So last night I decided I am going to do LA weight loss again. So I sat down to order my package and it is $199 for the basic package and I stopped I just couldn't spend that mud money on it. So then I started re exploring options again. I don't like counting calories and that is why I decided to go w/ LA weight loss but as I looked at the plan again it frustrated me the lack of protein it lets me eat. Anyways, I decided to order Advocare snack bars, meal replacement bars, spark and some more vitamin packets. At this point I figured I'd still go w/ the LA weight loss plan but use their snack bars as my LA Lites. Planning on buying the 48 hr Hollywood Juice that LA weight loss uses for a 2 day cleanse. They use that & let you eat all the lean protein & green veggies that you want. So I went to the store got a bunch of vegetables and forgot the juice………………. So now I can't juice tomorrow so do I delay for one more day or do I say screw it and just start counting calories. While I was shopping I was thinking about all the fruit and veggies I was buying and how they are so low in calories I really should just count calories as much as I hate it.
I have been in the worst place since getting back from Vacation. I had such an amazing trip but coming back to the real world where I feel a very large need to finally do something with my weight. I watched videos and looked at pics from our trip and I am just getting bigger. I am feeling huge and so uncomfortable. I have muffin top unless I am wearing yoga pants or PJ's and then I look pregnant. my oldest son asked me on our trip if I was pregnant. I had to tell him no and he told me he wants me to have another baby and the rest of the trip and even today he came up and rubbed my tummy. I took a bath last night I felt like I hardly fit in the tub and my stomach never gets submerged.
I need to pushed past the frustration, past the desire to quit, past the bad moods. I was trying to come up with something I knew that if I thought of it when I was having a hard time it would help keep my on track. Everyone says you need to lose weight for yourself but I don't put myself high enough for that to be enough. I feel very selfish when I want to put myself & my needs ahead of what my family might possibly need. SO I wrote down my top two things that are my number one concerns and hopes/goals. Then I dissected how I can relate these things to my weight loss journey to put it into my daily thoughts.
1.) I want to be a good Wife & Mother
To be a good Wife & Mother I need to be healthy. When we arrived to the airport last week my kids were so tired of sitting down and the airport was pretty empty so I started chasing them around in baggage claim and catching them and I had to stop after on round and then I'd just kind of go back and forth while they ran. They were saying come catch me Mommy and I couldn't. I was to tired I couldn't run. My boys ask me to play with them all the time and I have no interest and honestly I think that lack of interest is more attached to the fact that I really can't because I am so out of shape. Also my anxiety & depression will go away. So putting my health before everything else is me making sure I am the best Mom & Wife I can be.
2.) I want my children to grow up to be well rounded adults.
To raise well rounded children I need to be a good example and that is how they will learn. I have already witnessed when I am working out they want to work out and when I am drinking water they want water too. It will only be a mater of time before they see me eating healthy and sooner or later they will start trying these new foods too. Again meaning if I put my diet & health first I can help them become more well rounded not only in eating but also in activities because we will be come a more active family.
Now how to keep these things at the forefront of my mind for when I want to quit or hit snooze? That I am still figure out. It may require it plastered EVERYWHERE in my house.
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