I've heard it my entire life. Starting when I was in school. My teachers at parent teacher conferences "Crystal is so smart if she would just apply herself a little she would go so far" With my Mary Kay if I'd only apply myself & do the work I would be a director and be where I want to be in the company. And of course w/ my weight loss...... Today DH & I had to long talk about how I have so many excuses not to do things when I just need to start doing things. He says I need to start walking around the block. I told him that is stupid & will get me no results. He thinks at least it is something. Is he right?? I've heard the saying no matter how slow your moving you're lapping everyone on the couch. But I feel like that is a waste of time. He then asked me "Can you run?" no, "Can you jog?" no, "Then you start by walking.
What is the root of the reason why I don't apply myself? In School I had no interest in learning & just wanted to pass & have a great social life. But now later in life why can't I get myself to do the things I need/want to do? Even sticking to a budget is difficult for me. Our budget looks amazing on paper but then we want this or we go out to eat & boom budget blown out of the water. It makes it look like I enjoy feeling this way. I mean I started getting really pissed off at myself & maybe that is where I need to go w/ it. But I was literally angry at the lack of desire I have to do things that will improve & enrich my & my families lives. All my problems w/ applying myself not only effects me but it effects my whole family. If I could apply & stick to our budget we could buy a bigger house w/ some land for the boys to run & have there own bedrooms. If I would apply myself to my MK biz I could quit the job I can't stand going to & be home w/ my boys everyday & be a good house wife for my husband. If I would apply myself to my diet & exercise I would be healthy, not in pain, feel attractive, be able to play w/ my boys & be spend the longest/healthiest life possible w/ my husband.
I feel like God is trying to show me a glimpse of the life he has waiting for us. And the really amazing part is it can all be just 6 short months away. If DH new job comes w/ the possible raise we are thinking it might we can be in a position in 6 months to buy a 2nd home! If I stick to eating healthy & working out I will be at my goal weight in 6 months. And if I worked my MK biz & averaged 3 classes a week in 6 months I will be in New Orleans at Leadership conference picking up my free purse & $500 for becoming a director. If you could change you & your families life for the better by buckling down for 6 months would you do it. Any normal person would say of course! And yet ALL this is not new information to me. I've had the tools & same opportunities multiple times to move forward & change things for the better for all of us. And yet I have YET to apply myself and do something about it. I sit down & start to plan, get overwhelmed & give up. Really that is what it comes down to. Then I get the whole well don't do everything at once but why the heck not?!?! If you're going to go balls to the wall just do it. From now thru end of Oct my schedule is a 9-5:30 If I can find some for of working out to do at home, like my elliptical in the other room. I can get up at 7AM & get my work out in & then dieting is something that doesn't take time away from my family so no reason I can't do that day in & day out. I will need to push my emotions aside and stick to the plan. The budget will be a joint effort between DH & I so w/ his unwavering support we can accomplish sticking to a budget. And b unwavering I mean we are planning on talking allot about it this next week while we are away on our 10 year Anniversary trip. I think we are going to make pacts to like stop spending w/o asking each other first. Like NOTHING out of the budget not even a candy bar w/o having to call the other person first. As for my MK biz it is always the easiest to put off but I have joined a new accountability group & if I don't start working I won't be able to stay in said group and I really want to! And DH really wants me to succeed.
Now comes the difficult part that I mentioned before. I need to plan it out. As Mary Kay said "People never plan to fail, they fail to plan." I have to not let my self get overwhelmed. It is all doable & can & will be done. And I have to track it all!! The good the bad & the ugly. I have never succeeded w/o tracking. When I track I do well it keeps me accountable to myself. I need to get my but out of bed & start the day. I am thinking an alarm across the room is needed. Anyways, we leave in a couple days for the Ocean just DH & I for a kind of second honeymoon. Lots of time to think & plan. :-) Feeling really good about things to come.
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