Did you know that a Hippo is as wide as they are long? Dr. Oz says you waist should only be a max of 1/2 your height. So for example I am 59 inches tall so my waist should only be 29.5 inches around. At my last measurements 2 months ago my waist was 46 inches around, EEEEKKKK!!!! I have almost 20 inches on my waist alone to lose.
Some more about myself.
-Jesus Christ is my Lord & Savior
-I have a wonderfully blessed life w/ my Husband & our two wonderful little boys
-I have depression & anxiety/panic disorder.
-I have very low self esteem That is now effecting my desire to see people
-I want to be at my goal weight w/ out all the work. I know that isn't how it works & I can hear Jillian Michaels say Fine then you just don't want it enough. (Yes I am a Biggest Loser fan & so sad this is her last season) I know all the right things to think, say & do but I sit on my couch & stuff my face.
-I have always been the "fat friend" Even as the fat friend in High School I was a size 10, something I would love to be again.
-I am an emotional eater. When I am sad I eat, when I am happy I eat.
-I watched my Moms weight yo-yo my entire life. She has tried & done almost every fad diet out there & for this reason I refuse to take anything, even if it is natural, that says it will increase my metabolism or curb my appetite. Or join in any diet that has you remove whole food groups from your life.
-I am only 4' 11'' making my "healthy" weight range 99-124 lbs
-My BMI is 34.3 classified as Obese
My Weight Loss struggle
My weight has always been on my mind. I was even borderline anorexic part of my Junior year in high school. It didn't last very long & I mainly ate a very small lunch was all. That is when I hit my lowest weight ever: 111 lbs. When I hit 111 lbs I was able to borrow clothes from friends which I could never do before! That was my junior year by my Senior year I was 130 lbs & I met my now husband & we started dating.
By the time I was 21 I was 145 lbs I broke down one day to my parents, I was still living at home, about how I can't stand the way I look & how I want to fix me because I can feel me know being myself because I was getting self conscious. So my Dad, who used to be a bodybuilder, had me start working out 3 times a week & my Mom started packing my breakfast & lunches I kept to 1000 to 1200 calories a day. I got down to 130 lbs I was Thrilled!!! During this weight loss I never saw the scale I just set up rewards once I hit a certain weight. I would stand on the scale backwards & my Dad kept track of it & told me when I got to get my next reward. This was Dec of 2001.
Fast Forward: 2 years I am now engaged to the man of my Dreams & back up to 145 lbs. I was so happy about getting married & planning my wedding I didn't even bother trying to lose weight because we got married after a very short engagement. After almost 6 years of dating I had my whole wedding planned years before he asked.
Fast Forward another 2 years: I am now 155 lbs & just found out I am pregnant w/ our first son. Yes it was planned & I saw no point in trying to lose weight until after I had a baby. I figured I would have to lose the baby weight anyway right???? So Pregnancy is the most amazing weight loss tool for me EVER! I only gained 15 lbs during my whole pregnancy & by my 6 week follow up apt I am down 19 lbs that's right 4 lbs less than when I started my pregnancy. I was 151 lbs. So only a short 6 months later I am 167lbs yep I managed to gain all the weight I lost I am now only 3 lbs short of what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant. So in March of 2007 I joined LA Weight Loss. It is a wonderful plan by Sept 07 I was down to 140 lost 27 lbs & that is with some cheating on my plan & no exercising. Again I have reached happy Me so I started eating like everyone else.
Oct 2009 Yep up again a new high 172 lbs. And we find out we are pregnant w/ my 2nd son, another planned event. And I only gain 8 lbs w/ this pregnancy & lose 21 by my six week apt putting me back down to 151. My plans had been to maintain that & keep it going down BUT guess what?
Today I am 170 lbs. In late January I convinced my Mom to join Weight Watchers w/ me & in one week I lost 5lbs! I am in love w/ the point plus system it works I don't feel deprived. And I stopped my Mom is now down 25 lbs & here I sit.
In between all these mile stone weight loss attempts I tried to start LA weight loss again & counting calories & never stuck to it. I can't seem to stay track longer than two weeks. I have thought about blogging about my weight trouble before but my fear of failing & quitting prevented me. I tend to stay on track when I journal & believe me I have allot of weight loss journals all starting the same way "Here I am again weighing in at...." & all never having a happy ending. I joined weight loss forums but I know what they are all going to say either be encouraging or say how I need to just stick to it, etc... These are things I am VERY aware of but for some reason I outright fight against it.
My only enabler is my self. My family & Husband is VERY supportive. My DH eats what every I need to eat when I am trying to lose weight & he never says no if I say I want to go to the gym can you watch the boys. I am going to start my journey again tomorrow. I hope I will see true success this time around & I can turn this unhappy hippo to a happy hippo.
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