This years races in review

At Weight Watchers yesterday they asked people for something positive that happened last week. So I raised my hand and shared that I completed my first 10K and received, gasps, cheering, and  a round of applause. My WW leader then asked me if earlier this year when I joined if she had told me that by Oct I would have completed a 10K and signed up for a half marathon, what would you have said?  I would have told her she was crazy and that I don't run.  April 27th, 2014 was day 5 of being back on Weight Watches and Day one of the C25K program.  I had signed up for the Warrior Dash a second time and the Color Run.  Now 6 months later I have completed 8 event 5K's and a 10K. And yet I find myself feeling defeated on what I haven't accomplished this year. But reflecting on the year I am realizing that  8 5K's and a 10K is quite the accomplishment!  And I have every right to be proud of this year and my activity during it. With no other races scheduled for the year I thought this would be an appropriate time for a race review for the year.  The names are link to the blog post about the each of the runs.

May 11, 2014 Mother's Day   THE COLOR RUN

First 5K of the year, I was so scared.  Only 2 weeks into my C25K training.  My BFF said she could see the fear in my face. It was a great atmosphere and very fun. Lots more walking than running it wasn't a timed event we guessed that we did it in & originally my BFF guessed like 40-45 mins. When I looked I thought it was closer to 50 mins.  Looking back & knowing what a 45 min 5K takes now I am 99.9% sure it was around 50-55 mins. I did allot of walking.  But this is the race that started all the madness.

June 1, 2014     RACE FOR THE CURE

Due to a loss in BFF's family we ended up with a HUGE team of non runners. This was the same course we had just completed with the color run but we walked no running this time.

June 16, 2014  BEACH TO CHOWDER

This was the run with my fastest mile to date.  I did mile 2 in 9:40!! Crazy!!! But this was the last run I did where I had consistently been training.  I had been running the C25K 3 days a week for 5 weeks and it really made a big difference.  After this race I slowed down training and never quite got back to a solid 5 weeks. This race was on sand & a true battle between my mind and body took place during this one.  After I found out how fast I did that mile, no one could take that from me it was amazing!!

Aug 24, 2014  RUN A MUK

This one I did w/ my Mom and it was pretty difficult. The first half had hills & a steady incline. There was the lack of training and sever shin pain in my right leg. This is the run that gave me the final push I needed to get my butt to the running store for some real running shoes. 

Sept 6, 2014   THE WARRIOR DASH

Such mixed feelings about this race. The previous year this race caused such a mind shift and it was so much fun.  This time around there were such extreme Highs and extreme lows, laughter and tears. My lungs were on fire there was so much dust and pollen and w/o taking my allergy pill or using my inhaler I was miserable. I was going so slow.  All the people that came with us waiting for me over and over again. DH stayed by my side and helped me deal with the couple panic attacks I had on some of the later hills we came to. But I took on that wall that I fell off of last year like it was nothing!! That was such a proud moment for me. 

Sept 13, 2014   SLIME RUN

Pretty laid back 5K, BFF sister joined us and had broken her foot not to long before so they walked most of it. I ran some of it and waited for them here and there. It was a fun race. 

Oct 4, 2014   NEON RUN

This was my first night 5K and it was fun. I was hit with shin pain in my  left leg, I had never had shin pain in it and washing sure why it was happening and it REALLY hurt.   This ended up being my FASTEST 5K to date!!! 43:40!!! I was super thrilled with that time. I was on a runners high all the way home and wearing glow gear, playing drums on my steering wheel. while I drove over about an hour in the dark to get home.  

Oct 12, 2014  BIGGEST LOSER RUN/WALK

This was DH birthday and he agreed to run with me. My Mom came out to run too.  Total 5K time 50:57! SLOWEST since the color run.  Major shin pain in the same leg that started in the Neon Run. It was very cool seeing some of the people from the Biggest Loser. Having them cheer you on really did make you feel special. :-)

Oct 26, 2014  SNOHOMISH RIVER RUN 10K

This was my first 10K and I am very proud with my results.  It was amazing the pace they said I kept of 13:02. I still think their math has to be off. ;-)  Finding out I was able to run 6.2 miles in basically and hour and a half is AH-MAZING!!  

Pics from all races in order :-)

Now as a special treat for my blog readers a peek into reality.  The pics you see are always the happy ones. The ones where I am making sure I have a smile on my face. Well, the pics from the 10K are up and there are a pic I didn't share in my previous blog post but I've decided to share it.  Brace yourself it isn't pretty, my face says it all.

Yep I look like I am dying LOL!!!

This pic comes between these two.

I was focusing on my feet, then I looked up & I realized there was a camera, so I  was like crap I better smile. LOL!! It doesn't get anymore truthful than that people.  I can promise you while I run that: not pretty face of focus and no smiles is what I have one 98% of the time.  DH said it best when he said NO ONE looks good running. And we'll finish with the pic of BFF & I literally just had crossed the finish line. You can see the sweat glistening on our faces. 

Top Favorite Race Moments:  Fastest mile at the Beach to Chowder

                                                Fastes 5K at the Neon Run

                                                Completing my first 10K

Weigh in, measurements and before pics...

Just a little under 18 weeks until I am 35.  I am proud to say that I did make it to my weigh in and had my Mom take my measurements and before pics.  The next 30 days I am going to stick to it and see what can happen.  As you saw in my last post I am taking a break from running. But I am going to do some yoga, weigh lifting and riding my bike on the trainer. So Still working out goal of 4-5 times a week just allot different than the running 3 times a week I've done in the past.  I am looking forward to gaining strength and stamina with my cross training for the next couple months.

So Here it goes…..  Weight Watchers scale is 1.6 lbs heavier than my scale at home but that is what my ticker is based on. Since April when I signed up for Weigh Watchers I am down 8. lbs.

Weight 175.4
Measurements in inches:

Chest: 46
Waist: 44 1/2 (right above the belly button)
Hips: 48
R Bicep: 14
L Bicep: 14 1/2
R Thigh: 23 3/4
L Thigh: 24
R Calf: 14 3/4
L Calf: 15

Before pics: If you've seen my other before pics you know I believe in smiling in my before pics.

I am back on the simple start/simply filling plan for the first week or two. For lunch today I am having one of my favorite meals on simple start and it is a baked potato, w/ low fat cheese and steamed broccoli.

I am sucker for anything potato.  I haven't gotten dinner figured out yet but normally I like to go with a taco salad because of all the yummy flavors it provides. Eating things that are packed w/ happy flavors I enjoy help me not feel like I am dieting.  So far so good today. :-)

My first 10K!!!!!

It has been a few days and I am still kind of in awe that I ran 6.2 miles on Sunday. Now don't picture me running the whole thing! I ran/walked it, which has always been my running plan of action.  Before Sunday the furthest I've ran was a 5K and then I decided well let's just double that. I had a training plan that was going to have me run 5 miles before it came time for the 10K but with injury I really wasn't able to stick to it.

Before the 10K

The first couple of miles are always so hard for me. I was struggling w/ pain and my BFF wanting to go faster. I told her to go ahead of me. At mile 2 she decided to take me up on my offer and went ahead of me. I felt like I was holding her back and even though trying to keep up with her pushes me. My legs still don't know how to be as long as hers. :-) She was worried I wouldn't finish and made me promise that I wouldn't cut corners or quit. It surprised me that she thought I would quit.  No matter what the run  we have done I have never said let's just stop. Once you start you kind of have to finish it. It's not like I am on my treadmill at home and am able to just get off, I have to get back to my car at the start line. Her thoughts and concerns might have stemmed from the fact that I don't say very positive things while I am running. LOL!! If someone asks how are you doing I am going to say what hurts and why this sucks at this moment. She is very much the cheerleader when we run and I am like this sucks, this hurts, why are we doing this.  When she went ahead that took the weight off me, from feeling like I was holding her back, and it was just me and the road. There were many times I had to remind myself not to focus on anyone anywhere else in the race. Just to run my own race and focus. The first goal was get to the half way point. 

Turn around point.

Not the best pic of  but it was half way so defiantly time for a selfie.  This is at the 5K point at this point I had never ran further than this.  At this point some of the half marathoners that left only a short 15 mins before me, were passing me.  Some of them sounded like they were dying!  I am not kidding the amount of noises coming from the ones that pass me shortly after the turn around quite painful sounding.  But if I had just ran 10 miles in the same time it took me to run 3, I think they have every right to be making those noises. Thanks to all the people passing me, I went from being in the very back of the pack to having tons of people around me. It was actualy nice to be joined by the half marathoners, even if only for the 2 secs it took them to pass me. :-) As the miles went on my running intervals became shorter and my walking ones longer but the pain I was dreading really wasn't there.  That horrible shin pain I had at the Biggest Loser 5K was gone.  I thank my Chiropractor for this, he put my hip back where it should be.

The last mile was the toughest.  I knew the finish line was coming as we got close to town again and I could hear cheering and music. But I felt like I should be done already, probably because this is so much further than a 5K. I crossed over the bridge, this is about a quarter mile or so to go, and I say ok run to the finish you can do this.  By the time I rounded the corner to see the finish line, I wanted to walk so bad. The conversation in my mind went something like this:  I need to walk, just for a second…Are you kidding you can see the finish line?!?! This is not the time for walking, RUN!  And run I did. It wasn't a sprint like at the Biggest Loser but it was a steady pace.  BFF was waiting for me at the finish line and took some pics.

Focusing on my feet, even at the finish line

FINISH!!!

It was a really good run and we want to do it again next year.  It was completely flat and that made for the best first 10K I could have asked for.  I mean I have felt worse after certain 5K's in comparison to how I felt at the end of this 10K.  They took pics on the race that I will be able to download later this week, I hope. I asked my BFF how long she had been waiting and she said only about 5 mins and I was like REALLY???? My garmin watch was not charged, epic fail I know, so I had no idea what my pace was.  I told her well the clock said 1hr and 50mins. She said that couldn't be right because she was at 1 hour and 20 something so I must have looked at the half marathon clock. So I waiting for the official results to be posted. And when they were I was more than surprised.  Finish time 1:33:50 at a pace of 13:02!! O_O  I don't know how the math works because I figured it should be a bit slower than that but this time is so official I could submit it to Run Disney for my placement for the TinkerBell Half, and I am considering it cause it would technically buy me more time. But that is another topic for another day.

Incredibly proud of my BFF and I for completing this even with the injury issues we've both had. Now we take a break from running to fix our issues. I will be focusing on cross training big time so that when it comes time to start running again I won't be reliving the feeling like I am going to die feeling.  I did do some icing the night after the run. My muscles where wondering what on earth I did to them. However only a couple days later and my muscles are doing great!

with our medals

Tomorrow will be that restart I had talked about last week but didn't work because of the lack of prep. I went to the store and I am good to go for Weight Watchers simple start, weigh in, measurements and before pics will take place tomorrow as well. Wish me luck.

Injured and with out food….

Well getting started like I planned didn't quite happen yet but it will!!! I've been having sever pain in my hip where so much so my hubby says I sound like I am having a baby.  I have to ice it and it feels like it is on fire. Just like my left shin when I've been running. So I finally get myself to the Chiropractor like I know I should have done quite some time ago. And yeah I have a new injury! Really??? Come on!!!  The good news is, that it is completely fixable and preventable in the future.  My S1 nerve in my hip is very mad at me. My chiropractor said that normally with consistent activity the tissues break down heal and get stronger just like nay muscle. Well when you push to hard or are not consistent you can hurt it to much. So all this pain started at the Neon run.  When I was stretching before the run I felt pain in my hip and couldn't understand why. Then I suffered major pain during that run and during the Biggest Loser run the next weekend. My Chiro HIGHLY recommended that I don't do the 10K this weekend. My BFF is also suffering from hip pain so we decided we will still do it but we will walk it.  And it is going to be raining. So we are going for a 6 mile walk in the rain. Not what we had planned but it'll be a good visual of how long it takes to walk almost half of a half.

So with this apt and my oldest Dentist apt I didn't make it to Weight Watchers to weigh in. I didn't make it to my grocery store to get the food I need for my simple start. SO now I am torn between starting on like Monday or waiting until Wed for weigh in day.  I can't start any later than next Wed because I want to be done with my 30 days before Thanksgiving. Not that I am planning to over eat but just so that I can know if I use all my weekly points in two days I can stay on track after that.

Thanksgiving weekend we have fun plans. My parents are just coming back into town late on Thanksgiving and so I am not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year. So we will be going to my in laws to enjoy her yummy turkey. Then I will do some day after Thanksgiving shopping and the next day and night is a Hubby and me day.  We are going to have an us day seeing Mocking Jay part 1 and then shopping and an overnight away. Then the next day we hope to finish our Christmas shopping.  So I really would like that to kind of be a reward of a weekend.  The 30 days is still the plan but I just need to be prepared to start it, hoping to make it to the grocery store this weekend. Maybe I'll start Monday...

Terrified….

Because the words: nervous, anxious and scared don't quite get the point across about how I feel about this 30 day challenge, let me state that I am TERRIFIED!! Why???? This isn't a new thought process, this isn't a new diet, or even something extreme. This feeling is coming from the fear of repeating the past. The past of when I've said I am going to do this for 30 days and by day 10 already failed.

I hopes to break this feeling I started thinking about the things I've heard and know about fear.
-The Bible says Fear Not more than 365 times. I could a Fear Not verse everyday for a year and still not have read all of them. I kind of thing God is trying to tell us something. ;-)
-The only way to conquer fear is with action
-A common acronym for fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real
-And probably my all-time favorite quotes about fear:
      "Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not a present and may not ever exist.  That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice." -Will Smith (after-earth)

"Fear is not real……Fear is a choice"   it is true danger is real and we should protect ourselves from that be fear isn't. Is what I am going to be doing dangerous? Nope not at all. Dieting and working out is a good thing no danger involved at all. So there truly is nothing to fear.  The attempt to better your self isn't a scary thing.  It should be positive and something to be embraced.  Change can be hard but it should never be feared.

19 to 35….

Only 19 weeks until I turn 35. So let me explain how I feel about birthdays. For those of you who don't know, I believe that birthdays are everyone's personal holiday in honor of them! They should be celebrated for at least a whole weekend, if not a week! ;-) So, birthdays are a BIG deal for me, yet since turning 30 every birthday since has had me thinking about where I am not and what I have not done since my last birthday. Every birthday I say that by my next birthday I am going to have lost weight and be healthy. Seriously, you can check my past blog birthday posts.  Anywhoo, so here we are 19 weeks/133 days until I am 35.

Since my last birthday I have completed the C25K & finished the Advocare cleanse, but in true me fashion, I come to a screeching halt once I have a little success. I have this cycle where I am like: I am awesome; I'm doing so well, I deserve a break or treat. Then a few weeks later, I am still on that break and have lost any, or almost all, of my progress I may have made.  My breaks/treats normally included just sitting on my ass watching TV and stuffing my face.  Even when I lost a ton of weight with LA Weight Loss, I cheated the first 3 days after weigh in and then spent the remaining 4 days trying to re-lose what I had gained back.  When I run any more I find my self thinking: why on earth am I doing this?? I just find myself wishing it was over and that I wasn't doing it. But if I look back to when I was running consistently, I enjoyed it, it felt good, I was getting stronger and faster.  It all comes down to consistency.

I always catch myself wondering what would happen if I put everything I had into this? No cheating just being as awesome as I know I can be? Then I think there is no need to wonder. I know that if I gave it my all I would succeed, no if ands or buts about it.  Part of me is dying to Just Do It, like Nike says, but I am so scared to fail yet again.  I have the all the tools I  need. I have no excuses not to do this. I need to take the next 30 days and be the best me that I can be. "To push my limits and break through" (Frozen tribute)

THE CHALLENGE

I am going challenge myself to be the best me I can be and truly give this my all for the next 30 days. I invite anyone to join me, if you're looking to lose weight it is FREE to join weight watchers until Saturday this week.  I am going to redo my simple start starting on Wed. Doing this means my whole meal plan is already set up for me w/ simple start. I am a paper geek. Even with all the technology we have today I still like to write things down with a pen and paper. I got a little calendar and I have written all my daily goals on each day.

My daily goals are:

               

1. Read my vision statement & do my devotions. To remind me of why I am doing this and to keep my brain in the right place.

2. Adhere to my training schedule, so I will be running 3 times a week and cross training twice a week w/ two rest days

3. Take my vitamins and meds every day

4. Track all my food every day

5. Drink half my body weight in oz in water every day. (140lb person should drink 70oz of water a day)

6. Blog, to keep myself accountable and to keep you all in the loop

My 30 day challenge starts on Oct 22nd and goes through Nov 21st. Reaching the 30 days will not mean I get to come to my screeching halt but it will show me what is possible and what I am capable of. I will take my measurements & before pics tomorrow and post them. *GULP* So if any of you don't want to see me in my spandex avoid my next post. 

Becoming a morning person

SO when it comes to getting up early in the mornings, I just don't do it.  I've managed it a few times once I worked at a Credit Union and had to be at work at 5:45 because we opened the drive thru at 6AM.  Another time is because I had a puppy and I needed bonding time with her before I was at work all day and then of course when my kids were babies sleep just didn't happen. So I was up early but I always would go back to bed for a bit.  I have been night owl since I was very little. Like I would wait up in my crib for my Dad to get home from working swing shift and hang out with him. If I go to sleep before 11PM I feel like it is to early.  Researching how to become a morning person. One article I read said to get up 15 mins earlier for a week and each week until you reach the desired wake up time.  Yeah for me to do that I would need 5 weeks. O_O  I have found another article on sparks people (read it HERE) And it had some good rules my favorites are:

1. Plan ahead. Each night before I go to bed, I make sure everything I need for the next day is ready to go: breakfast, lunch, and water bottle in the fridge; laptop case and purse by the door; gym bag is stocked with extra clothes, shoes, and toiletries. Even if I oversleep by a few minutes, I don't need to scramble to track down everything I need.
2. No distractions. I scan my email when I turn off my alarm each morning but I don't respond to anything that's not an emergency until I get to the office. I don’t open my laptop, and I don't own a TV, so I'm not tempted to lose track of time that way. I learned the hard way one morning when I logged on to my laptop for "just a minute" and ended up being 30 minutes late to practice. (It's an open studio, so you do a self-paced practice with staggered start times.)

I think that these two things can really help me out.  It is so easy to get derailed in the morning if we have to look for our work out clothes or running behind because of needing to pack lunches. Now I don't go to the gym I just go into our office where I keep my work out stuff. But I still think even knowing what I am going to where to work that day helps keep your mind on the task of working out. There is no concern about having to figure out what to where to work it is just all set to go. The second one I liked the most was No Distractions.  If we are all honest with our selves our alarm goes off and if we don't hit the snooze button we pick up our phone and check social media and email.  Social media is our equivalent to reading the paper. It is where most of us get our news from.  I once did a activity journal. I just logged the activity the start time and end time.  Trying to be honest about it and not change what my routine was because I wanted it to be truthful. It was a little shameful.  The amount of time I end up on the computer, phone surfing is crazy.   Anyways, so the whole turn off the alarm and get up and stay unplugged from wifi. Put my music on and get moving.

I have shared my goal of getting up at 5:45 in the morning starting the first week of Nov with the husband. He leaves for work between 5:15 & 5:30. So I asked him if he could just call me around 5:45 in the morning although I wish he just left later so that he could drag me physically out of bed. Well he thought that was the better idea. He thinks it would be to easy for me to hang up and go back to sleep. He knows me SO well. ;-)

So the plan will be he will be getting me out of bed to walk him to the door. That way I am up and walking then go back get my work out clothes on and start my work out.  I am thinking running day will also be leg day, then the next day bike and upper body. Then the one day I don't get up early I hope to do Yoga.  All this organization to accomplish this should help with my diet as well. I am hoping my new schedule will be a good thing.

You don't have to like it, you just need to be good at it.

How many of you have heard that phrase before? You don't have to like it, you just need to be good at it.  I have been told by so many people that I am so good at my Customer Service job but I really don't like it. Today as I was thinking about how much I don't like my job and then I thought how odd is it that we are not more eager to do things that we consider something for you.  I go to work for someone else every day and follow their rules and do what they want me to for 8 hours. I should want to go home and do things that are beneficial for me and my family, but I don't. After working for someone else we are so burnt out all we want to do is veg, rest our brain.

During my crazy leave I was so much more productive, active and ate better.  Now that I am back to work I sit around all day at my job and then when I get home. We also started eating out all the time again.  Here are some interesting statistics for you about your job and your health.  68.5% of Adult Americans are obese and 70% of Adult Americans don't like their jobs.  INTERESTING! Coincidence, I don't think so…..  I don't think you can have stats that are that close and have them not be related.  Even though it isn't an excuse it is very interesting to think about.  It is proof that if you love your job you tend to do things to love your self more.  So you should really try to do something you love.  If you can't do something you love you need to focus on making sure you are doing things to love yourself.

So how am I going to try to make sure I am doing things to love me more?  Part of it is unfortunately just discipline and the other part is I am going to have to become a morning person.  The morning is the best time to attack the day with the things you want and need to do for you. If you don't do it first thing by the end of the work day you will push your needs away for the needs of your kids, family or just the need to veg after a long day at work.  As my shift changes on Nov 1st my goal is to be up at 5:45AM everyday.

Neon Run & Biggest Loser Run/Walk

So last weekend was the Neon Run and I did my fastest EVER 5K!!!  It was a 7PM and I had some pretty bad shin pain during it but still managed to pull out my fastest ever.  Then just one short week later was the Biggest Loser Run/Walk 5K and I got my slowest time since the color run.  :-/  During the Neon Run I was feeling so discouraged because of my shin pain and that I am still slow.  The one positive thing I've been noticing is my ability to breathe on the last two 5K's. At the Warrior Dash my lungs and throat were on fire but I've been able to breath pretty well on the last two runs. And this includes my fastest time yet.  So I guess even though I am not seeing any progress in weight loss or even my muscles define, I am noticing my cardio improve.

Festive Make up for our Neon Run

Before Run Selfie

After I am not glowing very much but it was fun.

Check out that first mile!!!

If you look at my mile splits my first mile at the Neon run was 11:34!!! HOLY CRAP!! That is my fastest Mile EVER!!! Shortly after that I started having that pain in my shin and I had to slow down.

The Biggest Loser Run/Walk it was cool to see the Biggest Loser contestants there. There was Dan and his Mom Jackie & Vinny at the start. Then we we get to the half way point we can hear Jackson cheering everyone on. It was very cool. 

They give out free photos as well, but the won't be posted until later this week. I am hoping we got one at the finish line. I don't think it will look good but I was really racing. As slow as I did the 5K, at the very end my hubby said lets sprint to the end. I said "sprint? like really sprint?" and he said yes really sprint, beat me. I was running as fast as I could w/ my husband yelling beat me every couple seconds.  How did he know that would work?? I don't know if I told him about this but I have this memory of running lines in volley ball practice in high school. I was spent I was always a sprinter not a long distance runner, yes I am trying to change that now, and my coach could tell I was struggling. She went out and got next to me and said beat me. As she took off so did I. As we finished the last length of the gym she ran next to me saying beat me and I ran faster than I had ran the entire practice. When hubby did that I was full out sprinting to the finish. I haven't run as fast as I did since High School. I mean I would love to have know what my peak pace was at that time because it was crazy. My legs felt like they were going to give out. I had so much shin pain during that 5K I don't know how I picked it up and sprinted like I did. My Mom finished shortly behind us cause we kind of left her in the dust to race. She said man did you guys take off.  But for now here are some of the pics we took. 

Pre Race Selfie

Jackie, Dan & Vinny

Finisher Medals

SLOW!!!  SO SLOW!!

Writing a vision statement

So the theme that I keep on hearing over and over again lately is to write a vision statement.  Write down what your dreaming of as if you have already accomplished it and read it EVERY morning.  Not only does this help motivate you but it will change the way you think.  So all this negative crap that is going on in our heads about how we are not good enough or how we have failed before will slowly but surely leave our brain.  Our brain will believe what we are reading and start trying to make it a fact.
What does success look like to you?  Mine involves health, financial freedom, and the ability to be the homemaker, wife & Mom I know I can be.   I now know I am darn good at being a SAHM.  It only took that short leave from work to give me a fire for this that I haven't had before. I've had the desire and the wish to be at home with my boys but now that I experienced it, there is an urgency and burning desire. My why didn't change but it has never been so strong.

I sat down and started writing my vision statement and it is pretty empowering.  The person I want to become is SO strong, positive and full of self esteem.  The person I want to be doesn't talk down to me, like I do now.  The future me is a hard worker and enjoys it.  The future me looks back at the me I am today and realized it was all in me all along.  Talking about the things I want to be as if they've already happened took all worry out of the picture. The vision statement states it as fact, it has already happened, it is done and it was worth every second of the journey.

Change the story your telling your self in your head about why you can't and why you haven't. Write your vision statement as if it is all done and read it every morning. Remove the limits and let yourself dream.  Include emotions, sights, sounds make it feel as real as possible.  You want it to move you forward everyday.  Give you that umph you need to do what you need to do. To get on the treadmill, say no to the cake at work, or order your food with out butter.  "Change your thoughts and you will change your world"

Why not me?

Why not me

Why not now

What keeps me back

What keeps me down

Fear

Failure

lack of self worth

Anxiety 

Depression

Change

Self doubt 

I need to do this for me

I need to be a priority

No more silencing the little voice inside
No more just wishing
No more wanting to hide

The past can't change
But we can learn

Keep it as a reminder
Use it to grow

Believe in the person
You want to become

It will take hard work
It will make you cry
It will all be worth it

Back to the grind….

Well it's been a crazy few weeks. Tomorrow it is back to real life.  Because my crazy hit so hard, I took a medical leave from work.  So I've been off for the last 3 weeks.  It took a week & half to start feeling sane again. And at that point my work required a Dr release for me to come back so I had to wait until I could get into see my Dr for the paperwork. That was finally all faxed over on Friday so now tomorrow should be back to the grind.  So I had another week and a half off feeling better each day. During the last half of this time off I was able to test my ability to be a stay at home mom.  Part of me has always been afraid that if the time came to finally make the jump to be a SAHM, like I've always dreamed about, I would fail at that too because I would be lazy or to overwhelmed. But I loved every second of it. All the cooking, cleaning and keeping a schedule for my boys.  My house ran smoothly, my boys behaved better and I had a happier husband and my stress level was so low.  This test of having me home made not just me but both DH & I realize the importance of me becoming a SAHM.  It isn't an option right at this moment but we are going to spend the next 6-9 months making it our focus to make this happen.  Even possibly trying to sell our house this next spring and move.

With the focus in our house changing to learning to live off of one income. Eating at home is becoming a number one priority, because that is where we spend way to much money. So since I am making meals there is no reason why I shouldn't focus on all my meals.  No excuses I need to get back to tracking what I am eating.  I know if will be easier to run a half marathon if there is less of me to hall with me.

On the running note. We ran the Neon run yesterday and it was my fastest 5K to date! Under 45 mins!! I had all kinds of new pains so I am not sure if it was because of my new shoes but I've run 2 miles several times in them and never an issue but last night I had so much shin pain it was crazy.  I have officially ordered some compression calf/shin sleeves. Hopefully they will help. The biggest loser 5K is this next weekend and I hear it is a pretty flat course so I'd like to do at least the same if not faster as this weekend. My 10K training has me running 2.5 miles twice this week then I think it is 4 this weekend so I'll have to add another mile after my 5K I guess.

Only 21 weeks now until I am 35.  I still feel like I need to make my 35th birthday a big deal.  Not sure why but 35 just sounds like a big deal to me.  I would like to great it knowing that it wasn't another birthday I was wishing I had lost the weight or accomplished some of my goals.  So what can we do in 5 months?  ALLOT, if I can just focus on what needs to be done and take the small steps every day to reach them.