What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail????

I have been going over this question allot in my mind.  It has been a couple crazy weeks. DH business trip to Hong Kong was extended and he was gone a full 2 weeks and then suffered some major jet lag when he came back home.  I have been stressing allot about so much lately.  While he was gone I gained wait cause I was stress eating.  My Mom  has started a interview process at two places in hopes to go back to work.  Well she is our main child care. So the panic of wondering how & what are we going to do when she gets a job.  I am home 2 days a week & my aunt watches them for 1 day. Monday & Friday's DH telecommutes but that isn't always guaranteed. But he can't watch DS2, who is turning 3 this month, he is still to much work but DS1, who is turning 7 this month, would be fine. And that is if he gets to keep on telecommuting. And there is always the random Mon & Fri that he needs to go into the office for a meeting.  He also comes home to the announcement of more lay offs. We made it through the first round but now instead of just one more round in July we now have at least one more in Aug & then a possible 4th round in Sept.  So he is feeling very uneasy about his organization in the company.  It looks like he is safe for now but he doesn't know what the next year will bring. Looks like they maybe relocated his whole organization to Long Beach CA & SC.

So this is when the guilt starts setting in.  My original quit date for my job, that I hate, was 7/31/13.  If my Mom gets the job at the same place I work she'll be starting end of Aug.  I am in the same place I was when I started my MK business over a year & 1/2 ago.  When I joined MK it was right after my DH had to go on his 1st business trip & I missed time from work due to child care issues while he is gone. I work a few hours later than he does so even on the days I work we technically only have sitters until about 3ish. Anyways, we are not closer to being in a place where I can quite my job & be home w/ my boys and that is where we need to be in just a couple short months and we are far from it happening.

Because of possible lay offs and possible increase in child care costs we have also officially canceled our Anniversary trip to Hawaii.  We now have 3 nights booked in Cannon Beach OR at the same hotel we spent our Honeymoon. So it is our next best choice but still not Hawaii.  And I told DH well I haven't lost any weight so it's a good thing we are not going to Hawaii. But now I want our pics taken at Cannon Beach for our Anniversary & I really want to be down about 25 lbs in 8-10 weeks. I am feeling so frustrated & overwhelmed with EVERYTHING!!

I've heard myself say "why try when I always fail?"  And you know what??? That is a lie from the pit of hell.  I have not always failed. I saw a pic of myself & Noah when he was just a little over a year old & that is when I had lost 30 lbs and I love this pic of me & him. I wish I had a copy of it on my computer to post it here.  Well I showed DS1 just yesterday & he thought it was me & his little brother & I told him: No it is Mommy & you. Then I said quietly to my DH. Mommy when she was much thinner *sigh* I wish I looked like that again.  My DH said "then do it" The look on his face & tone in his voice was one of pure frustration.  I am sure he is frustrated w/ me being so unhappy w/ my looks & always talking about how I want to change it but don't. I've always known I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to.  God is w/ me & I can do ALL thinks through Christ.  I have lost weight before & can lose it again. For crying out loud I lost 7 lbs in one week just a month or so ago and that is my highest weight loss in one week ever and then I stop.

What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail???? So many things come to peoples minds w/ this questions & yet the one think all those things have in common is the only way people fail is when they quit.  If you plan your work & work your plan & stick to it you won't ever fail.  That is the killer that people don't like to remember.  It is all up to them & it isn't anyones fault but our own. We choose to stop trying, we choose to eat that quart of ice cream, we choose to wallow in our self pity.  Why? because change is hard & uncomfortable.

So I am charging my body bugg up & am going to start counting calories & taking my vitamins again tomorrow.  I am going to commit to the uncomfortable so I can be comfortable in my own skin.