Starving and cranky…..

Good news is I started my diet today liked planned took my vitamins and everything. Bad news is I am SO super cranky already.  I feel like I am starving but  I know I am not.  So I sat down to watch home movies of our vacation to Disneyland. I want to go back already, I wasn't ready to leave when the trip was over.  And OH MY GOODNESS! There was video taken at the pool in my swim suit and it really doesn't fit.  I mean it is really bad. I look very uncomfortable.  I need to go buy a functional swim suit to start practicing swimming in. Especially after seeing the home movies of me in the current one my boobs are coming out under my arms and my stomach is trying to pop out. and my hips and lower back look like my butt when it isn't.  I know the swim suit hit me right where my butt ends and it looks like my butt is way up because of how largest part of me is set up.   I haven't been hiding under a rock about my weight or the way I look but man I don't see what other people see very much except when I am looking in a mirror making sure I am standing up straight and maybe even sucking it in a little. But these videos really showed every roll every bump.  I mean even under my shirts and in my jeans that hardly stay up because they fit around my stomach but I have no butt to keep them up.

My Dad had a Dr. apt yesterday and his blood pressure is up and his blood sugar numbers were WAY to high. Him and my Mom and a long talk about how he needs to start dieting and exercising so he doesn't have a stroke. Type 2 Diabetes is controllable w/ diet & exercise but not curable.  Now pre-diabieties is curable. So if I am being honest w/ myself I am pretty sure I am pre diabetic and I don't want to have to live with type 2 if I don't have to. Yet I am still worried all this won't be motivation enough to lose weight.

I survived day one of my diet. I felt hungry like all day but I know this feeling will pass in about a week. I just need to get to the point where my stomach isn't demanding food all the time. Tomorrow I take on a task that I agreed to a little over a month ago, before I made a final decision to start my diet, I am making 5 doz cupcakes for work.  I think I will have one on Friday at work instead of a snack bar.  Hoping the one cup cake will not derail me so early on.  But have I told you I make the best cupcakes in the world???