband eating all my weekly points in 3 days, including thanksgiving, my scale said 170.8 this morning.  Not to shabby considering all that I have been eating and Thanksgiving I am proud of that number still.  And I found a perk for not hosting Thanksgiving. NO leftovers!!!  If I had leftovers I would have had a bigger problem not over eating for thanksgiving.  Today was a struggle with eating. I hadn't planned out my points like I had for the last 3 days and I over did it.  I am hoping to maintain at my weight this week.  The next couple days are going to be full of fruits, veggies, lean protein and water. Lots and lots of water!

Preparing For Thanksgiving & weigh in

Like I mentioned in my last post I have a big long weekend ahead starting with tomorrow, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day centered around: giving Thanks for all we have. This is the one day of the year where people plan to eat until they’re sick. We wear loose fitting pants because we know we are going to eat too much.  Are we Thankful for the food we have access to? Of course we are but we treat this day as if its purpose is to worship food. I am not demeaning the importance of our Holiday meals together as a family, I just think we really need to take a step back from the glutton-fest it has seem to become.  When I was buying my turkey the recommendation was that I purchase a pound & a half per guest! OK, let’s say while cooking the Turkey loses that half pound per serving during the cooking process, they are still recommending 16 oz of turkey per person!  Is this a marketing ploy or is it really what we find acceptable and needed?  My turkey serving I have planned for Thanksgiving is 6 oz and I thought that was allot.  I can imagine eating 16 oz of turkey.   I was up late calculating my points for my Thanksgiving meal. I will be weighing and measuring my food and tracking every bite.  I am going to be able to eat my Thanksgiving dinner with out that guilt feeling afterwards. WW gives me 26 points a day and my Thanksgiving meal is 25 points. Good news is I have access to all my weekly points for this weekend as well so I have my extra 49 to pull from for the other meals during the day. 

The next two days will also include eating out for every meal. I don’t know where we will be eating out each meal but I know a few so I went ahead and plugged those in and then for the meals I was unsure of I reserved blocks of points. For example: on Friday night I know we’ll be eating at a buffet so I reserved 20 points for that alone. I literally have all my points written down for Thur-Sat, as close as I could guess they would be.   I feel totally confident in my plans for this weekend. I am not worried about “blowing” my diet or feeling so guilty & down I just give up. Speaking of tracking and not feeling guilty let’s get to today’s weigh in!

This morning’s weigh in came in at -2.8!!!!!!!!!!!!  That makes a total of 12 lbs since I joined in April and the majority (put pouds here) of this was since I did my Advocare cleanse almost 3 months ago. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this excited about losing under 3 lbs.  But I am thrilled. The scale is SO close to the 160’s I can taste it.  This week I tracked everything! I enjoyed going out with my hubby and eating a philly cheese steak sandwich, fires and a brownie for dessert. I went out to my boy’s favorite restaurant and was able to find something that fit into my daily points. I enjoy my favorite evening snack of popcorn EVERY night! I always think back about how after the first couple weeks of tracking again in WW I always brag about how wonderful the plan is and how I am not deprived and how doable it is. It baffles me that so many times in the past I give up.  I feel the difference this time is going to be the fact that I am prepared for low weight loss under a pound. I am actually measuring, weighing and tracking every bite. And the biggest difference of all is I am being honest with myself. I can’t lie to myself about the effort I’ve put into dieting in the past. I know anything I put my mind to I succeed. In the past I have chosen to listen to that little voice inside my head that tells me: I’m not worth it, that I followed the plan and gained weight (knowing I over ate), you deserve a break or the biggest lie of all: you can be happy & healthy this way. 

I am very happy with my life, I am truly blessed! But my body needs me to be healthy, my family needs me healthy, I need me healthy and I don’t care what you think if you are overweight you are not healthy.  You may say “But I have no medical issues, my Dr says I’m healthy.” I am calling BS! I know I’ve said this before but just because you may not have anything that requires medication yet doesn’t make you healthy. Keep on this road and you will need medication.  I believe once you take the “I want to be thin/skinny” out of the vocabulary and change it to I want to be healthy something in your thinking changes.  A common saying when you as a Mom to be do you want a boy or girl is it doesn’t matter as long as he or she is healthy. We worry about our kids health before they are even, and yet somehow we believe the lie that it is ok for us to be unhealthy.  I challenge you to change the belief that it is ok to not live a healthy life style. I will get off my soap box now, but isn’t that kind of what a blog is your own virtual soapbox?? LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Plan and be prepared and you can enjoy even more than your relative that is unbuttoning their pants and rubbing their belly saying they need just a little bit longer before they have pie.  You can have your pie and enjoy it too. Make good choices do indulge in your favorites but measure your portions to keep you from over indulging.

It seems like I've been doing this forever

Tonight my thoughts moved to my diet and I felt like I've been doing WW forever.  What have my last 3 weeks back on WW been like? I then came to a reality that though it's been 3 weeks since I posted my before pics and measurements, my real first week back on WW started Nov 12th. My weigh in on Nov 19th resulted in only a .8 weight loss and I had to be honest with myself about the fact that I was negative about 30 points for that week so I am lucky there wasn't gain!  This is the first week I am tracking and actually adhering to my daily and weekly points.  Really I can look at this as week one.  All this being said, my feeling like I've been doing this forever wasn't a negative one this time around.  It was more of a yeah I know I'll be doing this forever and I think I'm going to be ok with that.  WW does teach the correct way to eat for the rest of your life. When I hit maintenance it will be slightly different. I'll get to eat a little more than while losing but I will continue with the whole method that I can splurge a little and when I work out I need to fuel my body with some extra calories.  When I look at my future I think about how I'll be to a point one day where because it is Thanksgiving this week I go out a run a few miles to burn the calories to compensate for the extra food I will eat.  This is the correct way to live with food.

At my average weight loss in the past of 5 lbs a month it'll take me 10 months to reach goal and honestly it may take a little longer. As much as I've always dreaded the idea of it take a year to lose my weight I am coming to grips with that.  There is a chance I could lose it faster but I need to go into this thinking a year. No quick fixes just commitment to a the change and the goal.  No thinking well it won't take a year so I can put this off. Not this may take a year and I need to treat it as such.  I feel confident and good about this plan and that is the first time ever.

Not feeling guilty

This morning my scale had a number on it I had not seen in a long time. I was pretty excited and I am hoping the downward trend will continue until weigh in next week. I had a goal to be in the 160's by Thanksgiving and I don't care if it is 169.9 I want to be in the 160's.  I haven't been able to lose weight to get into the range in 3 years!  I planned out my points for the day and then the day when awry.   Due to a change in plans cooking dinner was out of the question and the restaurant of choice for the boys was Red Robin. I thought no problem I can get a burger with out a bun and be good. I spent a good half hour before we left calculating points and trying to figure out what I could eat.  My go to items I order that I thought was safe end up way higher than I expected in points.  My favorite Crispy chicken salad is 32 points and that is w/o cheese or bread.  My chicken burger with out a bun is 12 and that is just for the burger, no side salad.  I finally found a salad for 6 points.  It is called the Simply Grilled chicken salad.  I took off the cheese and croutons and it comes up to 6 points. Add an extra point or two for dressing I keep on the side and dip my fork into. When we got there I smelled all the food and I really am tempted to get the fried zucchini appetizer which is only 6 points as well, but I was worried that I would be very hungry later and then dip into negative points because I was so hungry.  I decided to be good and order my salad. It was good, I was full and I didn't have a hit of guilt afterwards.

My eating has surrounded by guilt for a very long time. I feel depressed, upset, frustrated, sad, happy so I eat junk food then I feel guilting and that guilt makes me feel bad and so I repeat my cycle.  I told my hubby that I am full & not full of guilt.  My hubby told me he was proud that I stuck to it when I didn't want to.  I managed to not even eat one fry.  I even touched one twice but both times made the choice to not partake. Feeling really hopeful this week and not doing to shabby either.

I haven't done this in almost 8 years….

In the last two days I spent all my weekly points I had. Between a date night at Cinnebar to see the Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1& going to Starbucks for Breakfast and Mexican for dinner the day before, they are gone!  But this was all knowing and planned. I figured it is better to spend my weekly points earlier. Now I have to be strict the rest of the week. The thought of that stresses me a little but I feel this is the better way to oporate. I went grocery shopping and today I spent hours doing something I haven't done in almost 8 years. I portioned and labeled EVERYTHING!! When I was on LA Weight loss and lost 30 lbs about 8 years ago, every time I'd go shopping I'd come home and put everything in baggies w/ the correct portion sizes. This time I not only portioned somethings out but I labeled how many points are in everything in my house!!!

labels in the fridge

I spent hours scanning all the foods in my cupboards and looking up foods that live in my fridge. My fridge has some good zero points options. :-)  Then I grabbed my go to snacks and portioned them out and into baggies for easy on the go snacks with out the; well I think thats about a serving. This was very informative and I found that I have been misjudging some of my snack portions.

Snacks good to go!

Because of the cold weather I've been wanting soup for lunch at work and so I went and got a bunch of progresso light soups that have the point plus values right on them. So I was writing them on top of the cans.  I thought Oh chili sounds good too. So I grabbed my favorite can of chili.

My favorite chili vs Progresso Light Soup

The Progresso soup is only 4 PP for the ENTIRE can!! then scanned my chili to get the PP value for that and O_O, Check it out for your self….

16 PP vs 4 PP! O_O

That can of Chili is 16 PP for the can!!!  I wrote NO on the top incase I get tempted.  And to think not that long ago for me to make a small tray of fries then cover them we cheese and chili and that would be dinner. We area talking about one meal being around probably 30 points and I only get 26 a day.  I know this did wonders about 8 years ago and yet I've postponed doing this for 8 years.  Not sure if it was because I felt I know enough and didn't need to do it or if I didn't want to really be aware and have to admit how much I was eating.

Today's weigh in...

After realizing that I didn't stick to my points this week I didn't have high hopes for my weigh in and even thought about not going. BUT I was unable to go last week and will not be able to go next week. To keep myself accountable I went.  The scale went into the right direction at least. Down .8 lbs and after realized how many points I was negative I'll take it.  Even after not the greatest week last week I feel ready and determined this week. We have Thanksgiving next week so I need to get a good start on next week this week.  I know where I went wrong last week. The 22 points of lemonade really wasted almost half of my weekly points.

Since April I've lost 9.2 lbs which means that I've lost 5% of my total weight. The next goal is 10%. That is another 9 lbs away.  My weight loss goal is 1.25 lbs a week/ 5 lbs a month.  I am in the mind set that I am doing great if I can lose only 5 lbs a month.  It is very realistic and attainable.  In true weigh in tradition I splurged today.  I think using the bulk of my weekly points at the beginning of the week is better than the end.  So lots more fruit & veggies this week.

Being brutally honest with myself….

Today I was super frustrated with the sale. My first official week back tracking on WW & I was losing and now I am gaining.  I was so hopeful for a 10 lbs weight loss at my WW meeting this week and then hopefully break into the 160's (according to my scale at home that differs from WW by 1.6 lbs) by Thanksgiving.  This morning when the scale read almost 3 lbs heavier than a few days prior I was annoyed. I thought how unfair this is that I've been dieting this week and seeing a gain.  I then reigned in my thoughts and said no I will be good today and keep on going because quitting isn't going to get me to my goal any faster. As I was sulking I thought well I didn't track EVERYTHING, there were some things I left out figuring they were fine based on the points I had eaten earlier that day.  I decided I needed to be brutally honest with myself. I sat down and tracked EVERYTHING that I had missed. These were mainly dinners and evenings snacks for two days and some Lemonade that I am obsessed with.  This lemonade alone was 11 points per bottle. And I drank two bottles in two days. 11 points is almost half my daily points.  I sat down and tracked it ALL. I am negative about 30 points for this week. The truth isn't fun but I can realize that I did screw up. knowing if my points were where they should have been I would have continued losing.  Track it all people it keeps you honest and you can realize why you're getting the results you are getting.

Every inch of you is perfect…….

A very popular song right now is "All about that base" by: Meghan Trainor.  Incase you don't know the song, it is about how it's ok to have curves and not to worry about your size because  "Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top".  There is power in those words.  I sing them at the top of my lungs in my car. LOL!

I've heard over and over and OVER again that you need to love your self the way you are now. It isn't that you can't lose weight not loving your self. But they say if you don't love you now you won't love you after the weight is gone either.  I used to think these people were nuts.  I can never love my body right now because I can't stand the way it looks or how it makes me feel.  After I read "Choose to Lose" by Chris Powell it started to sink in.  In a previous blog I reviewed the book (see it HERE).  For a quick refresher in the beginning he explains our bodies as machines and about how our fat is a perfect example of our machine working. He said that it our fat is proof that our machine is "beautifully efficient". That book really helps to change your thinking and I highly recommend it.  I had really forgotten about it until today and I was returning to those thoughts. Realizing that when I learned that my fat is a product of my perfect working body I was able to put aside how I felt about my fat.  Now don't get me wrong I still hate it but I need to remember it doesn't define me.

Looking back on what my body has accomplished and my body is truly amazing.  It has gone from non runner to runner. It has fought against the family history of Type 2 Diabietes (so far), in spite of my eating habits.  It has allowed me to stretch my thinking by proving my brain wrong. The most amazing thing my body has done is been the home to new life as my boys developed for 9 months.

I have a long way to go to reach my goal but the long way is the only good way to get there. Taking short cuts never work out. I have taking more time that I needed to get going but I feel that I am truly fixing my thinking and that is how you keep the weight off.

Let's do this!!

So today went pretty well. I insisted my hubby to help remind me to track my points each day. So he has a reminder in his phone and it worked. He reminded me and I sat down and tracked everything I ate that day. I had forgotten to put my paper tracker in my purse. So I found my point books and my tracker so since I can no longer have my phone out at work I can look up point values while at work. I had typed up a blog post at work today but have decided not to post it. So this one is just short and sweet. Just checking in and keeping with my plan that to help me stay accountable to my self. I think I might keep a word doc and just jot my thoughts every day and then take the best of them and post them once or twice a week. Cause I am sure you all don't want a bunch of short blog post every day. :-)

Changing punish to blessed

"Change happens the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change."  This quote rings true over and over again. This morning as I struggled to find something to wear that fit ok and wasn't to tight, I was reminded of this quote.  Has my pain of staying the same finally greater than the pain of change? That says allot because I really don't like change. However now almost 2 months into my meds I am able to keep my logic about me and my emotions in check. So that should take care of the emotional eating. Now it is just taking down the stubbornness inside that feels like this is a punishment. Like I said yesterday I do have to do the time for the crimes of eating crap all these years, however punishment by definition is something that makes someone suffer. To say that I am suffering because I am eating healthy is ridiculous! I a blessed to be able to eat healthy. Blessed to be able to afford healthy foods, blessed to have easy access to these foods. I am blessed to be able to run and work out.  Changing the word punishment to blessed is quite powerful.

This morning I was asking myself: What am I willing to do to lose weight?

Am I willing to give up fast food?
                                 Yes
Am I willing to give up candy?
                                 Yes
Am I willing to track what I eat?
                                  Yes

Simply tracking my foods means I am keeping w/ in my points which EVERY TIME I start weight watchers I write about how I can't believe it works and how it doesn't feel like dieting. (see previous blog posts HERE & HERE) And yet I rebel and it is always because I resort to fat food or candy.  If you look at the next couple blog posts after my pervious success on WW they start talking about lacking of tracking, I ate a few extra points this week, I didn't measure my food, etc…. Even with the holidays approaching I know that WW is totally doable . I will not be abel to attend my meeting this week because my work schedule was changed due to the holiday. So I am going to find my tracking notebook and start tracking tomorrow. I don't think I am going to do the simple start but I need to start measuring & tracking. I know what to do and the pain of staying the same is just to much lately.

Punishment

This week as I struggled and out right refused to eat healthy. I wondered what on earth is wrong with me??  I know I need & want to lose weight, I know eating healthy is the key to get there.  Its like I am sitting in my car and insisting I am going to start it w/ my house key.   Of course I then head into victim territory stating things like it's not fair I can't eat things I want to eat, why does this have to be so difficult for me?   We all know that eating junk food isn't good for you and we eat it out frustration, emotions and because we think it's not fair that others can and we can't.  Today I realized I view eating healthy as a punishment. It seems like everything I figure out one metal view issue w/ diets and food then I find another one. They must be hiding under each layer and as I remove one I find the next one.

No one enjoys punishment. We will try to do anything and everything to avoid it. Maybe that is another reason I am so stubborn about eating what I want even if it's not on my diet.  I view it as a punishment for my crimes. All the years of eating crap now I must be punished for years to reverse the damage.  And to a certain point I do have to pay my time. I didn't gain weight overnight, it may feel like I did but I didn't. But I need to approach this as a discipline not a punishment. Punishment is something that makes someone suffer for something they have done. Discipline helps the person solve the problem.  I've written about discipline before (HERE) as it relates to willpower and that it comes from self discipline. Another mental view I need to change. The great thing about digging so deep into my brain and how I process everything and think about everything is that when I lose weight I should have all the mental problems solved and not return to the weight I was before.

Shut up legs!!

It seems more normal than not to have limited thinking on what we are capable of doing.  It effects every area of our lives. Mainly it effects things that could make us better people. Things that get in our way of achieving our goals, dreams and God given potential.  Tonight at my MK meeting my Director and mentor asked us; if any of us have been involved in something physical, like a sport, that we had the choice to stop but we pushed thru and kept going when we didn't think we could? And in results of that pushing through did more than we expected.  I thought about my top 3 moments I listed in my Races in Review. Each of them are a direct result of me saying Shut up legs and shut up brain! Overpowering the thoughts that are screaming at you to stop. The ones telling you that you can't do this, reminding you that you've never done this before.  And yet you push through! You accomplish something that 30 seconds ago was impossible to you.  Why then can we break through belief barriers in certain areas of our lives but not in all?  I then realized that the same process I take when I am pushing for that fastest mile is what needs to happen to get me past all these other areas that have me hung up in life.  I almost had to pick my jaw up off the ground.  Being involved in sports and being very competitive, needing the extra push for anything physical is something I understand needs to be done. Weight lifting is where I learned the most about it.  I learned that my body is more capable that my brain tells me it is and I can and will make my muscles lift that weight. 

I've had a beliefe that everything from eating right, sticking to my spending, to getting up early was all a emotional battle. I over ate and over spent because I was in a bad mood, etc..  But it is ALL just as much a physical battle as running my 10K was.  My brain tells my legs they need to stop, this is to far, I then start to look for reasons to validate the need to stop running. I start feeling pain in places I really hadn't noticed a few seconds before, my chest tightens and I start to panic a little. I then have to take a breath and tell my legs they are fine and my brain that I am not listening and clear my mind.  If I took this same process when getting up early, eating right, not spending money and so much more, I could have the same amazing results.  My alarm goes off I think Oh it is to early, I am tired and my brain starts to remind me of how late I stayed up, if I took the breath told my mind to shut up and my legs to move and get out of that bed, I would be up early. Literally EVERYTHING can be approached and conquered with a shut up brain and move command. Whether that is to move away from the fridge, onto the treadmill or out the door to conquer your tasks for the day. 

Because of my struggles with anxiety and depression my mind has always been a war zone between crazy illogical thoughts and the truth. This battle keeps me trapped and non motivated to do things.  I've always enjoyed exercise because of the ability to push through things. I've always seen my mind as Fragile  and always try to proceed with caution.  Now my bodies limits I have always viewed differently. Thanks to previous training w/ personal trainers I know my body can take more that I think it can and that is how you get stronger.  I need to start treating all this stuff I've always labeled as emotional as a physical event as well and treat it accordingly. Knowing full well that my body is able to do the things I want it to do.  The key will be to not fall back into the belief that they don't have anything to do with one another. Both need to be address to have success and go outside of your comfort zone.  If you conquer the mental with out the physical  you maybe motivated to work out but never actually do it. If you address just the physical you may get up and move toward your goal but will stop way before you are where you could be just because your brain has come up with an excuse for you to stop.  Everyone take a deep breath, clear you mind of the reasons you can't and tell those legs to move and run towards your goal.

Why is change so hard???

Today my work schedule changed from a M-F 12:30-5:30 shift that I hated to a much better shift of 8-2:30 w/ Wed off!  I get to pick my kids up from school and have a day off during the week, this is a very good change. Yet this morning I was filled with anxiety! I could't believe it I was so anxious about the fact that I wasn't going to be brining my kids to school anymore and that I have to get up early. This shift solves so many stresses I was having with my Mom for my childcare. This is better all around but I was freaking out this morning and most of the day. Today at work I was trying to calm myself realizing this anxiety was just silly because this is a good change. I felt the stirring in my gut that this was a Ah-ha moment.  I've been wanting to lose weight and change my eating habits for the better. I have all these reasons I say "I know" that hold me back. Lack of self worth, fear of failure, lack of control. I've addressed these in previous blog post and came to conclusions that 1. being a better me is the best way to get my self worth back,  2. The rewards far out weight the any failure or set back I may run into & I am in control and need to grab that control and stop letting food control me. All this is well and good and yet I am not doing what I want & need to be doing to reach my goals.  Could the real root of all this be my strong aversion to change?

If I can, I avoid change. I like things to stay the same, it feels safe. For the last about year and a half our lives have been only constant change. Between hubby's business trips,  job changes, schedule changes from week to week, my work changing my schedules now, having to put my dog down, DS1 having trouble in school last year and this school year realizing we have some work ahead of us to help him, DS2 starting preschool and had a very hard time with it at first.  The only thing I could control and not change is what I ate.  Yes it may have derived from feeling a loss of control but that feeling came from all the change we've been experiencing. I shrunk back, stopped reaching for my dreams or goals because I wanted to feel safe and have the constant change stop! In this last year and a half I haven't been on meds until my break down in Sept.  Now almost two months into my meds, it truly is like a fog has lifted and I can always see clearer.

As much as I hate change it is a necessary evil. It sucks but I need to suck it up. The next 3 months no ones schedule is going to change. DH has a a new regular schedule w/ his new job, my job is set in store for the next 3 months, the boys are in school and doing well in school. And we are entering "the most wonderful time of the year"!!!! I love everything about Nov & Dec. The family time, shopping, crafts, baking, wrapping & giving.   Feeling very positive tonight. Feeling empowered to take the next 3 months by storm.

Wanting to run...

It has been week since my 10K and it is kind of driving me crazy that I am not running this weekend.

I am under instructions to only do 30 min walks and other cross training but the bounce of running is a no no for the next couple weeks.  As much as I've acknowledged the desperate need for cross training and how this will help my running, I DON"T WANNA!  It seems much easier to just get on my treadmill and run for a bit.  Tomorrow starts the change in my work schedule and my goal of getting up super early to get in my work outs and I have to start by getting everything ready for tomorrow tonight. I am trying to bring order and organization to my evenings and mornings.   Before the boys go to bed my goal is to have all our clothing picked out for the next day including my work out clothes. And that way in the morning I don't have to think. All the thinking will have been done the night before. Tomorrow I hope to do weights w/ walking treadmill intervals. We've all been battling a cold in this house and I've been up until 2 & 3 in the morning the last two nights unable to sleep. Of course this is all coming on the weekend before I need to start getting to work early.  I told hubby of course I can't sleep and the kids are sick, it's because I am trying to become a morning person.  

This years races in review

At Weight Watchers yesterday they asked people for something positive that happened last week. So I raised my hand and shared that I completed my first 10K and received, gasps, cheering, and  a round of applause. My WW leader then asked me if earlier this year when I joined if she had told me that by Oct I would have completed a 10K and signed up for a half marathon, what would you have said?  I would have told her she was crazy and that I don't run.  April 27th, 2014 was day 5 of being back on Weight Watches and Day one of the C25K program.  I had signed up for the Warrior Dash a second time and the Color Run.  Now 6 months later I have completed 8 event 5K's and a 10K. And yet I find myself feeling defeated on what I haven't accomplished this year. But reflecting on the year I am realizing that  8 5K's and a 10K is quite the accomplishment!  And I have every right to be proud of this year and my activity during it. With no other races scheduled for the year I thought this would be an appropriate time for a race review for the year.  The names are link to the blog post about the each of the runs.

May 11, 2014 Mother's Day   THE COLOR RUN

First 5K of the year, I was so scared.  Only 2 weeks into my C25K training.  My BFF said she could see the fear in my face. It was a great atmosphere and very fun. Lots more walking than running it wasn't a timed event we guessed that we did it in & originally my BFF guessed like 40-45 mins. When I looked I thought it was closer to 50 mins.  Looking back & knowing what a 45 min 5K takes now I am 99.9% sure it was around 50-55 mins. I did allot of walking.  But this is the race that started all the madness.

June 1, 2014     RACE FOR THE CURE

Due to a loss in BFF's family we ended up with a HUGE team of non runners. This was the same course we had just completed with the color run but we walked no running this time.

June 16, 2014  BEACH TO CHOWDER

This was the run with my fastest mile to date.  I did mile 2 in 9:40!! Crazy!!! But this was the last run I did where I had consistently been training.  I had been running the C25K 3 days a week for 5 weeks and it really made a big difference.  After this race I slowed down training and never quite got back to a solid 5 weeks. This race was on sand & a true battle between my mind and body took place during this one.  After I found out how fast I did that mile, no one could take that from me it was amazing!!

Aug 24, 2014  RUN A MUK

This one I did w/ my Mom and it was pretty difficult. The first half had hills & a steady incline. There was the lack of training and sever shin pain in my right leg. This is the run that gave me the final push I needed to get my butt to the running store for some real running shoes. 

Sept 6, 2014   THE WARRIOR DASH

Such mixed feelings about this race. The previous year this race caused such a mind shift and it was so much fun.  This time around there were such extreme Highs and extreme lows, laughter and tears. My lungs were on fire there was so much dust and pollen and w/o taking my allergy pill or using my inhaler I was miserable. I was going so slow.  All the people that came with us waiting for me over and over again. DH stayed by my side and helped me deal with the couple panic attacks I had on some of the later hills we came to. But I took on that wall that I fell off of last year like it was nothing!! That was such a proud moment for me. 

Sept 13, 2014   SLIME RUN

Pretty laid back 5K, BFF sister joined us and had broken her foot not to long before so they walked most of it. I ran some of it and waited for them here and there. It was a fun race. 

Oct 4, 2014   NEON RUN

This was my first night 5K and it was fun. I was hit with shin pain in my  left leg, I had never had shin pain in it and washing sure why it was happening and it REALLY hurt.   This ended up being my FASTEST 5K to date!!! 43:40!!! I was super thrilled with that time. I was on a runners high all the way home and wearing glow gear, playing drums on my steering wheel. while I drove over about an hour in the dark to get home.  

Oct 12, 2014  BIGGEST LOSER RUN/WALK

This was DH birthday and he agreed to run with me. My Mom came out to run too.  Total 5K time 50:57! SLOWEST since the color run.  Major shin pain in the same leg that started in the Neon Run. It was very cool seeing some of the people from the Biggest Loser. Having them cheer you on really did make you feel special. :-)

Oct 26, 2014  SNOHOMISH RIVER RUN 10K

This was my first 10K and I am very proud with my results.  It was amazing the pace they said I kept of 13:02. I still think their math has to be off. ;-)  Finding out I was able to run 6.2 miles in basically and hour and a half is AH-MAZING!!  

Pics from all races in order :-)

Now as a special treat for my blog readers a peek into reality.  The pics you see are always the happy ones. The ones where I am making sure I have a smile on my face. Well, the pics from the 10K are up and there are a pic I didn't share in my previous blog post but I've decided to share it.  Brace yourself it isn't pretty, my face says it all.

Yep I look like I am dying LOL!!!

This pic comes between these two.

I was focusing on my feet, then I looked up & I realized there was a camera, so I  was like crap I better smile. LOL!! It doesn't get anymore truthful than that people.  I can promise you while I run that: not pretty face of focus and no smiles is what I have one 98% of the time.  DH said it best when he said NO ONE looks good running. And we'll finish with the pic of BFF & I literally just had crossed the finish line. You can see the sweat glistening on our faces. 

Top Favorite Race Moments:  Fastest mile at the Beach to Chowder

                                                Fastes 5K at the Neon Run

                                                Completing my first 10K

Weigh in, measurements and before pics...

Just a little under 18 weeks until I am 35.  I am proud to say that I did make it to my weigh in and had my Mom take my measurements and before pics.  The next 30 days I am going to stick to it and see what can happen.  As you saw in my last post I am taking a break from running. But I am going to do some yoga, weigh lifting and riding my bike on the trainer. So Still working out goal of 4-5 times a week just allot different than the running 3 times a week I've done in the past.  I am looking forward to gaining strength and stamina with my cross training for the next couple months.

So Here it goes…..  Weight Watchers scale is 1.6 lbs heavier than my scale at home but that is what my ticker is based on. Since April when I signed up for Weigh Watchers I am down 8. lbs.

Weight 175.4
Measurements in inches:

Chest: 46
Waist: 44 1/2 (right above the belly button)
Hips: 48
R Bicep: 14
L Bicep: 14 1/2
R Thigh: 23 3/4
L Thigh: 24
R Calf: 14 3/4
L Calf: 15

Before pics: If you've seen my other before pics you know I believe in smiling in my before pics.

I am back on the simple start/simply filling plan for the first week or two. For lunch today I am having one of my favorite meals on simple start and it is a baked potato, w/ low fat cheese and steamed broccoli.

I am sucker for anything potato.  I haven't gotten dinner figured out yet but normally I like to go with a taco salad because of all the yummy flavors it provides. Eating things that are packed w/ happy flavors I enjoy help me not feel like I am dieting.  So far so good today. :-)

My first 10K!!!!!

It has been a few days and I am still kind of in awe that I ran 6.2 miles on Sunday. Now don't picture me running the whole thing! I ran/walked it, which has always been my running plan of action.  Before Sunday the furthest I've ran was a 5K and then I decided well let's just double that. I had a training plan that was going to have me run 5 miles before it came time for the 10K but with injury I really wasn't able to stick to it.

Before the 10K

The first couple of miles are always so hard for me. I was struggling w/ pain and my BFF wanting to go faster. I told her to go ahead of me. At mile 2 she decided to take me up on my offer and went ahead of me. I felt like I was holding her back and even though trying to keep up with her pushes me. My legs still don't know how to be as long as hers. :-) She was worried I wouldn't finish and made me promise that I wouldn't cut corners or quit. It surprised me that she thought I would quit.  No matter what the run  we have done I have never said let's just stop. Once you start you kind of have to finish it. It's not like I am on my treadmill at home and am able to just get off, I have to get back to my car at the start line. Her thoughts and concerns might have stemmed from the fact that I don't say very positive things while I am running. LOL!! If someone asks how are you doing I am going to say what hurts and why this sucks at this moment. She is very much the cheerleader when we run and I am like this sucks, this hurts, why are we doing this.  When she went ahead that took the weight off me, from feeling like I was holding her back, and it was just me and the road. There were many times I had to remind myself not to focus on anyone anywhere else in the race. Just to run my own race and focus. The first goal was get to the half way point. 

Turn around point.

Not the best pic of  but it was half way so defiantly time for a selfie.  This is at the 5K point at this point I had never ran further than this.  At this point some of the half marathoners that left only a short 15 mins before me, were passing me.  Some of them sounded like they were dying!  I am not kidding the amount of noises coming from the ones that pass me shortly after the turn around quite painful sounding.  But if I had just ran 10 miles in the same time it took me to run 3, I think they have every right to be making those noises. Thanks to all the people passing me, I went from being in the very back of the pack to having tons of people around me. It was actualy nice to be joined by the half marathoners, even if only for the 2 secs it took them to pass me. :-) As the miles went on my running intervals became shorter and my walking ones longer but the pain I was dreading really wasn't there.  That horrible shin pain I had at the Biggest Loser 5K was gone.  I thank my Chiropractor for this, he put my hip back where it should be.

The last mile was the toughest.  I knew the finish line was coming as we got close to town again and I could hear cheering and music. But I felt like I should be done already, probably because this is so much further than a 5K. I crossed over the bridge, this is about a quarter mile or so to go, and I say ok run to the finish you can do this.  By the time I rounded the corner to see the finish line, I wanted to walk so bad. The conversation in my mind went something like this:  I need to walk, just for a second…Are you kidding you can see the finish line?!?! This is not the time for walking, RUN!  And run I did. It wasn't a sprint like at the Biggest Loser but it was a steady pace.  BFF was waiting for me at the finish line and took some pics.

Focusing on my feet, even at the finish line

FINISH!!!

It was a really good run and we want to do it again next year.  It was completely flat and that made for the best first 10K I could have asked for.  I mean I have felt worse after certain 5K's in comparison to how I felt at the end of this 10K.  They took pics on the race that I will be able to download later this week, I hope. I asked my BFF how long she had been waiting and she said only about 5 mins and I was like REALLY???? My garmin watch was not charged, epic fail I know, so I had no idea what my pace was.  I told her well the clock said 1hr and 50mins. She said that couldn't be right because she was at 1 hour and 20 something so I must have looked at the half marathon clock. So I waiting for the official results to be posted. And when they were I was more than surprised.  Finish time 1:33:50 at a pace of 13:02!! O_O  I don't know how the math works because I figured it should be a bit slower than that but this time is so official I could submit it to Run Disney for my placement for the TinkerBell Half, and I am considering it cause it would technically buy me more time. But that is another topic for another day.

Incredibly proud of my BFF and I for completing this even with the injury issues we've both had. Now we take a break from running to fix our issues. I will be focusing on cross training big time so that when it comes time to start running again I won't be reliving the feeling like I am going to die feeling.  I did do some icing the night after the run. My muscles where wondering what on earth I did to them. However only a couple days later and my muscles are doing great!

with our medals

Tomorrow will be that restart I had talked about last week but didn't work because of the lack of prep. I went to the store and I am good to go for Weight Watchers simple start, weigh in, measurements and before pics will take place tomorrow as well. Wish me luck.

Injured and with out food….

Well getting started like I planned didn't quite happen yet but it will!!! I've been having sever pain in my hip where so much so my hubby says I sound like I am having a baby.  I have to ice it and it feels like it is on fire. Just like my left shin when I've been running. So I finally get myself to the Chiropractor like I know I should have done quite some time ago. And yeah I have a new injury! Really??? Come on!!!  The good news is, that it is completely fixable and preventable in the future.  My S1 nerve in my hip is very mad at me. My chiropractor said that normally with consistent activity the tissues break down heal and get stronger just like nay muscle. Well when you push to hard or are not consistent you can hurt it to much. So all this pain started at the Neon run.  When I was stretching before the run I felt pain in my hip and couldn't understand why. Then I suffered major pain during that run and during the Biggest Loser run the next weekend. My Chiro HIGHLY recommended that I don't do the 10K this weekend. My BFF is also suffering from hip pain so we decided we will still do it but we will walk it.  And it is going to be raining. So we are going for a 6 mile walk in the rain. Not what we had planned but it'll be a good visual of how long it takes to walk almost half of a half.

So with this apt and my oldest Dentist apt I didn't make it to Weight Watchers to weigh in. I didn't make it to my grocery store to get the food I need for my simple start. SO now I am torn between starting on like Monday or waiting until Wed for weigh in day.  I can't start any later than next Wed because I want to be done with my 30 days before Thanksgiving. Not that I am planning to over eat but just so that I can know if I use all my weekly points in two days I can stay on track after that.

Thanksgiving weekend we have fun plans. My parents are just coming back into town late on Thanksgiving and so I am not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year. So we will be going to my in laws to enjoy her yummy turkey. Then I will do some day after Thanksgiving shopping and the next day and night is a Hubby and me day.  We are going to have an us day seeing Mocking Jay part 1 and then shopping and an overnight away. Then the next day we hope to finish our Christmas shopping.  So I really would like that to kind of be a reward of a weekend.  The 30 days is still the plan but I just need to be prepared to start it, hoping to make it to the grocery store this weekend. Maybe I'll start Monday...

Terrified….

Because the words: nervous, anxious and scared don't quite get the point across about how I feel about this 30 day challenge, let me state that I am TERRIFIED!! Why???? This isn't a new thought process, this isn't a new diet, or even something extreme. This feeling is coming from the fear of repeating the past. The past of when I've said I am going to do this for 30 days and by day 10 already failed.

I hopes to break this feeling I started thinking about the things I've heard and know about fear.
-The Bible says Fear Not more than 365 times. I could a Fear Not verse everyday for a year and still not have read all of them. I kind of thing God is trying to tell us something. ;-)
-The only way to conquer fear is with action
-A common acronym for fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real
-And probably my all-time favorite quotes about fear:
      "Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not a present and may not ever exist.  That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice." -Will Smith (after-earth)

"Fear is not real……Fear is a choice"   it is true danger is real and we should protect ourselves from that be fear isn't. Is what I am going to be doing dangerous? Nope not at all. Dieting and working out is a good thing no danger involved at all. So there truly is nothing to fear.  The attempt to better your self isn't a scary thing.  It should be positive and something to be embraced.  Change can be hard but it should never be feared.

19 to 35….

Only 19 weeks until I turn 35. So let me explain how I feel about birthdays. For those of you who don't know, I believe that birthdays are everyone's personal holiday in honor of them! They should be celebrated for at least a whole weekend, if not a week! ;-) So, birthdays are a BIG deal for me, yet since turning 30 every birthday since has had me thinking about where I am not and what I have not done since my last birthday. Every birthday I say that by my next birthday I am going to have lost weight and be healthy. Seriously, you can check my past blog birthday posts.  Anywhoo, so here we are 19 weeks/133 days until I am 35.

Since my last birthday I have completed the C25K & finished the Advocare cleanse, but in true me fashion, I come to a screeching halt once I have a little success. I have this cycle where I am like: I am awesome; I'm doing so well, I deserve a break or treat. Then a few weeks later, I am still on that break and have lost any, or almost all, of my progress I may have made.  My breaks/treats normally included just sitting on my ass watching TV and stuffing my face.  Even when I lost a ton of weight with LA Weight Loss, I cheated the first 3 days after weigh in and then spent the remaining 4 days trying to re-lose what I had gained back.  When I run any more I find my self thinking: why on earth am I doing this?? I just find myself wishing it was over and that I wasn't doing it. But if I look back to when I was running consistently, I enjoyed it, it felt good, I was getting stronger and faster.  It all comes down to consistency.

I always catch myself wondering what would happen if I put everything I had into this? No cheating just being as awesome as I know I can be? Then I think there is no need to wonder. I know that if I gave it my all I would succeed, no if ands or buts about it.  Part of me is dying to Just Do It, like Nike says, but I am so scared to fail yet again.  I have the all the tools I  need. I have no excuses not to do this. I need to take the next 30 days and be the best me that I can be. "To push my limits and break through" (Frozen tribute)

THE CHALLENGE

I am going challenge myself to be the best me I can be and truly give this my all for the next 30 days. I invite anyone to join me, if you're looking to lose weight it is FREE to join weight watchers until Saturday this week.  I am going to redo my simple start starting on Wed. Doing this means my whole meal plan is already set up for me w/ simple start. I am a paper geek. Even with all the technology we have today I still like to write things down with a pen and paper. I got a little calendar and I have written all my daily goals on each day.

My daily goals are:

               

1. Read my vision statement & do my devotions. To remind me of why I am doing this and to keep my brain in the right place.

2. Adhere to my training schedule, so I will be running 3 times a week and cross training twice a week w/ two rest days

3. Take my vitamins and meds every day

4. Track all my food every day

5. Drink half my body weight in oz in water every day. (140lb person should drink 70oz of water a day)

6. Blog, to keep myself accountable and to keep you all in the loop

My 30 day challenge starts on Oct 22nd and goes through Nov 21st. Reaching the 30 days will not mean I get to come to my screeching halt but it will show me what is possible and what I am capable of. I will take my measurements & before pics tomorrow and post them. *GULP* So if any of you don't want to see me in my spandex avoid my next post. 

Becoming a morning person

SO when it comes to getting up early in the mornings, I just don't do it.  I've managed it a few times once I worked at a Credit Union and had to be at work at 5:45 because we opened the drive thru at 6AM.  Another time is because I had a puppy and I needed bonding time with her before I was at work all day and then of course when my kids were babies sleep just didn't happen. So I was up early but I always would go back to bed for a bit.  I have been night owl since I was very little. Like I would wait up in my crib for my Dad to get home from working swing shift and hang out with him. If I go to sleep before 11PM I feel like it is to early.  Researching how to become a morning person. One article I read said to get up 15 mins earlier for a week and each week until you reach the desired wake up time.  Yeah for me to do that I would need 5 weeks. O_O  I have found another article on sparks people (read it HERE) And it had some good rules my favorites are:

1. Plan ahead. Each night before I go to bed, I make sure everything I need for the next day is ready to go: breakfast, lunch, and water bottle in the fridge; laptop case and purse by the door; gym bag is stocked with extra clothes, shoes, and toiletries. Even if I oversleep by a few minutes, I don't need to scramble to track down everything I need.
2. No distractions. I scan my email when I turn off my alarm each morning but I don't respond to anything that's not an emergency until I get to the office. I don’t open my laptop, and I don't own a TV, so I'm not tempted to lose track of time that way. I learned the hard way one morning when I logged on to my laptop for "just a minute" and ended up being 30 minutes late to practice. (It's an open studio, so you do a self-paced practice with staggered start times.)

I think that these two things can really help me out.  It is so easy to get derailed in the morning if we have to look for our work out clothes or running behind because of needing to pack lunches. Now I don't go to the gym I just go into our office where I keep my work out stuff. But I still think even knowing what I am going to where to work that day helps keep your mind on the task of working out. There is no concern about having to figure out what to where to work it is just all set to go. The second one I liked the most was No Distractions.  If we are all honest with our selves our alarm goes off and if we don't hit the snooze button we pick up our phone and check social media and email.  Social media is our equivalent to reading the paper. It is where most of us get our news from.  I once did a activity journal. I just logged the activity the start time and end time.  Trying to be honest about it and not change what my routine was because I wanted it to be truthful. It was a little shameful.  The amount of time I end up on the computer, phone surfing is crazy.   Anyways, so the whole turn off the alarm and get up and stay unplugged from wifi. Put my music on and get moving.

I have shared my goal of getting up at 5:45 in the morning starting the first week of Nov with the husband. He leaves for work between 5:15 & 5:30. So I asked him if he could just call me around 5:45 in the morning although I wish he just left later so that he could drag me physically out of bed. Well he thought that was the better idea. He thinks it would be to easy for me to hang up and go back to sleep. He knows me SO well. ;-)

So the plan will be he will be getting me out of bed to walk him to the door. That way I am up and walking then go back get my work out clothes on and start my work out.  I am thinking running day will also be leg day, then the next day bike and upper body. Then the one day I don't get up early I hope to do Yoga.  All this organization to accomplish this should help with my diet as well. I am hoping my new schedule will be a good thing.

You don't have to like it, you just need to be good at it.

How many of you have heard that phrase before? You don't have to like it, you just need to be good at it.  I have been told by so many people that I am so good at my Customer Service job but I really don't like it. Today as I was thinking about how much I don't like my job and then I thought how odd is it that we are not more eager to do things that we consider something for you.  I go to work for someone else every day and follow their rules and do what they want me to for 8 hours. I should want to go home and do things that are beneficial for me and my family, but I don't. After working for someone else we are so burnt out all we want to do is veg, rest our brain.

During my crazy leave I was so much more productive, active and ate better.  Now that I am back to work I sit around all day at my job and then when I get home. We also started eating out all the time again.  Here are some interesting statistics for you about your job and your health.  68.5% of Adult Americans are obese and 70% of Adult Americans don't like their jobs.  INTERESTING! Coincidence, I don't think so…..  I don't think you can have stats that are that close and have them not be related.  Even though it isn't an excuse it is very interesting to think about.  It is proof that if you love your job you tend to do things to love your self more.  So you should really try to do something you love.  If you can't do something you love you need to focus on making sure you are doing things to love yourself.

So how am I going to try to make sure I am doing things to love me more?  Part of it is unfortunately just discipline and the other part is I am going to have to become a morning person.  The morning is the best time to attack the day with the things you want and need to do for you. If you don't do it first thing by the end of the work day you will push your needs away for the needs of your kids, family or just the need to veg after a long day at work.  As my shift changes on Nov 1st my goal is to be up at 5:45AM everyday.

Neon Run & Biggest Loser Run/Walk

So last weekend was the Neon Run and I did my fastest EVER 5K!!!  It was a 7PM and I had some pretty bad shin pain during it but still managed to pull out my fastest ever.  Then just one short week later was the Biggest Loser Run/Walk 5K and I got my slowest time since the color run.  :-/  During the Neon Run I was feeling so discouraged because of my shin pain and that I am still slow.  The one positive thing I've been noticing is my ability to breathe on the last two 5K's. At the Warrior Dash my lungs and throat were on fire but I've been able to breath pretty well on the last two runs. And this includes my fastest time yet.  So I guess even though I am not seeing any progress in weight loss or even my muscles define, I am noticing my cardio improve.

Festive Make up for our Neon Run

Before Run Selfie

After I am not glowing very much but it was fun.

Check out that first mile!!!

If you look at my mile splits my first mile at the Neon run was 11:34!!! HOLY CRAP!! That is my fastest Mile EVER!!! Shortly after that I started having that pain in my shin and I had to slow down.

The Biggest Loser Run/Walk it was cool to see the Biggest Loser contestants there. There was Dan and his Mom Jackie & Vinny at the start. Then we we get to the half way point we can hear Jackson cheering everyone on. It was very cool. 

They give out free photos as well, but the won't be posted until later this week. I am hoping we got one at the finish line. I don't think it will look good but I was really racing. As slow as I did the 5K, at the very end my hubby said lets sprint to the end. I said "sprint? like really sprint?" and he said yes really sprint, beat me. I was running as fast as I could w/ my husband yelling beat me every couple seconds.  How did he know that would work?? I don't know if I told him about this but I have this memory of running lines in volley ball practice in high school. I was spent I was always a sprinter not a long distance runner, yes I am trying to change that now, and my coach could tell I was struggling. She went out and got next to me and said beat me. As she took off so did I. As we finished the last length of the gym she ran next to me saying beat me and I ran faster than I had ran the entire practice. When hubby did that I was full out sprinting to the finish. I haven't run as fast as I did since High School. I mean I would love to have know what my peak pace was at that time because it was crazy. My legs felt like they were going to give out. I had so much shin pain during that 5K I don't know how I picked it up and sprinted like I did. My Mom finished shortly behind us cause we kind of left her in the dust to race. She said man did you guys take off.  But for now here are some of the pics we took. 

Pre Race Selfie

Jackie, Dan & Vinny

Finisher Medals

SLOW!!!  SO SLOW!!