Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It is only 5 months why is this so hard???

At an average of 2lbs a week I can reach my goal in a short 5 months. That is the end of September. That sounds so close I can't figure out why I can't just stay w/ this. I went a whole 4 weeks doing good down 8 lbs & now that I've fallen off the wagon it is so hard to get back on again. my SIL & Brother just started last week & she is down 3 lbs & my Mom told me today that she is still losing on track to reaching her goal by October. Does it make me a bad person that I feel like I would be so upset if it got to the point where my Mom was thinner than I was? My Mom has battled w/ weight loss for so long. I want to see her win & keep it off & get healthy. The last time she lost allot of weight was w/ the help of a tea w/ ephedrine in it & she got down to a size 12 it was at the same time I got down to 130 lbs which had me in a size 10. Then in the same breath I get mad at the thought of her losing & me staying this way. 

I don't know how to find a different way to deal w/ stress than eating.  I know knitting is a good outlet but isn't always easy to do w/ the boys. No matter how crazy the house even if DS1 is having a fit & DS2 is crying I can always pick up a piece of candy & eat it.  It is quick & easy endorphin lifter.  I don't now what else to do. I was so certain that after 3 weeks I was golden & here I am this is week 6 & I have totally back tracked. I calculated that I will be losing 27.5% of my body weight. I need to get this going again!!!

Lord Help me! I know you said I am just passing through this part of my life & I want to cling to that phrase you gave me. Amen

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