"The year of Sue"

We recently started watching a TV show called "The Middle". We love this show! The middle child's name on the show is Sue and poor Sue is never noticed, remembered or gets anything she tries out for and yet she is resilient and stays positive. No matter how many times she gets rejected or turned down she keeps on trying.  This current season she is a senior in high school and she has deemed it "The year of Sue"  She decided that this is going to be her year and nothing and no one is going to change that. The whole point is that no matter what happens she keeps on going and pushing on.

Yesterday was my 35th birthday. My birthday always feels like a new year and an opportunity for a fresh start.  I started feeling like I should deem it "The Year of Me" (like Sue)? This is also a time I reflect on things not accomplished as well. My phone said I had a couple gig in emails so I went through all my emails and deleted stuff as far back as March 2012. 3 years of emails! As I went through them I found many emails from weight watchers, body bug, Jillian  Michaels, La weight loss at home, fit bit, 5K confirmations. All the attempts to lose weight and not sticking with any of them. I feel myself torn in tow directions. One direction is the the change I feel like I need to make the other direction is the familiar and comfortable. 

I feel such a strong desire to stick to my diet and my exercise plan. I desire change and yet I am so afraid that history will repeat it's self.  Just the thought of all this gives me butterflies. I am prepping for all this to change to start on Friday: meal planning, grocery shopping, gym bag packing, and I am terrified.