Passion

Being at home this week so far has not been what I had planned. I had HUGE plans for some more organization & getting planning done.  And yet we did nothing yesterday cause DS1 was home sick and this morning started w/ a trip to the Walk in clinic for DS1.   *SIGH*   I haven't track my food yet & I know I was a little over my calories yesterday.  I told DH that something always happens that makes me have issues week 2 then I quit and I REFUSE to quit this time!!!  One off day isn't going to throw me into a woes me cycle.

I have recently discovered the need for passion.  It may sound strange but I've always had very strong "Why's" for why I do what I want to do. But they've never seemed to be enough and I now know it is because I was lacking passion.  I didn't have that intense burning desire to reach my goal.  I have always wanted to reach my goals, I always have excellent reasons to do the things I want to do. Like lose weight & gain my healthy, succeed at my MK biz so I can be a work at home Mommy, or stick to the budget so we can buy a 2nd house.  Yet I have yet to manage to stick to anything yet. Not due to lack or good reason, want to or need to but a lack of passion.  So how does one attain passion for something you have never enjoyed, like dieting???  It truly started w/ the Warrior Dash w/ me. I found a passion inside me to be in shape. I mean I get excited about it every time I think about it. Even though I know it is coming w/ allot of work, it doesn't bother me.  The thought of it taking me a year to lose all my weight always used to frustrate me because it seemed like such a long time. But the fact that I have a year to get into the best shape of my life & have a rematch w/ the Warrior Dash. Doesn't seem like that much time.  I could always delay the whole losing weight & dieting thing because it was well I know I can lose 5 lbs my first week of trying so I can make up for week I'm skipping now etc.. But that week would never come & I would recite the same excuse over and over and over again. However I know how long it is going to take me to get in shape and I know if you skip two weeks of working out you lose up to something stupid like 20% of all the strength you gained.  So it is important to keep going. Not like weight loss were you can maintain your loss and everything is fine you stop working out and you lose what you've accomplished.

I got some extra passion today.  Let me take a couple steps back. So when I started trying out work out DVD's I had little work out buddies so the youngest calls exercise: eggersizing, it is really cute.  So today we moved my elliptical out into our living room so we could take pictures of it and put it on craigslist and my boys have been using it off and on all day. Especially DS2 keeps on saying look Mommy I eggersizing, you want to try?  Also DH & I have been trying to drink more water & the boys have started hijacking our water cups and bottles and drinking it.  It showed me just how easily they can be influenced for a healthier life style.  I want that for them I want them to stay healthy. I hate it when they are sick, I get ill w/ worry when they are sick. Kids live by example and I want to be that good example for them. I want them to see me get healthy and fit. I want this more than I think I have ever wanted to be thin.