A Bed of Nails

I wrote this back in 2009 after I had lost almost 30lbs & then quickly gained it back. This is how I feel about my weight loss struggle.

I sleep on a bed of nails
It pokes & sticks me all night
It is so uncomfortable I can't sleep
Sometimes it even makes me cry
I dread going to bed
I stress knowing all the pain
And tossing & turning that is coming
I am angry that I've been sleeping on it for so long

I dream of having a nice cushy bed
Memory foam and all
So comfortable and softThe same position I went to sleep in
No more pain, anger, stress or tears

Then one day it happened
My dream came true, my prayers answered
I came home to find the bed of my dreams
In my room magically, right next to my bed of nails
All soft, warm & waiting for me to climb in

I let out a big sigh & smile
but only for a moment
Then it starts to set in
The anxiety & fear 
I walk toward my dream bed
And walk right past it
And lay on my bed of nails
As I let the familiar pain set it
I cry myself to sleep

Maybe one day I will sleep in
The bed of my dreams
That is now so close in reach
But for now I cling to my pain