Punishment

This week as I struggled and out right refused to eat healthy. I wondered what on earth is wrong with me??  I know I need & want to lose weight, I know eating healthy is the key to get there.  Its like I am sitting in my car and insisting I am going to start it w/ my house key.   Of course I then head into victim territory stating things like it's not fair I can't eat things I want to eat, why does this have to be so difficult for me?   We all know that eating junk food isn't good for you and we eat it out frustration, emotions and because we think it's not fair that others can and we can't.  Today I realized I view eating healthy as a punishment. It seems like everything I figure out one metal view issue w/ diets and food then I find another one. They must be hiding under each layer and as I remove one I find the next one.

No one enjoys punishment. We will try to do anything and everything to avoid it. Maybe that is another reason I am so stubborn about eating what I want even if it's not on my diet.  I view it as a punishment for my crimes. All the years of eating crap now I must be punished for years to reverse the damage.  And to a certain point I do have to pay my time. I didn't gain weight overnight, it may feel like I did but I didn't. But I need to approach this as a discipline not a punishment. Punishment is something that makes someone suffer for something they have done. Discipline helps the person solve the problem.  I've written about discipline before (HERE) as it relates to willpower and that it comes from self discipline. Another mental view I need to change. The great thing about digging so deep into my brain and how I process everything and think about everything is that when I lose weight I should have all the mental problems solved and not return to the weight I was before.