Dr. Apt

Well for the first time in about 6 years I went in for a physical. My weight came in at 171.8 lbs. Blood pressure a little high but when I was  seeing my OBGYN while pregnant w/ DS2 my blood pressure was always a little high the first time they took it & then it went down after I calmed  down, I have white coat syndrome.  Anyways they  gave me a new prescription for  my antidepressant which is good cause lately I feel like I am loosing my mind. I am going crazy,  Random crazy thoughts, house is a mess & all I want to do is sit  & sleep. Yep  got the depression going on.  Normally I do much better when I try to diet when I am on my antidepressant so much so that if I forgot to take it one day I didn't eat right. It was like clockwork.  I have to go back for a follow up apt in a Month & get a fasting blood draw to check my cholesterol & sugars.

While sitting in the wait room I was taking a mental note of all the overweight people there & almost EVERYONE was overweight/severely overweight.  I know on Biggest Loser the talk about how much money being overweight/obese cost because of Heath Care & I figured that made since but noticing it first hand today for the first time was strange. And I was one of them & all I could do was beat myself up over it.

I keep on trying to get back on track & I don't even make it through the day. Last week I started juicing & I did make it through one day & I lost 2 lbs & then we got up early & went for a 12 mile bike ride it was great but after exercise I need my carbs so I had a sandwich, no big deal. But then I ate ice cream & candy bars & stop trying after that & now it is a week later.

My Brother, SIL & Mom started the juicing thing on Monday & I am so green w/ envy. SIL down 3.3 lbs in 2 days Brother however down 13.5 in just two days. My Mom hasn't weighed herself yet but I am going nuts thinking about the family pictures we want to take in Disneyland in Dec & how everyone is going to look great but me. I will hate that!  I am so depressed about it I am spinning out of control. I have wonderful Anniversary plans w/ DH in less than 2 weeks & that skirt I told you about still doesn't fit. And I just don't think I have the time to get it to fit by then.

I have put reminders in my phone one that goes off at 9:00 AM says "No more excuses, get it done!"  The next goes off at noon & says "Picture yourself thin"  I still want to come up with ones for around 3PM & 8PM cause that is when the snack attacks hit me the hardest.

I will start taking my medication again tomorrow & you don't feel the whole effect for up to 2-4 weeks but I am hoping for some immediate motivation help. I'll keep you posted.

Something Drastic needs to be done!

Time keeps on ticking by & I just can't seem to get motivated more than 5 mins a day.  I can feel my self drop into a depression.  My Brother, SIL & my Mom are all starting a Juice fast for like 30-60 days. Nothing but juice.  They are doing it after watching a documentary on this guy who did this for 60 days & he cured hives auto immune disease & it has also said to cure fiber mialga. So my Brother has had this auto immune disease for 4 years now he brakes out in hives so bad that some times he can't see & my Mom seems to have Fiber Mialga & it is getting really back right now & my SIL thinks she has Gout & is sure this will cure it too. So with this news I start stuffing my face. On one had I hope it works it would be so great for my family to be free of such disability things but then I think about how everyone is going to be losing weight & I am going to be the fattest in the family for the first time.

When I was on LA weight loss they have you start w/ a 2 day juice cleanse but it includes eating green veggies & lean proteins as much as you want of it. The juice they use is the same as the 48 hr Hollywood Juice Diet but that bottle says to eat nothing & only drink the juice. On LA weight loss they say normally people would lose 5 lbs in those 2 days but I never did But I always had to start that way because it helps me reset my brain.  Cause then when I get to have carbs again on day 3 it is exciting even though it isn't very much or as much as I was used to. Tomorrow we are having fresh salmon for dinner & I was thinking that would be easy to juice tomorrow. But I am not sure how Saturday would be juicing.