Well I completed it the full cleanse w/o cheating. Total loss is the same as day 6 so I am down 5.6 lbs according to my home scale. Weight Watchers scale is about 1.4 pounds more than mine. I am going to try to get back in there on Wed to weigh in there and get going again. The last few days have been such a roller coaster of emotions. So much going on in our hectic little lives. And we throw PMS on top of it all and I've been a real pleasure to be around. (please read that last sentence w/ sarcasm)
Tomorrow is the Warrior Dash and I am nervous but not as nervous as I was last year. Last year I had so much racing through my mind just about the Warrior Dash (see that blog post HERE) It is where I fesed up and admitted that I quit almost everything I try to do. I had never ran a 5K before I hadn't trained at all. Now I have been running for 5 months and have run a few more 5K's. I feel a little bit more prepared but I am still not the image I had in my mind for this day. A year ago I had this AMAZING plan. By the time I did this again I was going to be able to Kick it's ass & look smoking hot doing it. Giving myself a year to lose the 55 lbs was totally doable. Only 1.05 lbs to lose a week and I'd hit it. That is cutting a measly 515 calories a day and I could have done it. This morning I was bombarded with all the reminders of every time I've tried hard lost 5 lbs and then gained the next week or lost next to nothing and then the thing that follows that is the bingeing. Then the saying I'll get back on rack but when the weight comes back on in 2 days that familiar screw this attitude sets in. Figuring if I can eat what I want and maintain my weight I should just get happy where I am at. But I can't be. This overweight me isn't me. It keeps allot of me hidden away because of the way I feel about myself. I come out of my shell and am still myself so to speak around close friends and family but like I witnessed in the home movies of our last Disneyland trip, I am uncomfortable. Constantly adjusting clothing, trying to hid from the camera. I lack energy to do what I really want to do. I need to keep going. Keeping in mind that slow and steady will win this race. All the other crap going on in life right now isn't going to stop because I am eating fattening foods or if I am eating healthy. Life is always going to happen. I need to find a better coping mechanism.
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