We had the boys B-Day party w/ the family this weekend & DS2 ended up w/ a double ear infection. We have all be fighting this chest cold & his went into his ears so he spent the whole party laying around. Now I have it full blown & am thinking about rescheduling my training session tomorrow until Wednesday but then it will have been 2 weeks since I've been to the gym. I am in SEVEAR depression mode. I had gotten to the point where even if something negative was going on I could find the positive. (like the glad game from Pollyanna) But now I am slipping back into my self destructive mode. I was eating chocolate in small quantities. Like the Hershey Bliss size but I found my self craving it more & getting in a funk even. I am starting to wonder if that has something to do w/ my depression. I know that chocolate causes you to release endorphins that make you happy & maybe they also are part of my crashes. I've even been contemplating a trip back to the Dr to have my depression meds upped. I have ordered the cleanse & vitamins from Advocare again. I even overnight shipped them so I will be getting them on Tuesday so I can start on Wednesday. I hate the cleanse part because it tastes SO bad but I am hoping it will help w/ the cravings & I got a whole canister of Spark in hopes that I can get off 98% of my pop intake. I still plan on having one w/ dinner but right now I am drinking at least 3 a day and that is 150-220 calories each. I am drinking my calories away. As for eating during the cleanse I am not sure they say to stick to lean proteins, whole grains & fruits & veggies, This means I need to maybe have toast w/ peanut butter at work for breakfast & stick to eggs at home. DH says I need to figure out my meal plan & calories for the meals so I can plan that way too. We have a TON of meat in our freezers; Fish, Chicken, Steak, pork, beef...... I think I am going to try the calorie thing cause hopefully it will help me cut the pop out because that is wasted calories.
So my goal is to complete the Advocare 24 Day challenge starting Wednesday. 24 days seems like such a short time but if it can help me get on track I NEED to do this. I have even been contemplating taking all my spending money & paying for an extra training session every week for a month. But I've also realized that the best time for me to go to the gym is Mon & Fri Mornings before work meaning I need to leave here by 5:40AM but then I am not taking time away from my family & that will help w/ the guilt part of it. So I know my trainer doesn't want to do that, he has told me he isn't a morning person. So I think OK Wed evening after DH gets home from work I will train w/ him then Mon, Fri & Sat Mornings I'll go my self. So two days weight training & two days cardio. I could even make Mon & Fri my cardio days & that means I don't have to leave as early cause I a don't need the full 40 mins so I could leave at 6AM & be back here by 7AM to shower. This is going to take allot of preplanning. I am going to need to pack lunches, get the boys stuff ready to go the night before along w/ my gym clothes & my work clothes. Plus the dinner planning. This will not be easy or fun but SOOOOO worth it. I need to take some time in the next two days to get this going. I need this chest cold to go away so I can get to the gym. The STP is less that 24 days away so part of my 24 day challenge I will be on "vacation" Well meeting DH at the 1/2 way point & we are all staying at the Great Wolf Lodge. I will have to pack veggies, fruits & I will have to be creative for dinner while were are there. I am also helping throw my BFF's baby shower at her Mom's that day on our way down to Great Wolf. But my BFF is having massive gall stone issues w/ this pregnancy so everything at her shower has to be fat free or she can't eat it so that won't be a problem there.
I need to realize that I am worth doing this, that this is going to improve the Mom I am to my kids. Then maybe I will stop feeling guilty about taking the time to do this. This is kind of me time that I don't enjoy. Maybe this is also why it is hard because I figure if I am going to have me time I want to be w/ my family snacking & visiting. Well lets start the planing & preparing. The starting line is only 2 days away. I plan on taking before & after measurements & pics. Lets see what this 24 day challenge can do when you actually stick to it & complete it. I am hoping for an 8-10 lbs weight loss & at least 5 over all inches. I am going to try to post something every day of the challenge & I will post my measurements & before pics as well.
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