I really don't want to be effected this much by something that seems out of my control. I around week 4 of being back on my meds the jitters an anxiety finally left, I was shocked it took so long to go away. Normally it is with in 7 days but for some reason this time it lasted 3 weeks. Then of course what happens? I forget to refill my meds. So about a week went buy with out meds and for the first couple days I was still fine but then I didn't even notice the little signs. Only a week off, keeping in mind the meds had just reach full effect around 3 weeks and I basically skipped week 5. I started being more with drawn and figured I am just tired, I stopped calling my family as much and I started right back to my 24/7 stressing and freaking out about what I was stressing about. When I am in a depressed state I find a corner to sit in and stuff my face with Junk food. And not only that but I don't clean up my messes so there is a pile that gathers next to the spot that I start to sink into. Then I took my meds for the first day again. I felt more energetic. I was able to vent and talk logically with my Mom and Hubby about what had been stressing me out. More energy meant I got more cleaning done. It was the moment I went an cleaned up the spot where I had been sinking into that I realized the fog had creeped back in so slowly I didn't even notice. Honestly it took me off guard. I didn't see it or feel it happening but there was the evidence in my hands as I cleaned it up.
I have had some great insight into my life these last few days. That is what good meds will do for ya. ;-D Another blog post coming soon.
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