Coke, Doritos and Peanut M&M's

FYI this is going to be a LOOOOOONG post…..

Coke, Doritos and Peanut M&M’s. today I picked these up intentionally looking forward to eating them I’ve been stressed and needed to go back to an old favorite.  

Let me tell you a story, come back in time to 2001.  I was working at a small credit union and on my way home from work one day I had a break down.  I called my parents, I still lived at home, and was sobbing saying how I can’t stand what I see in the mirror and I am sad all the time and I feel so ugly.  My parents were amazing and both came to my aid.  They asked if I was really sure I wanted their help, I said yes.  More back story for you my Dad was a body builder when I was younger and he helped my Mom get into the best shape of her life by training her.  I had been told the story a million times about when my Dad got home from his swing shift after midnight and asked my sleeping Mom if she worked out that day. When she responded no he proceeded  to make her get out of bed and work out. My Mom tells the tale of how she cried during the whole work out.  But she also always talked about how that was the best she ever felt and the best shape she was ever in.  So I knew what my parents meant by asking me if I was SURE I wanted their help.  

I weighed in at a whopping 146 lbs a whole 22 lbs over what the BMI charts say I should weigh. It was summer and my Mom started packing me low carb high protein/fat meals for breakfast and lunch. Basically allot of meats and cheeses and veggies. And I worked out with my Dad 3 days a week and did two days of cardio on my own.  I weighed in not looking at the scale. I had set up goals with prizes attached to them. Dad would keep track of my weight and just tell me what prize I got to buy when I would hit a certain weight goal. I’ll never forget when he said you should buy your new Sunglasses today it meant I hit 130!! In 3 months I lost 15 lbs, this was working out 5 days a week, eating 1200 calories a day of low carb meal plan. 5 lbs a month is all my body would do and that was 16 years ago. 

Once I hit 130 I was thrilled, I was confident, I was happy with me at that weight. I applied and got a new job at another bigger credit union in my area and that is where the Coke, Doritos and Peanut M&M’s come in. Shortly after working at this new job I realized I loved working in the drive up and they had a shift 6AM-3PM and I LOVED IT!! My first break would be right after everyone started coming in at 8AM. And I would be starving!!! There was no cafeteria and I didn’t pack lunches or breakfasts. So I would go to the break room and get those 3 things out of the Vending machine EVERYDAY!!  I quickly gained back the 15 lbs I had worked so hard to lose and in 2003 when I got married and was 145 lbs. Mind you I was still happy. I knew 15 lbs wasn’t that much to lose and I could do it. Then we enter the first few years of marriage. We ate out ALL the time and I still never packed breakfast or lunch for work. In 2002 I found out I was pregnant and I started that journey at 155 lbs and at 9 months pregnant I was 170.  After baby was born I spent the first 6 months trying to stay awake and to stay awake, I kept a bowl of Peanut M&M’s handy to munch during night time feedings. 6 short months later I found myself at 170lb, in the first 6 weeks after baby I had gotten back down to 155, all the weight I had lost was back with a vengeance. That is when I had another successful weight loss attempt. This time it was a portion control eating program w/ 2  “protein bars” (they tasted like snickers) every day.  I loved this program and lost 30 lbs on it and found myself happy at 140 lbs.

11 years later now, with baby 2 born in 2010) I am now tipping the scale at 178 lbs.   My life is busier and more hectic than ever before and today I reached for a Coke, Doritos and Peanut M&M’s.  While they were delicious, I always feel guilt when I eat that trio. It always brings me back to the girl that was only 15 lbs over weight and sobbing in her car begging for help. And I sit here with all the tools I need and cannot find it in me to make this a priority again. 11 months ago I started the 21 day fix and was shocked at my results round two brought even more results. By may I was down 20 lbs and 22 inches!! SAY WHAT!!!  While it was slower than the 5 lbs a month I was hoping for, I am older and if I could only lose 5 lbs a week when I was 16 years younger I shouldn't expect my body to still work that way right?  But it was still weight lost and muscle gain.  What happened? While I continued to work out during the summer off and on. Some MAJOR changes were coming and I would eat healthy for a week, then I would eat crap for a week or two, then healthy for another week and then right back to eating crap. Then the work outs stopped and were only once a week or once every other week. The change I was dreading took place without a hitch but while it fixed a certain problem we knew it would cause other issues. Going from Part Time to Full Time was seriously the hardest decision ever, next to having to put my Dog down that was the hardest. And I have yet to find a way to make it all fit and work.  

When I write it all down on paper it looks so great. Lose 1.25 lbs a week, get up at 5:15 in bed at 10PM. Less TV time at night to get stuff done for my family and early morning to do stuff for me.  The problem there in lies the whole getting up early.  I have NEVER and I repeat NEVER been a morning person. As a toddler I would wait awake in my crib for my Dad to come home from swing shift around midnight and then we would watch Johnny Carson together and I'd go back to bed around 1AM.  This is still my average bed time and always has been. Now I am a Mom with a night owl of my own. My oldest doesn't going to sleep before about 11 each night and we get up at 6:30 every morning for school. I have some ideas to try to help turn off his brain it is similar to what helps me. He started to journal but I think I want him to start doing a brain dump each night so he can write things down and hopefully stop thinking about them and rest.  Anyway, my point being I am the Mom who doesn't turn off Mom mode until my kids are asleep. Once they are finally asleep I start having MY chill time, Whether it be watching a show on youtube or scrolling through social media.  I always have great plans at night to conquer the world the next morning but then lack of sleep always wins out.  One day and one day soon I hope, I am going to get this all figured out! 

Preparing to be obessed

It has been forever since I have blogged!! I've just been posting on Insta stories instead of typing everything up.  So lets see I didn't finish Insanity Max 30 because I wasn't happy with the results I was getting. I was sweating my butt off, literally!!! I lost the butt I had worked hard for 4 months to get. And I also noticed my muscle definition in my legs going away too. And I was in love with the way my legs were looking.

Then I had a major change, as of August 1st I was no longer a Part Time employee. The stress hit hard. The schedule change hit hard! EVERYTHING hit hard!!  And then what does my Dr. do? She refuses to give me refills of my blood pressure meds and my anti crazy pills. Um excuse me do you realize what bad timing this is!?!?!?!  I also have never really liked who I selected as my PCP so I avoid seeing her at all costs.  My Mom recommended I go see her Dr who is at the same clinic as mine. I called to make an apt hoping to get in the next couple days and NOPE first apt was a week out. Lucky I found enough crazy pills to get me thru until I could see her and get refills, but no such luck with my BP meds.  Let me take you back to about a year ago, the last time I ran out of meds and my Dr refused to refill them w/o an apt.  I was to busy it was the start of the school year we had just moved and it was just not going to happen.  Fast forward a few months and my depression was starting to hit hard again. Hubby recommended I just go to the walk in because I needed my meds and that I could work around my schedule. At my apt at the Walk In clinic they took my blood pressure and I kid you not it was 170/100. The Dr. looked at me in shock and asked "Why is your BP so high?!?" To which I explained my Dr refused refills and life is crazy and I haven't had time to get in to see her. He then got a little mad saying well this isn't a medication that a Dr. should be refusing especially when yours is so high. (ok back to the present) Needless to say I was super nervous of what the Dr. was going to say and what my BP would be when I got there. I had been off of my BP meds for a week when my apt arrived. The nurse came and said what meds are you here to refill and I told her, she then asked me again how long I've been off of them I told her a week. She seemed a little confused and said well I guess they could consider your BP high but we'll see what the Dr. says. It was a little high 130/90 not as great as it was last earlier this month when it was like 120/84.  But I have allot of stress going on and I have white coat syndrome and always get anxiety about going to the Dr. The Dr. came in and asked me some strange questions about swelling and why else I take my BP meds (because they are just a water pill) and I confirmed to her that I had no other reason I was taking that pill other than my BP.  She then says well "I don't see any reason to keep you on them" I told her I had lost some weight and have been working out and exercising and he says "whatever you're doing it is working".  I was SO excited, words can not express how excited I was.
I am officially off my BP meds because of the changes I've made in my life! It works people it is amazing!! I am beyond thrilled!

On to the name of this post: "preparing to be obsessed" Autumn Calabrese is the creator of portion fix and the super trainer that made 21 day fix.  She has a new program coming out in January called 80 Day Obsession and it is an advanced program.  I really wanted to do it but was trying to figure out a way to prepare for it and then BAM Autumn herself announces that she is going to have a Facebook group called "Preparing to be obsessed" We will be starting with 21 Day fix then moving on to her 30 day Chisel and then 21 Day Fix extreme.  Followed by some surprises she has for us after that. I am thinking she may have a one week program coming out again or another 21 Day Fix. Because we will have like still 6-8 weeks to go before 80 Day Obsession is going to be released. So this group is 15000 people strong and there is just this feeling about doing this with so many other people that gets me excited.  When ALL of beachbody was doing Shaun Week it felt amazing! And it helped keep me going too. So this whole program starts TOMORROW!! It feels nice to know we are starting with something I am already familiar with and enjoy.  I just found out that you need a chin up bar for the Chisel work out and frankly I find that a little terrifying. LOL!!  I've got to take before pics and measurements and I am excited to see my results.  I am going to try really hard to stick to the meal plan because that is where I struggle is my food intake. Can't wait to share the results with all of you!

Stressed to the MAX!

Towards the end of last week I was in a great place. I had just about finished week two of Insanity Max 30 and had seen the scale move so dramatically I felt like finally!!!  In a matter of two weeks I managed to lose months of progress I gained 6.5 lbs and 3 inches.  IN TWO WEEKS!! It made me so mad that all my hard work that I struggle for is so easily lost. But after only 9 days of Insanity Max 30 I was down 6.3 lbs and 2.5 inches were gone again. So thank goodness for muscle memory and I am sure some of the loss was water weight but still it felt amazing to see the scale move that much. I have never lost that much weight in less than 2 weeks!

Then the weekend came I had friday off and a special date and overnight get away with the hubby so I ate really good all day and splurged on dinner and dessert. Then the next day we went to hubby's families river lot and I even packed a salad and fruit.  For dinner we did have pizza but I wasn't concerned I only ate 2 pieces and I would normally have 4. Sunday wasn't great and today was awful!  I am so stressed with the upcoming changes and PMS that I caved, I was weak and I caved and turned to food. I ate so much and now I have the guilt that comes with it and I am dreading the scale tomorrow. I get so angry at myself because I know what to do and how to do it and yet I can still get hung up on stress.  So I am back to being pissed off just enough that I hope it is enough to push me to better myself.

Maxing Out

I have been trying to figure out what step to take next. With all the change that has been going on and change that is coming I feel fully maxed out.  You know that feeling when you think you just can't take anything else on and then 10 more things fall into your lap?  That is where I am right now.

Since Shaun week I've been struggling to stick to any work out. I tried 21 Day Fix Extreme and enjoyed it for the week I did it but I lost interest pretty quickly.  I miss the way Shaun T talks during get entire work out. LOL!  But I really missed weight lifting during Shaun week. So I did a bunch of research and had made up my mind that I was going to focus on Beachbodys program Body Beast which is all about body building.  I think started remembering how frustrated I've been about not losing weight and I know gaining muscle will burn fat but it takes longer and I will probably see the scale not more much.  So while I want to gain muscle mass I decided I need something to burn some fat first.  I decided on a program that scares me and says it is for Advanced level but there is a modifier.  I have chose to do Shaun T's Insanity Max 30.  It is a 60 day program and only 30 mins a day, only 5 days a week. And I will still build muscle because they do body weight exercises to build muscle but I won't be gaining a bunch of muscle.

60 days is a long time!  I have managed to stick to the 21 day fix only 2 entire times and that was a month and a half apart. While I still did the exercises constantly I didn't follow the meal plan meaning my progress stayed still and I just maintained. The crazy thing is with everything else that is changing in my life I am like bring on more change LOL!! I mean might as well deal with it all at once right? So on Monday I start on my 60 day journey through Insanity. I am going to work on my meal plans.  I have quite the process I've started and I may share it here once it is all done but it is a little on the crazy side. I am getting very detailed into my planning because on top of job change, schedule changes & exercise program change, we are also changing our budget up ALLOT!!  So we are basically choosing to be broke for the next two years to get us to a really good place financially. This means a stricter budget and most of our over spending is to food. My goal is to figure out how much each meal cost and so when I am planning our grocery list I can literally know ok this one is going to cost us about $20 and this one $15 etc... This means I should be able to meal plan along budgeting as well. See I told you a little on the crazy side ;-)

Maxing out is going to be my life for the next 60 days with this program, budgets, changes, work. And I think doing this program will help me get through it all and see some results I've been looking for.

Stolen Joy

It's been a while since I've blogged but things kind of got super crazy.  Family emergencies, sickness, back pain, and big changes coming my way.  I hadn't worked out for two weeks due to recovering for my sprained SI joint then we had our family emergency. The first work outs I finally got in was when I started when Shaun Week on June 12th.  I completed Shaun week and felt amazing!!

What Shaun Week taught me:

1. I can do more than I thought
2. I am stronger than I thought
3. I still have some emotional stuff to work out
4. In order to achieve breakthroughs you must first be broken down

5 out of the 7 days of Shaun Week I was pushed to my breaking point and holding back tears. These work outs pushed me to my physical limits. It was like hitting mile 10 of my half marathon but after only a half hour of working out.  I think the emotions start because you know you are doing something you struggled to get through but you did it anyway. Then it makes you think of things you need to let go of and move on from.  It makes you think about everything in life and I don't know why it does that. It is just like how contestants on the biggest loser break down and start figuring out there issues.  I had had such an emotional few weeks anyways with my injury and our family emergency that these work outs were changing me. They were pushing me and while pushing me I was dealing with stuff I didn't think I still needed to deal with.

Then when Shaun week was over something happened that I have been dreading.  The full time spot opened at work that I was planning on applying for.  Keep in mind with ever fiber of my being I've always wanted to be a stay at home Mom.  I've been part time for 10 1/2 years and during that whole time plotted how to quit to be at home with my boys full time.  Well now we've found this amazing school that they both thrived at last year and to afford the tuition I need to go full time.  But applying for it brought me to a very sad place. The week after Shaun week I started the 21 Day Fix Extreme and enjoyed the work outs and was glad with my choice to push myself further physically after Shaun Week, but I ate like crap because I was in a mood about applying for full time.  I took Sunday off instead of doing Yoga and then Monday was a crap day at work which made me even more upset about apply for full time, so I took Monday off from working out.  Then Tuesday the official offer and date was set for my switch from part time to full time.  I cried all the way home.  It maybe hard for some to understand why this is so hard. I work 3 days a week part time what is 2 more days? Especially since both my boys will be in school full time next year.  While I wish that logic was enough to calm my crazy. For me this goes very deep.  Every day since my oldest was about 2 I've wanted to quit my job.  My oldest has had many issues through the years making me miss allot of work from time to time, but if I was able to get time off for like a week the issues would calm down. When I was home everything would get better for him.

For basically almost 9 years I've hoped and dreamed of the day that I would be home with my boys, keeping their schedules consistent and taking care of our home.  Going full time to me means giving up on a dream I've been fighter for for almost a decade. I have never had a dream I wanted so badly to come true, meaning I've also never had to give up on a dream this big either.  I am not good at it. I pretty much suck at it.  Everything in me has always held tight to this dream and now it feels impossible to let it go.  My joy has been stolen from me and I am trying hard to choose it every day but l haven't dealt with this yet to find the joy.  I've been in shut down mode for 3 days, not working out, eating poorly.  But tonight I felt a spark. I started getting pissed off.  Maybe it is just the anger stage of grief cause I know I've already visited, denial, bargaining and depression. There is only anger and acceptance left. But late tonight I felt that spark of anger of what this is taking from me and I realized not only was this taking my joy but it is starting to take my health.  I was falling back and quickly into old habits and starting to throw away my chance at a healthy life.

I've been so frustrated with my health journey for the last couple months because I haven't been eating right so the scale isn't moving. You can't out exercise a bad diet.  I know in my soul that my eating is the cause of this 2 month plateau because for one week I got back on track about 3 weeks ago and the scale responded immediately.  I looked back and realized it was about at that time that we had to choose to re enroll the boys in school and I told my hubby even if I have to go full time at work we will send the boys to this new school. I have been letting this steal my joy for 2 months. 2 months of progress flushed down the toilet because I let something steal my joy.  How dare I do that to myself and my family. While I am still figuring it all out, I know one thing for sure: I have to find a way to choose joy no matter what comes my way. Because in this change comes a greater good and I need to get my crap together and deal with it somehow.

And so I ran!

This last week has been not a good week.  2 days in the hospital, 1 call to 911 after home from hospital, 1 trip to urgent care and a bad back.  See my Dad had a stroke and his is not that old and all his numbers for normal causes of stroke were all good. So after 2 days in the hospital he was released and told how lucky he was because of how mild his reactions to the stroke was. Then just the day after he was released he had some of the symptoms that the Dr told him to watch out for so we had to call 911.  I am a Daddy's girl always have been always will be. So this happening hit me hard.  My stress level shot thru the roof and my anxiety was constantly on edge. Then my son crashed his bike and thought he broke his arm so we rushed him to the urgent care, thankfully it was not broken.  And for the last month I've been suffering from back pain. I sprang my SI joint on my left side and I wasn't even working out when it happened I was goofing off dancing.  Anyways after 2 1/2 weeks of no work outs, Dr's orders, I was finally was pain free. I started working again last Monday out only to have the pain start to come back a few days later by the end of this week. I was so exasperated I told hubby I need to do something like run.  I told myself I don't run anymore and maybe I should just do a work out my back was feeling pretty good by this time but I couldn't get running out of my head. So I laced up and told hubby I was going to run on the treadmill.

So many thoughts went through my mind while trying to decide what to do on said treadmill. I thought about how when I tried to start the C25K again a few months back it was hard again to run for 60 seconds.  I haven't ran in 2 years and it has been 3 years since I did the C25K originally.  I looked at my C25K sheet and contemplated doing Week1 Day1 again.  But I was looking for a runners high, I needed it and I knew what it takes for me to get there.  I would always get one after really pushing myself and so I ran.  I turned on my music and ran. I checked out mentally and just let my feet and legs keep moving.  I alternated between 4 and 5 MPH but never slowed to a walk.  I did a mile in under 14 mins which for me is huge.  And I didn't stop I kept going. 25 minutes total including a minute cool down.  I ran for 24 minutes non stop.  The last time I did that was 3 years ago when I hit the week of my C25K program where it made me run for 20 minutes.  It felt good. It felt good to think that somehow I did that with out any C25K training. While I am still not fast I think I may just start doing 25 mins on the treadmill a few times a week and who knows with time I may get faster.  I have to complete my first Run Disney virtual 5K this month too. The pride and release I found from that little run was so amazing.  

This morning my heart dropped as I could hardly get out of bed. My sciatic is in so much pain I was limping around all day icing it and hardly able to move around. This has nothing to do with my sprang SI joint on the other side.  I just want to be able to work daily again. This next week starts Shaun Week on Beachbody on demand and I have a small group I am doing it with and I am afraid I am not going to be able to do it. Praying that tomorrow I am feeling much better. But yes this week sucked and I have still not quite emotionally recovered but that run did help and even more so than the run was just the fact that I did something I haven't done it 3 years and something just 5 minutes before I had deemed not possible.  You can do so much more that you think you can.

Running on the brain....

I have an itch that will not go away.  Ever since my last post about it being 2 years since my half marathon I can not stop thinking about doing another one.  Hubby says I need to stick to a 10K but I don't know.......  I agree I need to start small. Start singing up for 5K's and 10K's again and see how it goes.  I promise I really don't like running! So why do I keep on coming back to it?

I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when I finish a race. I enjoy a good runners high. But for me none of this happens during the process only after I am done running. Granted during my half marathon the parts that were in the part to start with were AMAZING!!  I actually enjoyed that run.  And I guess maybe that should be my goal.  I need running to be fun. Like the first Warrior Dash that started this whole thing. That was slow but so fun! I want to be able to go do a 5K and not worry about feeling like I am going to die. Heck I would really like to be able to run at a nice slow pace a whole 5K.  I've always been a walk run person.  

But I am also into my weight training with the 21 Day fix. Man do I love lifting!  But even though lifting gives me a great feeling of accomplishment right away it isn't quite the same and finishing a race.  Dare I say I've been looking at races and I've almost registered for a few but always back out.  I want to do another race at Disney SO BAD!! Chad said he will run 10K's with me but not a half. and I am like well if I am running the 10K one day and do the half the next then we get more medals. LOL!!

I am thinking I will start very small with runDisney's Virtual Running Shorts for this summer. It comes with 4 medals if I do all 3 5K's one in each month (June, July and August) I can do them on my own at my own pace and even on my treadmill if I need to.  My goal will be to get faster with each one.  I am decided this is my plan! It will be an easy way to ease back in to running and give me a goal for each month. I have to submit my info to them before they will send me my finishers medal each month. 

So there you have it, I guess I am going to start running again. *GULP*

2 years ago today...

Thanks to Facebook Memories and Timehop I know that 2 years ago today I completed my one and only Half Marathon.  It made me wonder so I looked up the results and I don't know that I ever looked up the official results before.  Official time was 3:50:28 just about 18 min miles. That is nothing great but we did have some 2 or 3 bathroom breaks during the run and then my freak out at mile 10.  If it wasn't for my BFF at that moment I am certain I would have just curled up in a ball and sobbed. LOL!!   I do not miss running, I do not miss training for the half marathon but I do miss the feeling that you get when you cross that finish line.  It made me want to do it all over again.

                            

 

Knowing I was not in the best shape when I did this and knowing I am already in better shape and health now I can't help but wonder what it would be like to start running again.  I am not that much lighter than I am allot smaller in size.  I am still a little apprehensive to actually say yes I am going to do this again. I want to lose more weight and get even healthier with my programs I am doing now first.  But it is something that has been burning in my mind for a while now. I am thinking I need to start again with the C25K and do some 5K's and see how I do and how I feel because I remember feeling and saying I would NEVER do another Half Marathon again! But if I sign up for another Half Marathon, you'll guys will be the first to know.

It's been a while and things are great!!!

Normally when I am not around blogging it means I am not doing well on my journey to health and this time it couldn't be more the opposite.  I am officially down 16 lbs and 20 inches!!!! Tat is a big deal!!! I am running accountability groups on Facebook and they are going AMAZING as well!!

Normally I blog when I am up late and can't sleep but the strangest side effect of eating healthy and exercising for 30 mins a day is I am tired at a normal time at night.  I used to blog somewhere between 12-2AM and now I am almost always asleep by midnight. Granted I am still not getting enough sleep but it is still more than I used to get.

Here is my most recent before and after. 20 inches gone!!! Plus confidence, happiness and so many other good things.

I still have a very long way to go and I have seemed to plateau, but my eating has not been 100% and I am very close to where I need to adjust my eating plan to go down because my weight loss will have brought me into the next level.  Mean I lose a carb, fruit and 2 tsps!! O_O  I am really not looking forward to that but I know if I want to make more progress that day will come.   I told hubby I was starting to wonder if I need to make that adjustment a little bit earlier since my weight loss has slowed to a halt.  But I think I am going to make sure this next week I go back to measuring everything out, not just eyeballing it, and tracking it all down on paper. I am also thinking about adding a daily cardio routine to my work out schedule. Meaning working out for not just 30 mins a day but 60 mins. Preferably not back to back.  I did complete the doubles week from the 21 day fix and the strength I gained and noticed that week was so cool!! I had been doing these work outs for months and doubles week made a HUGE difference.  

Oh and get this! I have a butt!!! I have never had a butt in my life. you can see in my before pic it was very flat and that is what my Dad's side of the family has and I just always assumed I was stuck with it. But all these squats and lunges and I grew a butt.  I noticed and thought I was going crazy but then hubby noticed and my Mom noticed! LOL!!  I have kind of a small obsession with my lower half between my new butt and my legs that have next to no fat on them now. I am like how short can I where my shorts?? HAHAHAHA!!  But I am an apple shape so my middle is my problem section and will be the last to lose the weight.  I am not even half way to my goal yet but I am thrilled with my progress so far.

I can not say enough positive things about Beachbody, Shakeology and the 21 day fix.  I am in love with it all!!  There have been allot of things that this program has helped me fix with in myself.  But that is something to write about in the next blog.  I hope to get a post up weekly again.  

So until next weekend in all things Choose Joy!!

The secret formula----

What if I told you I have the secret formula to weight loss and health?  Everyone who has ever struggled with weight has wished there was a magic pill we could take to fix it. We fool our selves into believing we are healthy even though over weight. We've tried several diets work outs and sure we'll lose some but we gain it back and nothing seems sustainable over long periods of time. In my previous blog post Here, I explain why that isn't all your fault. We are programed to believe that losing weight should be simple, quick and easy.

The secret formula:

One of my favorite Thomas Edison quotes is: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Our health is something so important, to everyone but us.  I have put off the importance of my health for years. Telling myself it's not that bad or I don't have time to do anything about it.  I would then try to do something and I would get a personal trainer but not willing to give up my food. My logic was always well if I am now working out I can continue to eat the way I was before I was working out and so I should lose some weight.  Or join WW and use all my weekly points on treats and my favorite foods and find myself not losing weight ,even though I am staying with in my weekly point allowance. And I would be frustrated that the craving for junk food never seemed to go away.  Always finding the loop holes, always convincing myself it is not working and it is not my fault I am doing everything I am suppose to do.  Well here is the truth bomb: We are in this situation because we don't want to do the work to get out of it.  The first and most important part of the secret formula is WORK.  With out the willingness to put in the work needed we will not succeed.  This is one of the main things I've learned in less than two weeks on the 21 day fix program with beachbody is that it takes work.

And with that work comes another important part and that is TIME. I actually cook all the time and cooking means doing dishes ALL THE TIME. Meal prep takes allot of time and effort. And before all the meal prep can happen I have to make time to meal plan for the week. I also now work out everyday, this too takes time and effort.

This is becoming my new normal but I still think to my self THIS SUCKS! LOL!!  It takes so much work and lots of effort to create a heathy life style.  But if we are honest when we say we don't have extra time to meal prep or cook, we are only lying to ourselves.  Take away your TV time, Facebook time, pinterest time and you'll probably find more time than you even need.  It is amazing how much time we waste sitting on our butts in the name of needing to chill or unwind from our day.  This is one of the main reason I have not succeeded in weight loss for such a long time. I wasn't putting the required time and effort into the process. I was always cutting corners, I didn't want to give up my favorite foods because it wasn't fair.  I wanted quick and easy. If you are not willing to make time by taking the time from somewhere else, the changes you want will never happen. To work out I give up 30 minutes a day. My Friday nights while I sit I also meal plan and make grocery lists. Saturdays now no longer include sleeping in so I can beat crowds to the grocery stores and Sundays are no longer just Church and chill, Sundays are Church and meal prep day. After meal prep is done I can chill.

Which brings me to Nutrition.  We need to measure/track our or food and keep our portion size under control and eat REAL FOOD! If we don't eat real food, we will constantly feel drawn to processed easy foods.  We need to give our bodies the vitamins and nutrition it needs to operate at it's best.  Many diet programs out there offer quick easy meals that supply you with vitamins but my friends it is still quick, easy and processed foods.  Like I said in my other blog post if we don't learn how to feed ourselves the nutrition we need and learn to set aside the time to cook real/clean whole foods. We will always be drawn to food that is quick and easy, and when the mail man is no longer delivering your food to your door where will you turn to for quick and easy food? In America that leads use right back to the all mighty fast food drive thru.  Now don't get me wrong I LOVE me french fries! YUM! But I have accepted that I am not in a place right now where I am able to eat that in moderation.  I believe that moderation is the key to long term success but until I can control my habits I am not able to allow these items in my diet until I no longer crave them.

Now that we've taken care of your food to fuel you body correctly, for weight loss we need to burn that fuel and then some. We need to move. The next part of the formula is Exercise.  I put this after nutrition because you can not out exercise a bad diet.  While people might not want to hear this, you can be skinny and unhealthy. Thin/skinny does NOT mean healthy.  Some are blessed with a great metabolism and can eat what ever they want and are thin. But with out exercise they are still at risk of many diseases. Exercise also is the best way to fight anxiety, depression and high blood pressure.  But for people like me who are over weight the exercise will also help me lose the weight, gain muscle, and, once I reach a healthy weight, it will help me continue to maintain that healthy weight.  Right now my heart works much harder than it should because I am larger than I should be. My heart is made to provide my body with the oxygen and blood flow it needs but for my body when at a healthy weight. So being over weight is a strain on my heart. It is why I have high blood pressure.  In just one round of the 21 day fix I witnessed my resting heart rate get better. With my Fitbit Charge HR I was able to watch as my heart spent less time working hard and being in the "fat burning zone". In the beginning even just sitting talking my heart rate would be slightly elevated. Now I actually have to get up a move to get my heart rate into that zone.

Accountability is another part of this formula.  It is something else I have this time that I have not had in a long time.  My Hubby is doing this with me. He is also working out every day, we are eating the same meals at home and at work.  Don't get me wrong my husband has always been very supportive but if I asked him to pick up Taco Time on the way home from work he would.   This time we are in this together. If I asked him to pick up fast food on the way home from work he now says no.  You add that and my accountability group for beachbody and I have accountability up the wazoo! You need that someone to keep you on track. Someone working towards the same goal.  It needs to be someone that isn't going to let it slide if you had a bad day and don't want to work out. They need to be the one encourage you to still work out.  Not the ones feeling bad for you and say well just make sure to work out twice as hard tomorrow. NO! We need that push to make us better and keep us accountable.  You can have the friend that will always feel sorry for you when you have a bad day but if they are the kind that will say lets go out for ice cream, they are not the person you are looking for as an accountability partner.  Find someone who is ready, find someone that you are not able to talk into taking a day off and that won't try to talk you into a day off.  If you can't find one person join an accountability group. With a whole group of like minded people working towards similar goals.  It is very motivating when you check your phone in the morning and see people are already posting they are done with their work outs before you've even gotten out of bed. You want to be able to post that sweaty selfie too. It stirs up that fear of missing out feeling in you that you want to see results like them so it helps you lace up your shoes and work out even on the days you really don't want too.

-Work- We need to be willing and ready to put the work in that is needed.
-Time- We need to find time in our day to do the things that will move us towards better health
-Nutrition- Real food, right sized proportions, good balance of the right kinds of foods
-Exercise- Move, be active, keep your heart healthy
-Accountability- This is how we stay on track and stop quitting

So while none of this might have been new info to many of you. I offer it as a reminder and a perfect formula.  If you are not finding success in your weight loss or health journey I guarantee you one of these pieces is missing in your formula. If done correctly you will succeed. Make the time, do the work. eat clean, move and make sure you have someone on your side to keep you motivated.

A cold has got me down...

UGH The first week of round 2 my kids and my husband had a nasty cold.  Now week 2 of round too and I have this nasty thing.  It has been lasting for over a week now and it seems to be getting worse. I tried to work out through it but only managed to get 3 work outs in this week. But then my cough started and I couldn't put out the energy for the work outs with out coughing my head off.  And with this I have found myself not cooking as much. Needless to say the last two weeks have been a struggle.  I am still feeling pretty crummy and having to use my inhaler.

The good new sis I am actually missing working out. From not eating perfect I am also feeling the effect non healthy food is having on me.  you add all this together and I miss the hard work that came along with meal planning prepping and working out everyday.  I am looking forward to get back to it!  It had been a while so I just wanted to touch base with everyone. I am still here just dealing with lots of sickness. I'll be very glad when cold and flu season is over.

Round 2, Week 1 and why it is easy to eat off plan....

Lets be honest our diet hasn't been as good as it could be for the last week. Sunday was a little bit of treat day for me completing my first round of the 21 day fix. I had a homemade brownie sundae. And maybe I ate a little off plan for my meals Sunday too. Since then,  I meal prepped and I am able eat healthy and on plan at work but I have been struggling at home. Hubby has come down with the crud that they boys had over the last two weeks. While a few dinners were planned and on our plan but we did also pick up dinner a few nights as well. Along with a few evening snacks that I shouldn't have had.  I have not missed a single day of exercise and feel like I am getting stronger everyday but you can't out exercise a bad diet. So while the scale has not gone up it has not gone down either.

The interesting thing I've noticed this week is that with out fail EVERY TIME I slip back even if just for one meal, I pay for it big time. My heartburn comes back with a vengeance.  I feel all bloated and uncomfortable.  I am still  shocked at how crappy this food makes me feel.  I used to live off this stuff and I think was I really this miserable all the time?

An interesting and loaded question. While I knew I wasn't eating the best or healthy that voice inside your head says but EVERYONE eats this way. And if everyone eats this way it can't be all bad.  Yes I was on high blood pressure meds, yes I was on heart burn meds but I told myself these were things instigated by my weight.  And while my eating too much caused my weight gain I have never blamed the food it's self for anything except just the weight gain.  I know that might sound stupid cause I knew some facts about my diet pop and sugar. And yes obesity is an epidemic in America, so why did my mind constantly tell me that it can't be all bad?  And that ladies and gentlemen is because that is what we are being told.

The fastfood icons preach it from roof tops. See it is ok to eat here we have good options.  As they show the salad with the 563 calorie Big Mac.

The diet industry isn't innocent either!  Here are pics from ads for Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and Medifast.  Can you tell me two things they all have in common?  

Thing #1:

While each of these are very successful diet programs and have helped lots of people. The real problem I have with them, is the way they advertise. All these programs delude the public to thinking that you don't have to change the way you eat.  Come eat all your carbs and foods you love.  Our problem is we eat to much of the foods we love.  Not to mentioned that these foods are most peoples comfort food. I am an emotional eater and it is how and why I am the weight I am.  While I will say some weight loss programs have sections of there programs that try to deal with emotional eating, I believe it is harder to treat your emotional eating when you are still eating your comfort foods.  I've been emotional eating for so long, that my comfort foods always bring a peaceful calm feeling while eating them, even if I am not upset when I am eating them. 

Thing #2:

These programs try keep the point that: food is and should be fast and easy.  People pick these programs so they don't have to think and they can just grab and eat. While I understand being in that place, I've been there. But what happens when they have to eat real food again and rely on themselves to provide food instead of the mail man delivering it to them? Some programs suggest you never stop getting their foods. Even after your at your goal weight. They suggest you keep your new easy lifestyle and keep buying our prepackaged food.  I have witnessed SEVERAL people who have used these programs, some of them even made it all the way to their goal weight, and I witnessed them gain it most, all or more of it back.  If while losing weight you are taught that food is quick and easy and all you have to do is grab and go. You will still need food to be quick and easy.  In this situation most of America will turn to our trusty old drive thru. While we may start by trying to make good decisions but we soon slip back into the fast food hole.

What if I told you I have the secret formula to weight loss and health?  Everyone who has ever struggled with weight has wished there was a magic pill we could take to fix it. We fool our selves into believing we are healthy even though over weight. We've tried several diets work outs and sure we'll lose some but we gain it back and nothing seems sustainable over long periods of time. In the next couple blog post I will be sharing the secret formula. It isn't much of a secret but it is 100% the truth. But just a heads up: there is no magic pill, there is no magic wrap, there is no magic diet, there is no magic cleanse.......

I think I know what happened.....

After spending all day in shock of my pictures. Knowing how little the scale said I loss and yet the inches totaled more than the pounds loss. -6.7 lbs = -9.5 inches...... But how?????

I have lost 6 lbs before and never have had the change in the way my clothes fit. I mean I started wearing different jeans because the other ones wouldn't stay up.  The work outs made all the difference.  While the scales only showed 6.7 pounds loss, my body must have swapped some fat weight for muscle weight.

Working out every day for 3 weeks when you haven't been working out at all makes all the difference.  While the diet is a very important component I would not have seen the results I did if I hadn't had to work outs as well.

For the first time in a very long time I am so excited to continue eating healthy and working out!! I am so excited to see my progress continue and I can't wait to share it all with you!

21 Days Done!!! Before and After pics and mesurements

I DID IT!!!! HOLY CRAP I DID IT!!!  My goal was to complete the 21 day fix. I assigned no weight loss goal to this, I just wanted to finish what I started and i did. While there were a couple cheats here and there I completed the full 21 day fix. Working out EVERYDAY! Drinking my Shakeology EVERYDAY! Having to meal prep up to two times a week.

Some things I noticed during the process was I was getting stronger. The first week I used no weights, 2nd week I used light weights and this last week I used the combo of light and heavy as they advise and thought I may even need slightly heavier weights for certain exercises.

The scale only shows a total loss of 6.7 lbs. That is about 2 lbs a week.  However 5 of these pounds were lost in my first week.  I was excited when the first week resulted in a 5 lbs loss but then when the next two weeks only totaled 1.7. I was seriously bummed.  I was starting to wonder, I felt like I just was not getting the results I wanted and yet I was putting in a ton of work.  I was getting frustrated starting thinking maybe this wasn't working. But in week 3 I started to notice my clothing fitting differently and was excited to feel that difference but very confused as to what was causing it because the scale wasn't showing any progress.  And here is where the importance of before pictures and measurements come into play.  If it wasn't for this I would not be as excited as I am.  Honestly I would probably not even be happy with my results.

I put on the same shorts, shirt and even sports bra as I wore for my before pictures and here is the reason you are all on this post to see the after pictures.



                                                      Before                        21 Days later

I lost a total of 9.5 inches!

     Before                     21 Days later

Chest:  47 3/4 in           46 1/4

Waist:  43 1/2 in            40 1/2

Hips:   49 1/2 in            47 3/4

R Bi:   14 1/2                13 1/2

L Bi:   14 3/4                 14 1/4

R Th:  25 3/4                25 

L Th:  24 1/4                24 

R Cal: 15                     14 1/2

L Cal: 15 1/4                15

Another thing I witnessed was the effect this had on my heart.  Before I started the 21 Day fix my Resting heart rate was between 85-87 BPM and now just 20 days later I am at a resting heart rate of 74. It is really strange to be able to witness your heart get stronger and healthier.

I am still so shocked by the fact that these pictures only reflect 6.7 lbs of weight loss.  I am very happy with my results and was excited to share them.  I can't wait to see what the next round of the 21 day fix brings!!  If this is something your interested in trying let me know and we can work together to achieve our goals!

Keep on going

We've all been there you decide to reward yourself with a treat or cheat meal because you've been rocking your diet.  Then one meal turns into the day and that day turns into a week. For me when this happens I start feeling guilty then to try to help me feel better I eat more. Then I get depressed and the cycle continues and it turns into a cheat week or even month.  Today is day 20 of the 21 day fix.  While I haven't been perfect I've worked very hard.  This last week I had A WEEK!! Sick kids, hubby having to work late, Only 4-5 hrs of sleep each night.  By the time Friday rolled around this is the breakfast I choose from work.

Yes that is a breakfast sandwich and a doughnut. I was done, I was stressed, I was spent.  I sent this pic to my hubby and said well this was breakfast, we need to change our dinner plans. LOL!! We had a carb in our dinner plans but with all the carbs on this plate I couldn't have any more.  And you get right back on track.

Here is my lunch and Dinner from the same day.  This is something I've literally NEVER been able to do.  I have always been unable to do this.  If I had a cheat meal it ALWAYS turned into a cheat day, week, month.....  I've have not once EVER had just one cheat meal.  I have managed to do this a couple times during this round of the 21 day fix.  I have go off plan a bit enjoyed a treat and gotten right back at it.  While this is something I have struggled with for 10 years I was able to take real control over the last 3 weeks.  I know that how hard it is to do, it used to seem impossible to me and yet it can be done.  Tomorrow is day 21 and I get to share my results and they are surprising! 

What if this takes over a year???

I know we are only two days into week three but the scale and I are not getting along right now.  A couple dinners a little off plan last weekend and I am still paying for it.  This is normally where I get frustrated and quit, because I can maintain my weight eating basically what ever I want and now I've been eating healthy for 2 full weeks starting our 3rd and still feel like I am playing catch up.  Having hubby do this with me has made such a difference.  I vented my frustrations and he told me he also was up a couple pounds and isn't quite back to his highest loss yet either.  Made me feel like I wasn't crazy or alone in this process. I see and hear of many other people who have lost over 10 lbs in 3 weeks doing there diets. They are all on a different path than I am and I don't think any of them are working out with their diet plans.  I could let myself get jealous and frustrated and quit or I can keep moving forward.

My Mom said today, in response to my venting, that even if we only lose 1 pound a week that is 52 lbs in a year and we need to plan for the long haul.  I have more than 52 lbs to lose. What if this takes over a year?  It seems daunting to think about it taking that long but I know the time will pass anyway.  Hubby has less weight to lose but as we are on week 3 I feel like I am getting the hang of the meal prep and planning. That has always been my biggest struggle, that and cooking.  Now I am cooking all the time. Our fruits and veggies used to spoil and now I have to buy them twice a week because we eat them all. Progress is being made in many ways and I am choosing to focus on the changes I am seeing, even though the scale may not show them.

On to week 3!!

The work outs have been great!  I've been able to accomplish more and I've started using weights. Now the food this week was something else. Hubby and I have been rocking breakfast and lunch but come to dinner time we haven't done as well this week. We lacked the meal planning we had the week before and so weight loss has slowed down to a halt for me.  Together we've lose 13 lbs so far!!!  It is right back on track tomorrow. I spent all day shopping and meal planning and prepping again. Getting better at it this time there was hardly any mess this time. LOL!

And after another week of tracking I can confirm that my resting heart rate has improved!!  When I first got my fitbit Charge HR my resting HR was 85 BPM and that isn't that great.  But since working out and changing my eating habits my new resting HR is now down to 77 BPM.  Proof that my heart is getting healthier already.  

As I said this weekend was hard on the eating we didn't do so well and the most interesting thing that happened is my moods. Foods that I've turned for years to to make me "happy" have been having the opposite effect. I told hubby we've cheated a little over the last couple days and my mood has tanked shortly after, I feel depressed, lazy and cranky.  And it isn't the just the dieting talking because I am not even thinking about the diet aspect of anything just sitting here watching a show enjoying myself and then it hits me!  It makes me cranky to think that the foods I've been eating for years could have been making me cranky. LOL!! But in all seriousness while I know lots of the food that is out there is bad for you. We went out to dinner and I felt I made good healthy choices yet I felt the same way even still seating at our table. I was feeling so healthy and "clean" and it only took a few cheat meals to take that feeling away.  I am happy to report that I am not in my normal Oh well time to give up. Even with ZERO weight loss this week after working out everyday and sticking to our diet all week, well until Friday. But as of Friday the scale was still the same as last Monday. So I am planning on skipping weigh in tomorrow and will take do weigh in and measurements next Monday after my first round of the 21 day fix is complete. :-)

If you are on my Facebook page you're aware that I have been working on a blog post about the secret formula for weight loss and health. It is getting long so i've decided to break it up into a couple blog post so be on the look out!! 

Week 2 Day 4...A Disney Mile

This photo might not look like anything special to anyone. 1 mile in 15:59 is not fast. Lots of people can walk 15 min miles and to know that I sweated this one out might even make some of them laugh.  It is just one mile. This one mile is not my fastest mile, this is not my 100th mile, or the last mile of a half marathon. So what makes it special to me?

For the last few days I've been wanting to run.  I am shocked at what working out at home for a half hour a day has done to my motivation and the way I am feeling.  Yesterday I missed my work out due to an unexpected night w/ hubby. I told hubby that I was thinking about getting on the treadmill before my work out to kind of make up for the one I missed. And the thought and itch to run never left my brain.  I laced up my running shoes and thought I'll just warm up with some intervals for 15 mins. I have not even jogged for 16 months, that was the Run a Muk 2015 and I walked that 5K except for the last 1/10th of a mile, once we could see the finish line.  The time before that was The Tinkerbell Half Marathon in May 2015.  I had no idea what to expect getting on the treadmill today.  Would I be back to square one where 1 mile was taking me around 25 mins? As I watched the time on the treadmill, I kept on pushing it. At 15:59 I hit 1 mile and hit stop and smiled. The minimum speed requirement to run a RunDisney run is 16 min miles. After all this time I was able to pull out a Disney Mile.  And I am pretty darn pleased with that.

Week 2 Day 1...Weigh in.

Current weight loss -5.1 lbs

Yep you read that right I lose 5.1 lbs this last week and that included our night out on Saturday.  I couldn't be any happier with that result!  So this seems to be working like really well!

I had the day off and spent it with lots of cleaning, meal prep and cooking. So we are set for lunches again for next week. Todays work out went so much better than last Monday. Last Monday I thought i was going to die and was sore right away.  For those who don't know how the 21 day fix works we do the same exercises each week so what I did last Monday is the same thing I did today.  I started using light weights this week and I was able to push myself more and do more. YAY for that too!!  Tomorrow is get up early and work out, not my favorite thing but on my work days it is so much better to be done before work.  

Short post today but I wanted to checkin with my weigh in. :-)

Week One DONE!!!

Week One is complete!! With the exception of our dinner out last night I have stuck to the eating plan, even with our trip out for Mexican today I felt pretty confident in my choices. I did see some weight gain on the scale this morning from our AH-MAZING meal last night, but it was less than a pound.  I've heard some say that the weight gain from the cheat day or meal wouldn't show up until 2 days later so we will see what tomorrows weight in brings.

How do I feel after week one?  It is hard to explain but I am feeling better. I mean I am still not strong and my beginner work outs still are kicking my butt and I am sore.  But the crankiness is starting to leave me. Is it weird to say I feel healthier after only a week? Cause I feel like I am cleaner on the inside. LOL!! I know that doesn't make any since but that is kind of the only way I can explain it. And I have an interesting tidbit thanks to my fitbit.  I want to have another week of tracking to see if it is accurate but with my heart rate tracking fitbit I am literally watching my heart already getting healthier in only 7 short days my resting heart rate has gone down.  Like I said I am going to track it again this week and see this pattern I've noticed continues.

On to the food of the week. I didn't take pictures of everything, I should have for you guys. But I have pictures of some of the new and favorite things. :-) This first picture is the best new thing we made and that was Fresh Salsa to enjoy with our taco salads. It was SO good and went all toward our veggie quota for the day. It was so good hubby requested it again for Taco salad night this week.

                                             

Steak, Broccoli & baked sweet potato

My favorite breakfast, Strawberries, two scrambled eggs and half a min began or english muffing w/ peanut butter. 

This was a good first attempt but needed more seasoning

Now Shakeology is part of my daily meal plan.  It counts as a protein but it is also our daily vitamin too. It is a protein shake so if you are not a fan of protein shakes and that was me. It takes a little getting used to.  Now granted I've tried this before with other companies and I have been so nauseated by their protein shakes I could not continue.  I made it the whole week having ones of these everyday.  While I can't say for sure yet what effect they are having I know they are getting allot of good vitamins into my system. And I can't help but wonder if the whole "feeling clean inside" has something to do with this. I've done many diets and after weeks of Weight Watchers I don't ever remember actually feeling healthier and "cleaner".  On to next week! We'll see what the weigh in ends up being I am hoping for 4 lbs. psssttt don't tell...... but I was at -4.5 on Saturday morning but I am just hoping for 4 after Daniel's and Mexican seasoning today.

Day 6: Weekend mode

Something interesting happened. We had a very full day of plans this Saturday. I was having a LuLaRoe party at my friends house who is a consultant (earned $85 in free stuff too!), then right over to the in laws to watch the Hawks play, then out to one of our favorite places to eat Dinner (Daniel's a local steak house).  My youngest was up pretty late last night with this new cold bug he caught so I was planning on sleeping in until 9AM then getting up getting my car cleaned out and ready to go. I was in complete weekend mode.  I woke up and in about 15 minuets realized I had not planned on working out at all. O_O  I had shut off that side of my brain that quick.  I realized quickly that I no longer have the time I thought I had. I was instantly annoyed that I had to work out and seriously considered just skipping a day because well "it's only one day" But I didn't I got up and did my work out and felt really good about getting it done. I started thinking about how I am really starting to feel better after 6 days of working out every day and eating right. Then Dinner happened......

Oh my goodness Dinner was amazing!! On the 21 day fix you can swap out one of your carbs for a treat 3 times a week. I haven't done that at all this week so I figured I would use it for this this.  I didn't eat all my dinner and I noticed I got full allot faster than I would have even a few weeks ago. I did splurge, I had dessert.  Knowing to make all the steak and potatoes and yummy as they do there is allot of added butter and I didn't special order it, I just enjoyed it. We only go to this place once to twice a year because it is a little on the pricy side.  I am worried about weigh in on Monday and it is funny cause after this morning I was realized how good I was starting to feel after eating healthy and exercising. This one meal made me want to say lets take a break from the whole diet thing a little longer. Hubby on the other hand said he has been feeling better and enjoyed his dinner tonight but is looking forward to getting right back at the eating plan tomorrow. I told him not me I am like well now lets order pizza. I am so thankful that he is doing this with me to such a extreme degree because who knows if I would have taken a longer break but with him by my side step by step this time I know tomorrow we will be back on track.

Tomorrow is meal prep day and I plan on showing some pictures of the yummy meals I got to eat this week. :-)

Day 4, a migraine and why I can't quit

I woke up several times early morning like 4-6 with my head pounding.  I'd doze back up just to be woken back up by the throbbing in my brain. It was so bad I couldn't get my kids to school this morning. I finally got up at 7:30 and took some tylenol and the head ache didn't dull until 9AM. Even after 9AM I could still feel the headache and that is when I know I have a migraine. I can't get it to go away and sometimes it last all day. Once I got up I decided to try to drown it with water and drank SO much water today.  All day along with the migraine I had the biggest craving for my diet pop.  ALL DAY LONG!  Every thing I did made me want one. I normally have one while I am cooking or cleaning and have them with meals. It was about half way through the day I realized the cause of my migraine was probably sugar, aspartame and caffeine withdrawals.  I am going through withdrawals like any junky would.  I love my diet pop and really don't want to give it up at all. I miss it so much.  Heck I love a good regular cola too and I knew all I would have to do is down an ice cold coke and my migraine would magically disappear. I came close a couple times to just giving in for the sake of the pain in my head but I didn't.

I opted for the Flat Abs Fix instead of the Pilates Fix, I remember really hating it that last time I did this for a week. And as I've stated I always follow the moderator to make sure I am not over doing it as I am SO out of shape. and they kept saying the easiest way to do some of these were with your legs straight up. One problem I can't do that. If I am laying on my back my legs will not physically go straight up in the air. I am pretty sure my gut in my way is why.  My Mom tried the Full body cardio fix tonight and she made herself physically ill and a migraine kicked in. And there is one of the reasons I can't stop or quit.  Our families are trying to get healthy and desperately NEED to get healthy for actual heath reasons. Health has to stay a priority no matter how much it hurts.