What a TOUGH day!

I don't know what happened today. I got up went to the gym & that was good, weighed in & was up to 168.2 but I did eat late & allot for my Birthday. So then my mood tanked later this afternoon & I couldn't stop feeling super fat & like a failure for not losing weight.  I have only been eating ok for a few days so I don't know why I am bummed about not losing. I guess I was really hoping that cutting out chocolate was going to make a big impact.  So far today was the most difficult day to not give in & eat chocolate & diet pop.  I was in a bad mood & the ONLY think I wanted was junk food w/ diet pop & a chocolate bar for dessert. I even had to make my little gift/sample bags for the NW Women's show tomorrow & put 2 chocolates in each one & I tell you COMPLETE toucher!!! You would think I would be proud of my self for resisting & not eating any chocolate even w/ it in my hands today but nope I am still just irritated that I am not eating it.

Because I am working a booth at the NW Women's show tomorrow from 12-2 we aren't going to make it to church so I was thinking about heading to the gym again.  My DH told me today that I should put red highlights in my hair. I am a blonde & he is talking like Fire Engine red. I think it could be fun but is just a little bolder than I have ever done before.  So I am thinking to do it once I hit a goal of some kind.  I am not sure what my goals should be.   I have my business goals that I want rewards for & I also have weight goals I could have rewards for.  And I am still so cranky & irritated about it all I just want to gorge myself on chocolate & yet my DH is working towards his training for his STP & the idea of him being in shape & me not just kills me.  It makes me depressed just thinking about he is already losing inches. He had to go down a belt notch already.  I just wish I could lose like he does he eats pretty good until Dinner & then he tends to splurge but he still loses. If I splurge like I did for my Birthday not even on junk food just went out to dinner &  a movie so I ate popcorn & a payday candy bar at like 11PM so I guess I should stop freaking out about the gain.  I've been off my depression meds for 3 weeks & I just ordered my refill so I'll pick that up tomorrow & maybe that can help me from being depressed so quickly.