My First weigh in Wednesday

Well today was the day!! I met with my new trainer and went to my first Weight Watchers meeting for my official first weigh in. My new trainer weighed me in and so did WW and the scales are basically the same.  WW had me at 182.4 and the gym had me at 182.2.  I met my MIL at WW and we stayed for both the regular meeting and the orientation meeting which was super full being the first meeting of January.  From our orientation, I found out all the details of Beyond the Scale is basically what I thought it was going to be; lots of lean protein, fruits, veggies and complex carbs. While I can technically eat anything I want, the point value on things with sugar, besides fruits, and fat has sky rocketed. For example I spent all day after the meeting today grocery shopping and there were some WW fudgesicle bars that were valued at 1 Points Plus, the last couple years program and now on the new Smart Points program that same fudgsicle is now 4 Smart Points. This is what I was expecting so I was totally on board. My MIL however looked over at me after the meeting and said "Well I still don't know what the hell I am suppose to do" and "this is not what I was expecting."  So I asked her what was she expecting and she said she didn't know but "I guess I'll give this crap a try" REALLY!?!?!  She is the only reason I joined the meeting and not just online, because she didn't want to go to the meetings alone.  I don't think she is a regular reader of my blog but even if she is WTH man!!  It kind of irked me that she was so negative because a few weeks ago she was very scared and worried because her heart is going into a-fib more regularly. Her Dr said that losing weight and activity will help.  She was terrified about the news and the test the Dr's had to run and as scared and worried but she is being negative!?!?!  I've always wondered what would it take to scare me healthy, like the do on Biggest Loser, and I kind of thought this was her scare straight moment.  Then the next day she called and had me check the points value of something on my app and I find out she is only paying weekly instead of a monthly pass so she has no access to the app or the website. I told hubby I feel like she isn't even trying to commit to this.  Then she was telling me that she was using her old WW slide rule points thing and that was introduced in 1997.   Granted it did work and I am sure it would still work, but the fact is that isn't the program we are on now.  I told her the points value and she said well that isn't what my slide thing says.  I reminded her that the new program thats much more into account when giving a point value and told her that had calories and grams of fat only. The new program calculator takes: Calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, carbs, fiber & protein and she groaned.  She also said she had eye balled and guess the value of her lunch.

After all this I was venting to hubby and I told him I feel like I have no choice but to kick ass this time around.   I am hoping my success will motivate not only my MIL but also my Mom who is joining will continue as well.  I have made a promise to myself that I am going to stick to it all for a month.  After a month I feel like I will have gained the momentum to keep going with out it being such a struggle. Right now I have a birthday party next weekend and I am making the cake for it.  One cupcake, only ONE cupcake is 11 points!  I get 30 daily points and 35 weekly points.  I can plan for it and I need to stick to just one cupcake.  It takes planning but it is all workable and doable.
Slow and steady wins the race. Hoping for 5 lbs weight loss a month. My body has never don't more than that, if it wants to that would be amazing but having a nice slow loss will help me keep it off in the long run.  Now that I am fully stocked with good food choices I am ready to start tomorrow.

Plan, Prep and Purge

Plan: As the great Benjamin Franklin said "if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail."  I have been spending lots of time researching new point values for certain foods and making lists of meals we eat that I know are pretty healthy. This Wed I will attend my first meeting to get all my documents and info about the program.
At the end of last year I was really frustrated with the fact that there was no real fitness, food journal out there that was the way I really wanted. I started making one on my computer and toyed with the idea of having it published.  It was full of inspirational quotes, bible verses, spots for meal planning, goals, training, food tracking. I never quite finished it but I had purchased some Erin Condren Life Planners for my Niece and my SIL for Christmas.  I had never heard of them before but I love planners and they were both kind of obsessed with them.  After I got them theirs I started researching them, watched a couple youtube videos and found out that people personalize them with these stickers.  As fast as my fingers could take me I went and looked up stickers on etsy and found like EVERYTHING I could ever want in a planner.  My own Life Planner and it arrives next Wed. I have purchased special stickers for tracking my WW points, my water intake, my budget will even be in here.  I think I may have truly found the planner I've been looking for for years.  I even have stickers to track my C25K and my running and work outs.  After I start using it I'll do a review here and show you how I am using it to track everything.

Prep:  The prep stage will be full of grocery shopping and portioning out my food into baggies  and labeling point values on them, so I can just grab and go.  This is very tedious and time consuming, but every time I've done this in the past I am successful at my diet.  It is because it takes some of the work out of the whole eating healthy.  Lets be 100% honest, I don't eat healthy because I am to lazy to put to work into it.  I know what I should be eating but it is just so much easier to not think about it and grab fast food on the way home.  Dinner and evenings are always the hardest for me it is when I want to snack and when I don't want to cook.  But for the next 4 months I'll be getting off a little earlier so that should help. I just need to be determined to take food out the night before for dinner the next day.  But this too will be on my daily planner. I need

Purge: While this may not be the last step, it'll probably happened at the same time as Prep step and that is to rid my house of foods that are not good for me or are trigger foods.  Get rid of all my go to comfort foods. These foods come at a much higher cost in points now and while I will still be able to have a treat every now and then but for now will be a big detox.  I have my 24 day challenge from Advocare and that includes the cleanse that should help with my cravings.

I am feeling very scared and determined all at the same time.  I am excited for this year, a year ago today my BFF and I finished our first "long run" on our half marathon training. I still can't believe that was only a year ago it feels like forever ago.

Happy Healthy New Year

"Do not remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing!" Isaiah 43:18-19

I think I've already said my husband and I have decided that 2016 needs to be the year of health.  We have many medical situations and pending problems to put them off any longer.  While I am not the biggest fan of New Years Resolutions because 9/10 people give them up in just a few weeks. But there is that 1, that 1 out of 10 that does it.  Why can't I be the 1? One of the definitions of resolution is "The Action of solving a problem."  Well my health is a problem and I am working on a solution to fix this problem so here it is I am making a resolution to get healthy.

My health issues are as follows: Anxiety, Depression, High blood pressure, acid reflux/ulcer, high risk of type 2 diabetes(not pre diabetic yet).  These are reason enough to get healthy. My husbands Mom's side of the family has major history of heart problems. His grandpa had a heart transplant, grandma's heart is always in a-fib, his Mom's heart goes in and out of a-fib & she has high blood pressure.  His younger brother has had high blood pressure for years and had a heart attack scare when he was only 26!  He had chest pains and fell down the stairs and the called 911.  They found that his body had released the hormone your body releases after you have a heart attack. So they went up to investigate his heart and said they found no damage.  Then they said he might have thither condition that would require a pace maker and had him wear a heart monitor for a month. After all this when we asked he said well I guess every thing was fine.  It's been 7 years since this happened and I can't help but think that maybe he really did have a heart attack but his heart was strong enough to not take on any damage. And the thought of that is terrifying. My MIL is going through all kinds of tests right now because of her heart going into a-fib more.  All this makes my hubby really want to focus on keeping his heart as healthy as possible. And he worries about me getting Type 2 Diabetes because it EVERYONE on my Dad's side has it.

So what is the plan?  I have rejoined Weight Watchers to try out their new plan and my MIL & Mom are going to join too! I am thrilled because it is always better to have buddies to change your diet with. My MIL and I will be going to the meetings while my mom is just joining the online but we'll all be doing the program. I did the math and I need to lose 58.4 pounds that is just over 32% of my body weight basically 1/3 of myself.  My number one goal is health and a side effect of eating better and working out is weight loss. Our first WW meeting is 1/6 and that is also the day I am finally meeting me new personal trainer.  I am looking forward to blogging updates and I will have Weigh in Wednesday's plus My fitness plans for next year is not long distance runs but I want to be able to run a while 5K with out stopping. So to start I am hoping to run a mile with out stopping. So I am going back to my trusty C25K program and after my body is ready to actual run again I'll start some speed drills maybe. I am looking forward to see what this year will bring!

Year in Review

Total Miles in 2015----101 miles

Hot Chocolate 15K- My first DNF

DNF- DID NOT FINISH. The Hot Chocolate 15K was possibly the most frustrating run I've done.  I went knowing I wasn't ready and that I couldn't keep the required pace but everyone told me I'd do better than I thought. I was NOT prepared!! I was doing OK until we hit the hill.  Literally from mile 1.5 to mile 5 is all up hill. This hill is so bad my friend who has completed the Boston Marathon said he was worried about Heart break hill. Every book I've read talks about this hill. He said he was preparing for it knowing it was somewhere between mile 20 and 21. Then some guy congratulated him on making it to the top of heart break hill and he said he didn't even notice it. I was shocked!!  Then asked if I'd did the Hot Chocolate 15K. When I said yes he said the hill in that is 10x worse than heart attack hill. O_O   At mile 2 I could see the police car opening up the road and I knew this wasn't good.

 I knew there were a group of people behind me so I felt as long as I keep them behind me I should be fine.  As we were coming up the last bit of the hill many people were already heading back down and lots were saying encouraging words to me and I was like, thats nice and strange.  We get almost to mile 5 and they turned me around early cutting almost 2 miles off of my run, meaning I DNF.  I started taking deep breaths as I turned around because I could feel the lump in my throat. Then I noticed that no one was behind me anymore. People where encouraging me because I was the end of the line, dead last. The people that had been behind me must have been picked up cause there was only the police.  I then started sobbing between breaths. I decided I could not accept the medal at the end. I was not feeling well and my arms where numb and tingly.

9.6 Mile Training Run

While this was not an event it was a very memorable run for me. This was the longest training run I did before my half.  And my husband rode his bike behind me as my support crew.

This is the first time my hubby really got to see how miserable I am while running. LOL!! I deal with so much pain for the first 3 miles that it makes me question my whole thought process about just doing shorter runs in 2016. I don't find my groove until around mile 4.  This is the run where I earned my 15K charm I had purchased for myself for the Hot Chocolate. 

Tinker Bell Half Marathon

This is what all my training was for, I was terrified.  Disneyland is my happy place. The place where hubby says as soon as we enter our hotel he can see all the muscles in my body relax. This felt very different cause while my body and mind wanted to realx and enjoy the happiest place on earth as we always do, there was a big dark 13.1 mile wide cloud over my head.  The link in the title will take you to my long very detailed post about the Half Marathon. But I finished it on my own two feet and can and forever say I completed a Half Marathon! And you better believe I wore that big medal all over the park that day!

Run A Muk

This was my first 5K with my Niece and Loki.  I was thinking back to the previous Run A Muk and how much pain I was in.  This was my first run since my half in May and it didn't feel like that big of a deal.  I mean it wasn't easy after sitting on my butt for 3 months and I walked 95% of. But it was like hay there's mile 1, mile 2 and yay mile 3.  I guess that is what a half will do to you, makes you feel like 3.1 miles and one hour walk is nothing at all.  I compared my time last year when I truly did my best to run 50% of the time and I was only 2 mins slower this year than last and I walked the whole thing! WTHeck!?!?!  

Avulsion Fracture

Not a run but the very next week I broke my finger and everything physical stopped. I had already been taking it real easy since May, like doing nothing. But now I was forced to do nothing! Almost 4 months have passed and my finger still isn't straight but it is doing better.  Now onto 2016 where my running plans are very different from last years. See ya on the other side. 

Future Goals

Since my last post I've tried to type a post quite a few times, I have about 5 saved, and I've gone though every process possible.   I went through the well just screw it, I just need to not even think of trying to do anything, all the way to wanting to start running again and even taking the step to contact my new trainer to start back at the gym.  Did I tell you that during my time off due to pinky injury my training got pregnant and stopped training at the gym and she referred me another trainer with the gym. She left me a message over a month ago but I was still on a strict no use policy and now my Dr has released me back to using my pinky, even though it won't go straight yet, I figure I could start lifting weights and get back on the treadmill.

My new trainer finally got back to me today and we are going to meet and discuss a plan but with the holidays we've haven't gotten together yet.  We have also been low on some of our favorite Advocare products so I was placing an order and decided to actually order the official 24 day challenge.  I've done the cleanse and tried to do the challenge in the past but kind of just pieced together my own kit, forgoing the meal replacement shakes.  This time I ordered the WHOLE thing.

I am so scared, worried, frustrated, intimidated and disappointed right now.  My past attempts that have all ended in failure. So I have a hard time feeling positive about having to start over yet again. I reached that magic weight were my body hates me.  I stepped on the scale a few days ago and it rang in at 181 and I thought NO WONDER!  The last few weeks I've been in pain, it is difficult to get off the couch, my hips and sciatic nerve is really bothering me, my XXL shirts are getting tight, I've lost all umph to do anything, heart burn is raging, loud snoring, When I weigh under 175 a lot of this goes away but right around 178 and up I start to feel miserable. My little frame is not meant to have this much weight on it.

I am working on a big list of goals, some of them maybe bucket list goals but still goals. And I have some secret projects I've been working on.  With only a few weeks left to this year they are jammed packed with parties, baking, work and Christmas of course.  Hubby and I have been talking allot about the next year and we have some BIG plans.

What's next?

I have finally gotten the go ahead from my Dr to start typing with my left hand again. So I am trying to figure out where to start with this whole blog post. It has been 2 months since my last post and I have had allot of time on my hand to think.  I started with the whole pity cycle of everything that has happened negative in the last 12 months and I am a shamed to admit I've spent a looooooooong time in this cycle. Getting lost in the frustration of everything that didn't happen and not focusing on the things that did.

Early last week I was having some struggles with my oldest son about school. And I found myself saying to myself and this is why I will never put my self first.  I feel like as long as my kids, family, house etc, have something that needs attention, I will put them first.  So how do you make yourself a priority when there are more important things that need your attention? And with the Holiday's approaching is it even possible to do so.  The thought of just waiting until the new year has crossed my mind but then I am telling myself the same diet lies as always. I've told myself I will spend the next two days planning and get back on the healthier path. Even with Thanksgiving just weeks away last year I lost weight on Thanksgiving week, no reason I can't do it again! I am still a firm believer in the WW plan and will go with that again.

It's funny, I've been planning this post for 2 months and it has gone nothing like this my head. But hey nothing is wrong with short and sweet.

Avulsion Fracture

Avulsion Fracture: A ligament or tendon and the piece of born it is attached to, pulls away from the main bone.

Where have I been you may ask? Well at several Dr appointments, surgery resulting in 2 pins and sutures up through my finger nail and I am now heavily medicated.


Breaking the bone wan't to painful, I've had worse pain in other situations.  But the pain that came from the surgery is the most pain I have ever experienced in my life!  I was literally sobbing for hours!  How did i manage to achieve this beauty you ask? Well this is what happens when your 60 lb 9 month old black lab puppy is running across the yead and you attempt to stop him by grabbing his collar tightly. he continued one direction while my finger tried to stay in the other direction and he won.  I grabbed my finger cause it hurt and when I felt myself move it back, heard and felt a pop, along with now something sharp pointing up at my skin, I knew I broke it.

The cast will stay on foe 10-14 days and I start hand therapy after that,with the pins staying in 4-6 weeks, not sure when I get to go back to work. I would assume after the pins come out would be the earliest.  What todo between now and then is the real question.