8 miles was a Spiritual experience

Last night was so full of anxiety about the run tomorrow my asthma was kicking in. Then the drive to BFF's for our run today included lots of talking with hubby about how worried I was about the run. All the what if's and but's: what if I start hurting again, but I'm so slow.  Hubby is always so supportive and told me I could be fast I just need to get more training under my belt and I quickly told him he was very wrong and no matter what amount of training I will never be as fast as she is. We ended all our talking with him suggesting to just do the best I can and stop when and if I need to. I decided my goal is to keep moving as long as BFF was running. Even if it was walking I needed to keep going at least until she was done.  On the way to the track I very light hearty told BFF my plan. I was certain that I would not make it the 8 miles and I wanted it to not be a big deal when I didn't. Thinking maybe I'll get 5 miles in in the time BFF completes her 8 but I'll be so glad when she is done so I can be done.

What a gorgeous day it was. It was super sunny and not to cold it was really perfect for a run. We started out and I reminded my self of my plan: even if you have to walk the whole time just keep moving.  The first mile wasn't great a 17 min pace then the 2nd and 3rd miles were worse, well into the 19 min pace. It took me 58 mins to complete a 5K.  At this point I had lost track of how many times BFF had lapped me. She was a rock star running the WHOLE time! Because I was told by my sports Dr if I started to limp because of pain I had to stop running, I would walk every time I started feeling my leg cramp up.  This is what lead me to mainly walk mile 2 & 3. I was feeling very defeated after my first 3 miles. Knowing how awesome my BFF is, I was guessing there was less than an hour before she would be done. Feeling at a loss, I decided I will just walk the rest of the time no matter the distance I get to and I'll focus on trying to feel my posture and my lean (Chi running talk) and that way it won't be a loss.

My running playlist was up, its only an hour long, so instead of pressing play again I decided I needed to change my focus and pressed play on a short worship playlist I have and I started to pray: God I can't do this on my own, I am struggling and I need help, run with me.  He met me right on that track.  It was so overwhelming I almost started crying.  I felt that still small voice remind me that He has been there all along only I've never chosen to lean on Him. All of a sudden all the doubts, worries and self judgement left my brain. Filled with logic and peace about my pace and my run. Owning the fact that hey I am out here doing this, I may be slower than BFF but she has more training under her belt & I can't expect to be that fast. I was no longer concerned or upset about the run and I decided depending on how far ahead of me BFF was I was going to finish the 8 miles.  At this point she was just under 2 miles ahead of me.  I started running. Feeling the best I have felt while running in a VERY long time. Keeping my focus on God and keeping track of my milage and BFF's. When she finished rockin her 8 miles I was at 6.2 miles and thought ok I just need to keep going I have less than 2 miles left.  And just over 30 mins later I was done. My last quarter mile l was thanking God that I did it. My legs may have been doing the work but He carried me the last 5 miles. My mood was amazing, I felt great and I didn't give up.  My last 4 miles were all with in the 15-16 min mark. And I am thrilled with that!  Later I was doing my daily devotions for that day and it was confirmation of my whole day. From the anxiety, focus and weakness.  "For Nothing is impossible with God"

It was a great day and I am focused and motivated with a renewed since of purpose.  I have much more to blog about such as my first time using KT tape and more details about Chi running. But we will just end this one here with our after run pic. :-)