For a very long time I've be able to say hide my belly. I carry most of my fat there and have been told that I hide it well. People find out how much I weigh and they are very surprised. To quote my BFF once, when I was much lighter, while sharing a dressing room at the mall, "Wow you really are over weight!" Yes, yes I am. We recently got one of those free standing full length mirrors for our room and it is next to my dresser. While grabbing underwear and clothing after showering with just a towel on my head I saw something I haven't seen in probably close to 10 years......I saw my self naked. All the stretch marks and rolls had no where to hide. it was to late I'd couldn't unseen what I just saw. My first thought was: WOAH how did I get here? second thought was: This is not healthy and the third thought was I have to take a before picture in next to nothing so everyone can really see the change I am going to make! Not my normal thought process which is a good thing. My normal process would have had me downing tons of ice cream while wallowing in the depths of despair over how overweight I am. This mornings weight was 187, 7 lbs heavier than when I was 9 months pregnant with DS2.
For a little more than a week I've been thinking crazy thoughts about my health goals and I think I maybe losing my mind. I have been thinking about committing to 90 days of health. June, July and Aug. And I can't seem to get it out of my head. Then today we waitlisted a vacation for Nov and I was thinking about how amazing it would be to go on vacation healthy. This made me think why stop at 90 days lets stretch it out until Nov incase our wait list gets granted. Then I think how can I even think that big when I can't seem to complete a 24 day challenge, why would I want to overwhelm my mind with that large of a time frame? But I know that this change will be a lifetime change and I wonder if thinking more long term would help since thinking short term hasn't worked so far. On one hand Nov sounds so far away and like a long time to stay focused and on the other hand I feel like it is doable and lots of time to do it in. But with lots of time comes procrastination. The logical talk of I don't have to start today I still have time, happens. And I've officially be doing this for years, literally years!!! How do we prevent my habituation procrastination? With Motivation and action! they are procrastination killers.
Step one motivation: They say to plaster your goal everywhere so you are constantly reminded of it. It is time to buy some poster board and put my goal up all over. Also I want to put up something to track my habits where hubby can see it and keep me accountable too. Hubby has been talking about starting to run and I want to print out C25K schedules for both of us. I realized recently that I think my unhealthy habits are brining my husband down as well. We are both at our heaviest weight ever and both went from being very active last year to basically zero activity.
Step two action: I have been planning on getting this whole thing started on June 1st. The whole idea scares me but I feel good about it as well. I have a little over a week to prepare. This gives me plenty of time to meal plan, grocery shop and make motivational goal posters and put them up everywhere.
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