If I had only known it would have taken 13.1 miles

I am on day 4 of my 24 day Challenge and things are going just good, like really good.  The only thing I've been doing to much of is having to much of my low fat popcorn as a snack but other than that. I am not cranky about dieting at all.  We went to Starbucks for breakfast the other morning and I wanted my normal Bacon and Gouda breakfast sandwich and passion tea lemonade w/ sweetener and my order included both of these items but the Passion tea was for my oldest and the sandwich for my hubby. I ordered a water and the protein power pack and at the hardboiled egg and fruit out of that. Who am I???  It is so interesting and different this time around. Every time I feel a little frustrated and craving some junk, I just shake it off.  I shake my head and say no and that is the end of it.

The 10 day cleanse of the 24 day challenge has changed from fiber drink 6 days(3 at the beginning and 3 at the end) to all 10 days.  I was a little concerned because I have to gag the stuff down. Like I throw it up back in to my mouth while drinking it and have to swallow it again. But this is the new unflavored stuff and it is amazing! I drink it just with water and have no problems drinking it at all.  I've eaten out only once in the last 4 days and I special ordered so everything was on my diet.  I am actually looking forward to completing this. I have been behind on taking before pics and measurements but i haven't lost much weight yet, so still time for that.

I told BFF I think I am going to eventually have to blog about how after I ran my first half marathon I finally was successful at losing weight.  If I had only know it would have taken 13.1 miles to get this going, I might have done a half marathon long ago.  But I believe in God's perfect timing and I may not have been ready mentally before now to complete a half marathon.  Saying I did it still brings a little feeling of shock and awe. And I can't get over the feeling that after that having to not eat certain foods isn't that big of a deal.

Time for another challenge....

I've always been able to do anything I've put my mind to. I just normally don't feel like putting gin the effort into things. With Half Marathon training behind me I am thinking it is time for my next challenge. I have ordered the full 24 day challenge from Advocare. I've done the cleanse in the past (days 1-10) but never the whole 24 day challenge.  I am curious to see what my results will be after completing the full 24 days. My desire to cling to the option to cheat always brings me back to weight watchers. I love weight watchers because I believe they teach you how to eat in real life. HOWEVER, with WW I binge one to two days a week. Every start of each new week I eat all my weekly points in 3 days tops. That also doesn't include the activity points from all my long runs I was eating as well. I was getting what seemed to be a ridiculous amount of activity points, it was basically like they were giving me all the calories I'd burned back to me in points.That kind of defeats the purpose of working out.

The 24 day challenge has calls for no refined sugars & no white starches. Lean proteins, fruits, veggies and whole grains. So basically the WW simply filling plan but with Vitamin packs for days 11-24.  The hardest thing for me will be to just cut out all the junk. with the normal WW plan I still had access to the junk as long as I counted the points. I am thinking that at least for the 24 day challenge I will cut it all out.  That should help me break some of these bad habits and then I can go back to the normal WW plan and be using my weekly points smarter.  I know I can do this but it is going to take some work and yeah it is going to suck for about the first 4-5 days.  I seem to remember the 5 day is when I started getting easier last time I did the cleanse. I keep on returning to Advocare products because they are truly amazing.  Incase anyone wants to join me here is a link to my website: Build your own 24 day challenge

BEWARE..... The 24 day challenge calls for measurements so the next post may include new before pics as well.

Half Marathons and Child Birth

They say after child birth your body releases a hormone to make you forget the pain so that you'll be willing to have children again.  Both of my boys were born via c-section and the 13 hrs of labor I had with my oldest really wasn't that bad. BFF always says she compares things to child birth. She says I gave birth, I can do this, this is nothing compared to that.  With her Daughter there was no time for an epidural and she had this moment of Nope I can't do this, the baby is going to have to stay inside. She had to push thru that mental and emotional wall and push that little girl out.

I've never been in a situation where I haven't had an option to back out or choose the easy way and I always take it.   To me a c-section was the easy way and when the Dr. said it I was very willing to sign that paperwork.  Even as a child, in my parents attempt to protect me I was always given an way out of anything that scared me or was difficult. Anxiety runs in my family and so mine was nurtured, if anything made me feel uneasy or anxious I didn't have to do it.  I have never had a situation where I did something I thought wasn't possible and had to push thru and continue when I didn't want to.

Now I have Mile 10. At mile 10 I wanted to quit, sit curled up in a ball and just sob, there was no reason for me to continue, everything in my brain was telling me you can't do this, you've never done this. To the point that I had justified why I shouldn't keep going.  It took more than I had in me to keep going.  I was praying that God would just keep my legs moving and keep the vomit down. No one forced me to keep going, no one would blame me for quitting. If any of my family would have seen me at mile 10 they would have told me to just stop.  But I didn't stop, I push thru that mental and emotional wall and I didn't think it was possible. Even still I am surprised that I did it. I am sure the pain of childbirth is much worse than running a half marathon. But I find that the mental/emotional wall to be very similar, and then there is that hormone that is released that I talked about.........

I mentioned in my last post that the Tinker Bell Half Marathon was the hardest thing I've EVER done.  While it was a blast while in the park, I swore I would NEVER EVER do another half again!
Yet here I am less than a week out and I find myself thinking: it might have been not so horrible if I had stuck to training. Our Annual passes are good thru next years Tinker Bell Half and the 10K is so easy maybe the Pixie Dust Challenge wouldn't be too hard.  Maybe next year..... WAIT WHAT???? What is wrong with me?!?! I must be losing my mind!!

 

Tinker Bell Half Marathon (long post lots of pics)

Where do I begin??? I have been planning and preparing for this day for almost a year. I signed up last August scared out of my mind. Started training, failed at training, restarted training, suffered anxiety attacks, injury's and many tears, but after all is said and done, I DID IT!!

An FYI for my readers: BFF had a recent bicycle accident. She was on a bike ride and went across some trolly tracks and they grabbed her bike wheel and stopped her bike but not her. So she flew off her bike and literally broke her face. She had a follow up appointment with a Dr three days before our Half Marathon. She was told she should not run at ALL if she must do it she must walk it.  I told hubby this may be a very good thing for me because her fast walk is my jog.  She has already blogged about This half and said that she believed it happened for a reason because she was able to to stay with me the whole run which is good because I needed her with me but we'll get to that....

The night before we left for Disneyland I only had 1 1/2 hrs of sleep and we were up early and to the airport for our early flight. Spent all day at Disneyland and the park was open until midnight. We ended up staying until about 10PM and headed back to our room. I was unable to sleep and was so nervous about the next morning. I set everything out so I could sleep in as long as possible. Ended up with only 3 hours of sleep that night.

The next morning came so are early and so quickly, I was up eating my breakfast, Hubby got up and helped me get ready and I felt absolutely ill.  As we waited for our corrals turn to start we watched the sun rise.

My before pic is much more chipper than my after.
BFF needed her coffee still, lol!

                  

By the time we crossed the start line it was a little over an hour after the official start and fireworks. We crossed the start line and the first 6 miles was a party!  They were mostly all on Disney property, in the park and "back stage".  I loved being back stage and seeing everything I don't normally get to see. Music was everywhere, cast members & Characters were everywhere cheering us on.  It was impossible not to enjoy every second of those first 6 miles. Besides being back stage one of my favorite things that happened was when a group of cast members in a backstage area that noticed my shirt and started cheering for Baymax(me!). I threw my arms up and BFF was laughing as the cheers continued. I couldn't be even more happy with my outfit choice. The cheers for "Baymax" happened more than once on our 13.1 miles.  At one point some said "You are fast Baymax! You can do this!", LOL!! Here are some pics from the first 6 miles.

Carsland

Lighting & Mater

Backstage 

Tinkerbell

Jogging thru Fantasyland

Dancing by Tower of Terror

 

We exited the parks into Downtown Disney and then we made the dreaded turn of silence.  After mile six we entered residential area and there were signs everywhere staying "SHHHHH Neighbors Sleeping"

And so began the quietest 2 miles of my life.  No music, no cheering, no talking between runners. It sucked the life out of you. We went from super High energy to silence.  I could start to feel a blister forming on my foot and my toe and my bra starting to rub my skin raw.  By the time we got past the 2 miles of silence and we were coming upon cheering sections for us again I wasn't doing well.  BFF had warned me that after mile 10 everything was different.  I thought I will be fine because there is only a 5K left at that point and I can do that, I was VERY wrong.

We were just about to hit mile 10 and I started sobbing. BFF asked if I was going to be sick and I told her between sobs that I was just freaking out.  I felt like I cried for the whole next mile.  We had pacers telling us how far ahead of pace required to finish we were, and it was slowly slipping away from us. At one point we were 8 mins ahead, after two potty breaks we were down to 3 min a head of pace then my freak out mile took us to only 1 1/2 mins ahead of pace. At this point the tram that picked people up who can't finish, was in sight. It was still a ways away but we could see it, which only made my freak out worse.  We passed the Cliff sponsored water stop and they were handing out Cliff energy shots. I hate them but BFF made me take one saying I would thank her in a mile. It did not seem to work!! I am not sure if it was the energy shot, exhaustion or nerves but I felt like I was going to puke for entire the next 3 miles.  I just wanted to stop or at least slow it way down.  The thought of getting this far just to fail started haunting me. I don't remember saying anything the rest of the run. Mile 12 we were back onto the park property and I thought that would help but this last mile felt impossible. The fact that it was another 1.1 miles just made me sick.  Here is where I don't think I could have done it with out BFF. She took my hand and literally kept me going for the last 1.1 miles.  I would let go every now and then to jog a little but then I would start to walk and her hand would come back to grab mine to make sure I didn't slow down to much. Mile 13 wasn't even exciting for me cause I still had point freaking one to go.  Then we could see the finish and I could feel it welling up inside me.

Then it happened we finished and I started sobbing the ugliest cry you have ever seen. Unfortunately marathonfoto.com has proof of it as well, I didn't post that one. I had done it! I had carried myself on my own two feet for 13.1 miles and earned my finisher medal. It was the hardest thing I have ever done! I have had two babies but both via c-section so when I say this is the hardest thing I've ever done I mean EVER!

At 10 miles I was certain it was over and there was no way I could continue. My brain was screaming at me to stop, that it wasn't possible to finish, you've never done it before, you didn't train enough, you did well and more than most people would ever think of doing, it's ok if you don't finish.  My muscles were fine, my asthma was fine, my feet were throbbing, I was pretty sure the chaffing from my bra had broken my skin but there was no reason my body couldn't go another 3.1 miles.  That was the most difficult 5K of my life and I am including my first one.  One year ago on Mothers Day I did my first 5K and a year later on Mother's Day I completed my first Half Marathon. 

After we got our medals they handed out, snacks, cold towels & bags of ice and we sat down. I was so glad it was done. I called my parents and hubby to let them know I was done and I could still barely talk with out starting to sob again. It was about 10AM at this point and my boys were eagerly waiting to go back to Disneyland. We limped back to my hotel to shower. I got to the hotel and verified that my skin along my bra had ripped open around almost half my body, The blister on my foot is the biggest blister I've ever had and 3 days later and it still hurt.  I showered got some food in me that made me feel better because I was feeling nauseated still.  It is safe to say I haven't figured out how to fuel properly on a long distance run. I shouldn't feel so nauseated. My orginal walk/run training plan by Jeff Galloway had me running 14 miles before the half and I didn't want to run a half marathon before my Half Marathon event. Hal Higdon only has you run up to 10 miles and that is the training I ended up doing but I now understand why Jeff's training has you do more.  I would have known how to deal with the mental and emotional wall I hit at 10 miles.  I would have figured out fueling better because I would have ran further than 10 miles for 4 of my training runs. But you live and learn.  I've told every one NEVER AGAIN!! The 10K's they offer would be great cause that was just one big party, I'd do that again no problem. Hubby told me to Never say Never.  I still don't know if I'll ever do another Half Marathon again.  If I did I would like to be in better shape and do more training on miles past the 10 mile wall. I guess we'll see, there could be another half in my future just not any time soon.

We wore our medals all day at the park and so many people congratulated us on our Half.  I spent a late night at the park with hubby while my parents took my kids back to the room and put them to bed. By the end of the night I was feeling so exhausted. I calculated that in the last 65 hours I had only had 4.5 hrs of sleep and had done my first half marathon. 

My fitbit told me ended up with at almost 27 miles for the day. Total miles for the entire trip Disneyland was just over 45 miles.  I've been home for two days and my feet are finally starting to not hurt any more. My blister is trying to go away and my bra line is all scabbed up and healing. I expected my muscles to be much sorer than they are but they haven't been bad at all.  Literally every morning since the Half, I remind myself that I did it.  I still can't believe I did it.  Thinking about 13.1 miles still seems and feels impossible, but I did it! 

9.6 Miles....

My training called for 9 miles this weekend. I really wanted to go out and prove that I could keep a 15-16 min pace the whole time. This was not the case, I was close...........

First things first. I had told you I would go over part of my getting ready process for running. Here is my multitude of stuff I use/put on before I even get my running clothes on.

Toothpaste: Some of you may be thinking, why is toothpaste in the pic? I have very sensitive teeth and one of the first thing I discovered when I started running was that my teeth hurt really bad. I couldn't figure out why, it was the front of the top row and the back sections of bottom row. When i asked my dentist they said it was probably just the cold air going across my teeth. O_O WHAAAA???  They suggested that I try making sure I brush with my sensodyne right before and bada bing bada boom teeth don't hurt while running anymore. 

Sunscreen & Deodorant: These two are pretty much no brainers, don't want to stink or burn

Her' Chamois Butt'r: (TMI WARNING)  This is what fixes my butt chaffing.  It has a light lavender scent and comes off really easy.

Body Glide: This is another anti chafing product it is much greasier than Chamois Butt'r and kind of a pain to get to come off. It isn't moist like the Chamois Butt'r. I guess I would compare it more to a waxy feel.  But I find I prefer to use this for (another TMI moment) under my sagging tummy. I also put it anywhere a bra straps land.  Yeah once upon a time I said I didn't have any issues with bra chafing..... At about 8 miles it becomes and issue for me. It has even torn my skin open and it took a couple weeks for the scabs to stop ripping back off with every run. 

The next step before I get dress is to tape up! KT tape is truly amazing. I have NO idea how or why it works but it helps. Not a cure all but you can defiantly feel the difference. 

I normally follow taping up with putting on my compression socks. For this last run I tried w/o them and just wore them for recovery but I think I will not go with out them again. 

So now that I am ready for my run we can go over the highs and the lows of my 9.6 miles.  I am still super nervous about my half marathon in just under two weeks. We were able to get a baby sitter for a few hours on Saturday morning so hubby could come with me on my run kind of as my support vehicle. He held my water bottle, rehydrate, food, shot blocks and such.  The beginning of the run was very frustrating and I cried twice..... YEP, count them one, two times.  I found that familiar pain back in my left leg and had to stop and stretch it out a couple times. This cause some major slow downs and limping during miles 2 & 3. I think it was between mile 3 & 4 where the storm found us. It was pouring down rain and gusting head wind causing the rain to come in sideways at our faces. I couldn't believe I was out there not even half way done and I looked like I had gone in the shower in my gear. Shoes were wet, socks were wet, hat & hair were dripping. I didn't get a pic because my phone was in my flip belt in a plastic bag to avoid the wetness, more about the flip belt in another post, but spoiler alert I LOVE IT.  So onward we kept going. I ended up with a 16:10 pace but I had made two bathroom stops and a couple stretching breaks that don't show in that time.  Miles 1, 6, 7, 8, 9 & .06 were all between 15-16 mins, most of them closer to the 15 min pace and one even going into the 14 mins. However miles 2, 3, 4, & 5 were all in the 17 min and that is just to slow. During this time I was telling hubby how if you gave any normal person the opportunity to fail or not fail, they will chose not to fail. The idea of not finishing the Tinkerbell makes me just sick with anxiety.  I sobbed when I got turned around at the Hot Chocolate 15K how on earth will I deal with this when it is something that actually means something to me.  Hubby was such a great support vehicle. He kept with me on his bike even thought I was just trying to do 4 mph and he normally averages around 17 mph on a nice flat trail.  

The run ended further than we had planned 9.6 miles, the plus side of that is I get to put the 15K charm I got for BFF & I before the hot chocolate on my sole sister necklace. This weekend calls for 10 miles but since I basically almost did 10 miles. I am wondering if a slight taper would be a good plan for this weekend.  I am thinking about 6 or 7 miles this weekend to see if I can speed up the earlier miles.  I will have my amazing support vehicle again this weekend and I hopefully it'll be nice enough to practice running in my shorts and skirt that I am running in for the half. 

Well that didn't work....

Yesterday I went to put some get some miles on cement in my new shoes. 99% of all my running so far in these things has been on the treadmill. Thought no big deal, 2 blocks around my house is about a half a mile, I'll go get in at least 2-3 miles.  First mistake was deciding to bring the dog.  Loki loves to run but his pace is like a 7 min mile and I just can't go that fast for very long. So I spent the 2nd block pulling on his leash to get him to slow down and then spent the whole trip around the block doing the same thing. Once we got to the back side of the 2nd block my Garmin auto paused. I thought am I walking so slow that it paused?  It stayed paused for most of that block then it started again as I crossed the street to go the back side of the 2nd block and it paused again for half of that block. I blamed the dog and maybe it was my backward motion with my arms causing it to pause. By now, I am in incredible pain. That searing pain in my shins is back and I want to cry. What is causing this??? Is it the ground?? Did I come out of the gate running to fast??? Or is the fact that I had to basically lean backwards while I ran to keep Loki under control, causing lots of heal striking and my body weight being behind me?  I dropped Loki off at the house and decided to keep going but the pain was so bad.  I got to the back side of the second block again and my Garmin paused again.... It then repeated the same pauses it did last time and I made sure to not be walking to test it out.  By the them I got back home my Garmin had been paused for about 25-30% of my run and so I didn't have an accurate measurement of how far I went. my foot path app says that it is .46 of a mile so that would be .92 of a mile twice around.  I did that 12:54. So maybe could have pulled out a 14 min mile and that was with a good portion of walking.  I stopped after that first 2 loops I was just in so much pain.  I was limping a bit and it took everything not to burst into tears, from frustration, when I walked in the door.  Hubby is certain that it had everything to do with Loki and not me.  Yet I was still crushed. After my 8 miles on the treadmill was done in 2 hrs I was hopeful that things were going in the right direction and I just felt foolish and defeated.

I will do a short run tomorrow and then my training plan calls for a 10K this weekend.  I am contemplating doing my 9 miles instead.  My other training plan would have me tapering next week and I am wondering if I should do my 9 & 10 mile runs then my 10K the weekend before the half.  I've decided that it was probably a combination of why I had so much pain. I wasn't warmed up, I went out to fast & I was leaning backwards instead of forwards.  Praying that my long run this weekend will prove that to be the case as well.

Today was also weigh in day, I maintained which is better than I probably should have done. My points were in the negative. Today is the start of a new week and I know if I just limit myself to the points I am allowed I will succeed in some more weight loss this week. Each pound I lose between now and Disneyland is one less pound I have to carry for 13.1 miles.  In one of my BFF's recent blog post she took pics of how she preps for a race. I've decided that is a good idea and for my long run this weekend I'll be sharing everything I use when I go on a long run. So be on the look out for that post early next week.

You suck!

I meant to write this much early but time has slipped away from me. Last Thursday was my first weigh in after starting to track my points again at weight watchers and I am proud to say I was down 4 lbs!!!! Brining my total weight loss since I signed up about a year ago to 10.8 lbs.   Not where it should or could be but hey it's better than up.  The topic at our meeting was "Attitude Adjustments" It talked about negative self talk and even with that reminder when Saturday came all Hell broke loose. Let me back up a little.

On Wednesday before my 4.5 mile run earlier this week I was having problems with negative thoughts.  Negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts. I found my self very frustrated and worked up about my half marathon. I told hubby I suck and I'm just not fast enough. Seeing how fast other people are and the fact that people tell me that ANYONE can walk a 16 min mile. I can't, my legs can not walk that fast. This makes me feel like I must be horrible at this cause if anyone can just walk it and I struggle to run it maybe I should't be trying to run in the first place. Thursday at my WW meeting they talk about the importance of getting rid of negative thinking. But my self beatings continued.  Saturday came and I got all geared up and ready to run my 8 miles for my training and about had a nervous breakdown.  The thought process that went through my head wasn't just negative it was attacking me.  I couldn't get myself out of it. The thoughts that I can't do this, I suck, I'm so slow, what if this run kills me?  I mean seriously I had gone off the deep end. It felt like each of my feet weighed 100 lbs. I could hardly move. I was crying and practically in a full blown panic attack. And then I gave up. I told hubby I just can't today, I emotionally can't. I went and took a shower and cried. Feeling even more fear wondering what will I do if this happens the day of the half? I can't just quit.

Sunday came and I knew I had to get my run in.  I started pushing out negative thoughts, which at this point feels like a full time job. I got some solid advice from my Mom and Hubby during my beat myself up day on Saturday and that was that realistically I need to realize that because of my weight I'll probably can't be as fast as other people and because of all that extra weight on my body, running will probably always cause some kind of pain. I am 50 lbs from my goal weight and that just barely gets me to a healthy BMI. I really should be more like 65 lbs less.  I think if most people put on an extra 50 lbs in weights and then try running their bodies would feel it, and the pace would be slower. Knowing I've never been shooting to run the half super fast. I reminded myself that my plan was to walk/run this thing with hopefully a 14-15 min pace.  I got my running gear on and got on my treadmill.  I ended up with an average of 14:43 mile pace for the whole 8 miles.  I can't be upset with that.  All I can do is keep pushing myself to go a little faster a little longer and keep going, keep moving forward.