I hate starting on a Monday....

So I think it is time to cut pop & chocolate from my life again. They are connected to a spiral in my eating that is just ridiculous. I haven't recovered since Christmas baking.  I've been eating fast food again almost daily and the amount of diet pepsi I am going through is stupid.  I eat so much more food in general when I am drinking diet pop and when I drink it I also always want sweets with it.  For me diet pop and chocolate go hand in hand, can't have one with out the other. So even though I think it is totally find to indulge in chocolate every now and then, to stop the diet pop habit I need to cut both. I've done this successfully in the past. The longest time was 6 months but I did still drink regular pop instead during those 6 months. This is the same 6 months I was training with a person l trainer and not seeing any results. At the time I had convinced my self it wasn't my fault and that because my diet was the same & my activity improved I should be losing weight. In all honesty my diet probably did get a little worse because of the whole: I can eat that I worked out today, attitude. And you throw in 2 regular pops a day that is 400 extra calories and that is probably all I was burning working out.  I feel like I should start tomorrow but I have a really lame excuse to wait until Monday.  Sunday is the Super Bowl and our boys (the Seahawks) are back for the 2nd year in a row!!!!
If I wait until after Superbowl Sunday I am starting on a Monday. :-/  I don't know why I can't stand starting things on Mondays.  Maybe because Monday already leaves a bad taste in your mouth why add fuel to the fire. The part of me that knows better and that this is just another excuse and I should start tomorrow but I might just be stubborn and not do it because I want to have the junk food.

Today I was telling hubby how when I am nervous about something I avoid it at all cost. Tomorrow we run a 10K for our training and I didn't run this week.  My BFF has the opposite reaction and the what is probably the normal reaction, she prepares.  She has yet to miss a day of training and I am so proud of her for this.  I know the training helps me so much but because I am so nervous about this whole process and my lack of eating healthy I am avoiding it like crazy.  It is not the smart thing to do and I have no one to blame but myself.  I am not saying that in the "poor me, it's all my fault" way I am saying yep I screwed up and I know it way.  I am past the point of making excuses as to why things haven't worked in the past & why I haven't been able to lose weight. It is only because I haven't followed through, pure and simple.  Yeah I've been sick and that took me out of commission for over a week but you know what Oh well, stuff happens. I am finding it very frustrating but not as depressing as it was to me just a few months ago. I need to get my crap together!! Tomorrow will probably suck but I'll get through it and then I need to put it into gear.  I need to get on my treadmill and maybe even repeat some of my C25K training to get myself going again. I feel like I can't run for longer than a couple mins with out a walk break. Walk run has always been my goal but my goal was to run for 10 or 15 mins then walk for 2 or 3 mins or run for a mile then walk for a quarter mile.  But training is key and I know this! I need to stop running away from my training and just start running.